Kid's sports - parent's perspective needed

[lookout123]

i just looked back through this thread and realized i've misplaced a post somewhere. My team has had even further shuffling since we moved some of the strongest players to other teams. 2 coaches (that we hadn't even played yet) suggested to parents for their team to complain to the club director how unfair it was that i stacked my team. i actually went in to meet with these assclowns that were worked up in a frenzy about the issue that they hadn't even looked into on their own. i laughed as they got frothy at the mouth because i just knew they were idiots.

then they pushed my button and my ego took over. their point was that i had stacked my team so i could get scouts from a cross town more prestigious club to come watch MY kid for their developmental program. that pissed me off just a tad. 1) he's only 6 and it's just a game. 2) he was already offered a spot by that club. a spot i declined because of point 1.

ego met mouth and my challenge came out. i told both of the other coaches they could each take any two of my players(other than lil lookout) and replace them with two players from their team. one of their choosing, one of mine. one coach chose not to trade at all, the other jumped at the chance. he took my first choice keeper and a really good forward. i took back a decent midfielder and... wait for it... his choice was to put HIS DAUGHTER on my team. i feel bad for the girl. as if it isn't bad enough to not really be up to speed on a sport your dad is fanatical about, your dad trades you away. i like her, she's a nice kid and she actually fits with my team really well, so i think it can be a good thing for her, but damn. that kept my team at 9 players, but one of the moms saw the coach trade his daughter and asked for her daughter to be off his team, so now i'm at 10. strangely though i have 17 at practice. i have good relationships with all the parents and kids who've moved to other teams, so they chose to keep practicing with us and just playing for the other teams.

as an afterthought i've been asked by a couple parents if i'd be willing to head up a competitive team in addition to the rec league i currently do. a new club season starts up in two months and i might form a new team out of the kids that get stuck on the bench with their current club teams. even if we don't take the league by storm at least they'd all get playing time. could be fun.

[BigV]

and... wait for it... his choice was to put HIS DAUGHTER on my team. i feel bad for the girl. as if it isn't bad enough to not really be up to speed on a sport your dad is fanatical about, your dad trades you away.

I'm not alarmed by this.

Of course, I know diddly squat plus 1% about the situation there, but one thing I remember wanting to get from sports, as a parent and a coach, was an experience for my kid that they benefitted from. I see that happening here.

If Dad's a total jerk, she's better off with more distance--win. If Dad's a reasonable adult, she'll have it explained to her--win. If Dad's a poor coach, she got lucky--win. All the possible scenarios I can imagine register a win for the kid in this situation.

Think about it, lookout. Your case is the rare exception. There are *some* coaches who have kids in the sport, and some of those pairs are on the same team. But the vast majority of the kids already have a coach that isn't their Dad. She got moved from exception to normal.

Now. I love my kids completely and I know you love yours the same. I understand your reaction to the actions of the other Dad. It seems bizarre to want to increase the distance between the parent and the child. But I think she definitely got the sweet part of this deal.

[Griff]

Strong kids = great story man. Ever think of writing sports Lookout? That was really well presented.

Now some ugliness. The guy who ran the developmental program lil' Griff is in just got picked up for rape. We never left her alone with him, but I'm sure there are some parents hating on themselves right now. I can't imagine what I'd do if it were my kid.

[kerosene]

Oooh, Griff, I am sorry. That sounds awful. How stressful for all involved.

I agree with BigV. Daughter ended up with the better end of the deal. Don't pity her. She will be better off if treated just like all the rest on your team.

I agree with Griff, also. You should write for a sports column. Your stories are engaging enough that I even enjoy reading them and I am not even a sportsy person.

[ZenGum]

I (mildly) disagree with BigV and Case about the coach trading his daughter.
I see your points, BigV, and if the coach had started the season by explaining to his daughter that it would be best for her to be on a different team, then I'd agree with you fully. But this situation seems different to me - she was on his team, and he chose to trade her away. That says OUCH to me. Parental rejection. No matter how it is explained.
Yes, most kids are coached by someone not their parent, but not many kids get traded away by their own dad.
And what's going to happen when she has to play against her dad's team? Who does he cheer for?
This thread excellently illustrates both what is great and lousy about kids sports. Lookout, if I had kids I'd want you coaching them.
As for that other coach ... Jeeves, lay out my slapping gloves. The heavy ones. With the spikes.

And as for the scum Griff mentioned ... I'm more inclined to the "angry mob" response there. Although Griff's post lacks details - was the victim connected with the sports program, or not? And does "picked up" mean arrested, charged, or convicted? And, do I really want to know? Not really.

[lookout123]

oh wow. griff, i'm glad beyond words that your child wasn't hurt but equally saddened that any child was.

i do not support the angry mob response though. if he did in fact commit the crime then he should be quietly driven out to the middle of the woods where his screams cannot be heard. then horrible, terrifying, nauseating things that i won't pollute this thread with should be inflicted upon him slowly and methodically. mobs just get to the finish line too quickly.

[classicman]

Ahh, what happens "between the white lines"

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Griff

The guy who ran the developmental program lil' Griff is in just got picked up for rape.

Aw, Jesus Griff. That's horrible. Please tell me it didn't actually involve a child?

