Kid's sports - parent's perspective needed

[xoxoxoBruce]

24 minutes per period with no subs? God, I hate those kids.

[lookout123]

wait til they get older. then it is 45 minutes per period and there are only 3 subs allowed per game.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Gah, I hate them too.

[classicman]

Lookout, you are bringin back some great memories for me - thanks and keep on keepin on!

[lookout123]

Well, we had another game on Saturday and as expected we were short players due to Christmas and travel plans.

The other team had 12 players we had 7. With 7 on the field at all times that gave them the ability to sub their kids every 2-3 minutes and keep them fresh. I had to cycle my kids from offence to defense to give them a break. Unfortunately the 3 kids I was missing this week (my roster has solidified at 10 players) were 3 of the more versatile kids. My only real weak player on the team is a real sweetheart of a girl who loves being a part of the team but gets bored pretty quickly with the actual game. She likes to sub out a lot and stops to chat with anyone who is around her. That makes it tough with no subs. So we tried something new. She went into the goal. She has never practiced it nor shown any interest in it, so it was with some trepidation that I made this girl the target for the other team who has a couple of serious shooters. Their 2 best players are good kids and I know them well, but they have been playing for a couple of years in the outdoor mexican leagues - nothing racial, just a different style of play - lots of elbows and crunching tackles. lil lookout is a good keeper and loves to play between the sticks so I had planned to put him in there because his allergies/asthma had flared up that morning and I wasn't sure he could take the running. Unfortunately with the 3 that were missing he was the only one left who has really good close control and instinctively knows where to play. So, a field player he was. With that we had a solid if not dynamic team. 2 solid defenders, a strong midfield, and two weak forwards. So that is the backdrop for the battle.

I generally don't give tactical directions to the kids because I want them to develop their own creativity. Sometimes they surprise the snot out of me. The kick off was one such time. My two forwards usually pass the ball off and the players move out and try to pass and move. this time the first touch was a slow pass straight back at our own midfield and lil lookout sprinted up and just kicked the ball as hard as he could. The ball is in the air, the other team is shocked to see 2 forwards and two midfielders run right through them, one of the forwards gets the ball as it lands takes a shot which bounces off their keeper right into lil lookout's path and he slaps it into the near corner. 4 seconds, 4 touches, 1 point. My kids played strong throughout the first half and we went into the break leading 4-3. I had rotated my forwards and defense and left the midfield alone, trying to help them catch their breath. One of my forwards said she was exhausted and asked to play in the goal. That totally changed the dynamic so she stayed there for about 15 minutes and 4 goals allowed. So with 10 minutes left she is back up front and fairly fresh again so she is running back and forth pulling defenders with her. Somewhere along the way we scored 3 to go into the last 2 minutes tied 7-7. Lil Lookout scored with under a minute to go, then stole the ball back and dribbled down to far corner where he and our two forwards kept the ball buried until the final whistle. We win 8-7. I had watched our team fight hard for 48 minutes without subs playing without our more aggressive players. I watched lil lookout really step up and fight from box to box in a way that I hadn’t really seen him do before. What I didn’t know until the game was over was that he had scored all 8 of our points. Normally I wouldn’t consider that a good thing but I saw our other players shooting and him passing so it is just a sign that he was determined enough to keep going back in for the second shot and fight until it hit the net.
One heck of a game.

[classicman]

Congrats to lil lookout and to you too. You should be proud!

[lookout123]

i just looked back through this thread and realized i've misplaced a post somewhere. My team has had even further shuffling since we moved some of the strongest players to other teams. 2 coaches (that we hadn't even played yet) suggested to parents for their team to complain to the club director how unfair it was that i stacked my team. i actually went in to meet with these assclowns that were worked up in a frenzy about the issue that they hadn't even looked into on their own. i laughed as they got frothy at the mouth because i just knew they were idiots.

then they pushed my button and my ego took over. their point was that i had stacked my team so i could get scouts from a cross town more prestigious club to come watch MY kid for their developmental program. that pissed me off just a tad. 1) he's only 6 and it's just a game. 2) he was already offered a spot by that club. a spot i declined because of point 1.

