What a Cellarite Can Do 4 U

[Sundae]

I want to go camping with LJ, Jinx and family. They do cool things like kayak and run through the woods and look at frogs. And I bet we'd have a burping contest round the campfire.

I want to go to the mall with Monster. She would keep me in line and not let me waste money. But only on the condition that we met up with the other Cellar ladies for lunch. Sky, Cloud, Clod, Bri, Shawnee, teh Aussies, Ibram, Case et al. We'd be raucous. I'd love to sit between Ali and Monster. Oh yes, there will be blood. Hopefully just in the Bloody Marys though.

I want to go to the movies with UG. Although I'd prefer to go to an art gallery. Once he's off politics he comes across as very well educated and knowledgable about the arts.

I want to take a hike with Dana. Well she lives in a beautiful part of the country, and is used to stomping about after Pilau. I'm big, but I'm a champion walker - I reckon we could walk for hours, talking all the time.

I want to cuddle with lots of Dwellars! I want to give hugs to the ladies who are always there for me and don't see how amazing they are - Bri, Shawnee, Ali. I want a chaste cuddle from LJ and a sisterly one from Jinx, to reassure me that she appreciated me not grabbing LJ's arse during the cuddle. I want to snuggle up with Bruce and Spode, console BigV and if anyone else is having a hard time, they can use my bosom for a pillow.

I want to sport f#*k Merc. Because I bet he hasn't had a big bird before and will take it in the spirit it is intended. Also he has a monster cock by all accounts (ie his own) - I'd like to see if it's true.

I want to go into business with Bri and Shawnee. We'd lose every penny, spend all afternoon in a pub and have the best laugh ever. Then we can bring Clod in as an advisor and she will bang our heads together and in a cool, calm way turn us over to profit. Unless it's a brothel, then Ducks is a shoo-in.

I want to turn myself over to the authorities. Someone's gotta take responsibility for me some day!

I want to punch Flint in the eye. What can I say, if it has to be someone it might as well be someone who annoys me.

I want to introduce pretty much everyone to my Mum. She'd be bemused by the esteem you hold me in, but that would be okay because I'd get a few drinks in her and she'd become all twinkly and charming.

I'd like to take invite any Anglophiles to afternoon tea. You know who you are. Don't worry, we'll find a pub with a roaring fire afterwards and hold a British masterclass. CycleFrance can introduce you to real ale, Limey to whisky, Dana to wine and me to the art of falling gracefully off a barstool.

Sorry if I forgot anyone. You're all in my gang really. Even if you don't want to be.