[Griff]

Sorry to take this thread off the rails... I don't have much info but the guy ran travel teams with older girls like 15-17. I believe his issues are related to that group of girls. Lil' Griff's contact was negligible. Some of the travel team girls acted as his assistant coaches in the skills program she attends. He actually spent more time teaching the game to parents while the older girls worked with the younger ones. If this all turns out to be true, it looks like he was trying to gain the trust of parents. He's a leg shaver, so I had my doubts about him from the start. They're gonna love him in prison.

[Griff]

Crap. Local paper headline this morning: Sex Case Widens Against Coach
3 counts felony first degree rape
child pron case as well
one incident took place at the sports complex where my kid goes

[lookout123]

And back on topic...

Another Saturday another game. This week we faced what I figured would be a real bogie team for us. I've seen them play and they have three kids that are just awesome little grinders. They'll wear you down because they never stop, they pass well, and they can shoot. I had all but one of my players back today so I expected a really nice close game. The ref quit changing the scoreboard in the 6th minute and the other team didn't score until the final two minutes. I didn't count but one of my detail focused parents said that we had 21 goals in the game.

My two most defensive girls scored 5 between them. After his 4th goal lil lookout was instructed that he could only shoot another goal after he got an assist - with a specific player getting the goal. I changed that when I saw him dribble up next to their keeper, turn, shout the teammate's name, and shoot the ball straight at her so the ball bounced in the goal. Not what I meant by an assist, but he gets points for creativity. From that point on he was only allowed to shoot left footed or with his head. He finished with 9 goals. Every single player scored except one boy who refuses to cross the center line. He's just a happy little defender. The kids played great - they passed as a team, they defended as a team, they surged forward as a team. They had fun and to hell with the score - anyone could see I rotated the players through every position.

But the kicker and the "would you believe it?" moment for me was when lil lookout disobeyed me for his last goal. He had made a series of what I thought were really sloppy passes from the centerline into the box. I was curious but not concerned when he ran to the sideline, grabbed a drink of water and said "watch my next kick". Sure enough he hung back in the center circle and just waited, I thought he was tired and resting - but the ball came rolling back at him. He took three steps forward and just kicked as hard as I've ever seem him kick. The ball went up over everyone's heads and came down neatly behind the keeper. He had just scored from nearly midfield. He is 6. He does his little celebration and yells, "I made the same shot you did last night dad!" The little turkey hadn't been making bad passes, he'd been zeroing in that long shot. With that done he walked over to the sideline and said "sorry, I couldn't do that with my left foot." I wasn't sure whether to high five him or strangle him. Nope, no competition in my family.

good game good fun

[ZenGum]

Aren't you glad he didn't try to copy your deliberate raised boot offense from the week before?
And then shouted "Hey, Dad, I spiked him! Just liked you got that other guy!"

[lookout123]

The game this week was a hard fought affair. I had all my kids back and so did the other team so no excuses about missing players or anything else. The game had a real ebb and flow to it with my kids getting out in front early. Lil Lookout took exactly :23 seconds to put the first one in the net. The kids are really getting comfortable rotating through the positions now so whoever my two forwards are move out to the right and left of the net and let the midfield (usually lil lookout and company) move up the middle and either knock the ball in or pass to the sides for the tap. They're really doing a good job of passing in front of the net.

The other team has two kids that recently moved over here from a crosstown club. They're twin 7 year old boys who just play hard. Usually clean, but always hard. I've never seen 7 year olds who can so discretely tug on shirts and shove other players off the ball. Not skills I want to encourage, but those players will do well as they get older. Good passing, great shots. Those two did a great job of running my kids ragged.

The game was a real shootout with goals being scored every time you turned around. My kids were up 9-7 with just about 10 minutes left but the other team was really getting the best of us in terms of possession and my defense was getting flustered. So I moved my strongest kid into the goal, my strongest defender as the only other player on our side of the field. Lil Lookout was set to roam just on their side of the centerline and the other 4 players were told to just attack the goal constantly and under no circumstances were they to drop back on defense.

From that point on the other team just didn't know what to do. The first shot their keeper blocked he punted the ball downfield as his team moved to attack. I had, effectively, four forwards who just stayed near his box. My one defender beat the other team to the ball and waited until they got close to him before passing the ball right over them to lil lookout who collected it, dribbled up, drew the keeper out and passed the ball to one of our forwards for the tap in.

After the second time scoring in that fashion the other team quit attacking entirely and my kids just passed it around in front of their goal taking shots when they could.

The twins' dad had taken over coaching duties for the week as the normal coach was out of town. He was livid. I didn't even know how to respond when he said it wasn't fair to play like that. Seriously? All I did was tell my kids to attack and shift them away from our own goal. how is that not fair? It was a gamble in that they could have very well overrun lil lookout and my one defender to score at will. The gamble worked, that's all.

Anyway, the only reason this story was worth telling is the sight waiting for me when i turned away from the furious father. While he was yelling and I had been helping my keeper out of his gear the kids had already gathered together, done our usual tradition of cheering the other team's name, and were shaking hands. The dad may not get it, but the twins picked up great sportsmanship somewhere, they shook every players' hand and went out of their way to shake mine and congratulate us. I stood there listening as both teams mixed together and congratulated each other, not just on the win, but on specific plays or highlights. Gave me that warm fuzzy feeling that yes, the kids are learning the important part of the game.

[classicman]

OMG - That is terrible, just terrible.

[classicman]

Good for you dude - great attitude - the kids are feeding off it and learning a lot more thqan just futball, they are learning life lessons! You should be very of not only the fine young players on your team, but also yourself.