ego met mouth and my challenge came out. i told both of the other coaches they could each take any two of my players(other than lil lookout) and replace them with two players from their team. one of their choosing, one of mine. one coach chose not to trade at all, the other jumped at the chance. he took my first choice keeper and a really good forward. i took back a decent midfielder and... wait for it... his choice was to put HIS DAUGHTER on my team. i feel bad for the girl. as if it isn't bad enough to not really be up to speed on a sport your dad is fanatical about, your dad trades you away. i like her, she's a nice kid and she actually fits with my team really well, so i think it can be a good thing for her, but damn. that kept my team at 9 players, but one of the moms saw the coach trade his daughter and asked for her daughter to be off his team, so now i'm at 10. strangely though i have 17 at practice. i have good relationships with all the parents and kids who've moved to other teams, so they chose to keep practicing with us and just playing for the other teams.

as an afterthought i've been asked by a couple parents if i'd be willing to head up a competitive team in addition to the rec league i currently do. a new club season starts up in two months and i might form a new team out of the kids that get stuck on the bench with their current club teams. even if we don't take the league by storm at least they'd all get playing time. could be fun.

[BigV]

and... wait for it... his choice was to put HIS DAUGHTER on my team. i feel bad for the girl. as if it isn't bad enough to not really be up to speed on a sport your dad is fanatical about, your dad trades you away.

I'm not alarmed by this.

Of course, I know diddly squat plus 1% about the situation there, but one thing I remember wanting to get from sports, as a parent and a coach, was an experience for my kid that they benefitted from. I see that happening here.

If Dad's a total jerk, she's better off with more distance--win. If Dad's a reasonable adult, she'll have it explained to her--win. If Dad's a poor coach, she got lucky--win. All the possible scenarios I can imagine register a win for the kid in this situation.

Think about it, lookout. Your case is the rare exception. There are *some* coaches who have kids in the sport, and some of those pairs are on the same team. But the vast majority of the kids already have a coach that isn't their Dad. She got moved from exception to normal.

Now. I love my kids completely and I know you love yours the same. I understand your reaction to the actions of the other Dad. It seems bizarre to want to increase the distance between the parent and the child. But I think she definitely got the sweet part of this deal.

[Griff]

Strong kids = great story man. Ever think of writing sports Lookout? That was really well presented.

Now some ugliness. The guy who ran the developmental program lil' Griff is in just got picked up for rape. We never left her alone with him, but I'm sure there are some parents hating on themselves right now. I can't imagine what I'd do if it were my kid.

[kerosene]

Oooh, Griff, I am sorry. That sounds awful. How stressful for all involved.

I agree with BigV. Daughter ended up with the better end of the deal. Don't pity her. She will be better off if treated just like all the rest on your team.

I agree with Griff, also. You should write for a sports column. Your stories are engaging enough that I even enjoy reading them and I am not even a sportsy person.

[ZenGum]

I (mildly) disagree with BigV and Case about the coach trading his daughter.
I see your points, BigV, and if the coach had started the season by explaining to his daughter that it would be best for her to be on a different team, then I'd agree with you fully. But this situation seems different to me - she was on his team, and he chose to trade her away. That says OUCH to me. Parental rejection. No matter how it is explained.
Yes, most kids are coached by someone not their parent, but not many kids get traded away by their own dad.
And what's going to happen when she has to play against her dad's team? Who does he cheer for?
This thread excellently illustrates both what is great and lousy about kids sports. Lookout, if I had kids I'd want you coaching them.
As for that other coach ... Jeeves, lay out my slapping gloves. The heavy ones. With the spikes.

And as for the scum Griff mentioned ... I'm more inclined to the "angry mob" response there. Although Griff's post lacks details - was the victim connected with the sports program, or not? And does "picked up" mean arrested, charged, or convicted? And, do I really want to know? Not really.

[lookout123]

oh wow. griff, i'm glad beyond words that your child wasn't hurt but equally saddened that any child was.

i do not support the angry mob response though. if he did in fact commit the crime then he should be quietly driven out to the middle of the woods where his screams cannot be heard. then horrible, terrifying, nauseating things that i won't pollute this thread with should be inflicted upon him slowly and methodically. mobs just get to the finish line too quickly.

[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by lookout123

mobs just get to the finish line too quickly.

Good point.

But maybe in the town center would be better - even if it deters just one child molester/rapist ... that's one.

But after a fair trial of course. Seriously. Just maybe he's innocent.

[lookout123]

and thanks for the comments about my writing. i just write the way i talk. i may start another thread about the tournament i played in last weekend. if the story is accurately told it might be shocking for some of you to see that i'm sometimes not 100% saintly.

[classicman]

Ahh, what happens "between the white lines"