How to be happy

[Mockingbird]

Originally Posted by DanaC

I disagree. Too many people take responsibilty for things they are unable to affect. That said, lots of people take little responsibility for things they can affect. I think that knowing what you can and cannot affect and taking responsibility accordingly is important for happiness.

Yeah, maybe I was being unclear. I was referring to things that happen to you which may not be your fault, but you try to ignore them hoping that they'll go away or someone else who actually caused the problem will fix it. It's that sort of 'live and let god' mentality that I'm referring to. I've found if I take responsibility for a lot of stuff I would otherwise ignore, things tend to sort out better.

Then again, maybe I'm just one of those people who thinks everything is my fault.

[Undertoad]

Originally Posted by Mockingbird

Yeah, maybe I was being unclear. I was referring to things that happen to you which may not be your fault, but you try to ignore them hoping that they'll go away or someone else who actually caused the problem will fix it. It's that sort of 'live and let god' mentality that I'm referring to. I've found if I take responsibility for a lot of stuff I would otherwise ignore, things tend to sort out better.

That is one of Jordan Peterson's basic tenets. via Guardian

Originally Posted by The Guardian article on 12 Rules for Life

“It’s all very well to think the meaning of life is happiness, but what happens when you’re unhappy? Happiness is a great side effect. When it comes, accept it gratefully. But it’s fleeting and unpredictable. It’s not something to aim at – because it’s not an aim. And if happiness is the purpose of life, what happens when you’re unhappy? Then you’re a failure. And perhaps a suicidal failure. Happiness is like cotton candy. It’s just not going to do the job.”

But how do we build meaning? By putting it before expediency. Which is quite close to simply “acting right”. Peterson believes that everyone is born with an instinct for ethics and meaning. It is also a matter of responsibility – you need to have the courage to voluntarily shoulder the great burden of being in order to move towards that meaning. This is what the biblical stories tell us. The great world stories have a moral purpose – they teach us how to pursue meaning over narrow self-interest. Whether it’s Pinocchio, The Lion King, Harry Potter or the Bible, they are all saying the same thing – take the highest path, pick up the heaviest rock and you will have the hope of being psychologically reborn despite the inevitable suffering that life brings.

"voluntarily shoulder the great burden of being" -- is one of those unmistakably Peterson phrases. But it's the whole thing, innit? That there is life.

[Griff]

'tis

[skysidhe]

Lately I've been thinking about how to make a life change. I think this will bring me happiness.?It may not but I am in the pursuit of happiness. Things are going well and it is time for me to look out for me. I've been so stoic in the past just as a survival mechanism now I have a new lease. My situation is changing just in time for my mid life -non- crisis. The crisis is behind me. It's a new feeling.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by piercehawkeye45

I know there have been disagreements with this theory in the past, but I have found Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs theory to fit in very well for me even though it isn't a perfect match. The theory states that the highest level is self-actualization and assumes that when one reaches that level, he or she will reach their greatest potential for happiness and other aspects of life.


Skipping the physical and security needs, what has worked for the people here and how have they changed as you guys have aged? Reading, sharing ideas, constantly reflecting on my life, and analyzing the world around me have worked best for me.



And yes, I do know that I will never be constantly happy, the up and downs of life are very important and I realize that.

I think my last post answers a small bit of your question. I think as a parent a person can put all of their energy just making things 'right' because they are not. Needs met is a bit motivator but what happens when the children grow up? One needs something else to be motivated about. The only thing that I can see that needs improvement now is me.
I have raised a wonderful kid. He is getting top scores and he has great wisdom and strength. It's a new day. It's a new day for me too.

[Cicero]

I just spent 40 minutes on a good post and lost it. I knew I wasn't qualified to speak about this topic!! Aaah!

No really, I'll have to come back to this again.....after I learn pateince.

[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by Cicero

I just spent 40 minutes on a good post and lost it. I knew I wasn't qualified to speak about this topic!! Aaah!

No really, I'll have to come back to this again.....after I learn pateince.

Cicero's guide to happiness:
Reach 1,000 posts before Zengum ... no matter what you have to post to do it.

Love ya Cic.

[TheMercenary]

Another variation on what some have said: figure out a way for someone to pay you to do your hobby and make a living out of it.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Another variation on what some have said: figure out a way for someone to pay you to do your hobby and make a living out of it.

Nah, that's just a good way to take the fun out of a hobby.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by glatt

Nah, that's just a good way to take the fun out of a hobby.

Who cares if they are paying you for it.

[Cicero]

Zen....I haven't even posted photos of the tick my balls yet.....quit complaining!


I haven't even posted photos of my ass or started a thread about it.....jesus...you are too new to be this hard to please.

[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by Cicero

Zen....I haven't even posted photos of the tick my balls yet.....quit complaining!


I haven't even posted photos of my ass or started a thread about it.....jesus...you are too new to be this hard to please.

Hey, Monster asked me for that photo. It was just there to draw attention to my "You sound like a horny moose" thread.

It was all meant in fun.

[piercehawkeye45]

But you can lose control over what you are doing.

[Stormieweather]

I believe the secret to happiness is to create it within and stop looking externally for something/someone else to give it to you. I firmly believe that no one can 'make' another person happy or unhappy, it is your reaction to their behavior that is the source of your emotions. Learned reactions can be retrained and changed, if you work at it.

Internal happiness generally starts with acceptance of your strengths, weaknesses, triumphs and failures. An intimate knowledge of your inner self is necessary. Surround yourself with people and things that enhance your life rather than diminish it. Be assertive in getting your needs met and don't be afraid to say no when potential situations will be detrimental to your well-being.

Works for me.

Stormie

[xoxoxoBruce]

Kill everyone that annoys you.