I have always admired people who are genuinely social

[Undertoad]

As introverted as I can be, I enjoy public speaking and acting and playing bass unabashedly on stage.

The difference is this: I'm fine once I'm given a role to play, but if I have to just freelance, forget it.

[Juniper]

I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. Sometimes I feel like I've got a split personality, extrovert vs. introvert, social vs. unsociable. You just never know what you're gonna get with me.

My husband has called me "socially inept." That really pissed me off, because at the time I was perfectly happy being a hermit. I've been a stay-at-home mom since 1998, and it's really hard to make real-life friends when you never GO anywhere. So most of my friends were his friends--great people but I wouldn't call 'em up to chat. Though he's always tried to get me to do that, at least with the women. We get along great at parties, but I can't make myself just call them.

Actually I can't remember just calling someone to talk for a very long time--not since I had my friend Maria from high school and a few years beyond, not since she and I parted ways in 1990. I kind of miss it. I've tried to make friends since then, but I always worry--is this a bad time? Do they really want me to do this or are they just saying to do it? Why don't THEY call ME?

But I am a writer. I am also a prolific discussion board poster. (well I go through phases.) So I guess in some ways I'm extroverted, or at least an attention whore. If you're a writer, doesn't that mean at some level you want people to understand you and interact with you?

But I'm changing. I'm trying to get out more, do business networking, socialize with people I met at school (HELLOOOO Brianna!!!!)

I dunno what happened but sometime this year a switch was flipped and I suddenly became Ms. Social Butterfly. I go to these events and I smile and approach people and laugh and am just a happy camper. I know just what to say, what to do, I empathize with people who look nervous. I've just decided to have FUN. Be myself. Because I'm awesome.

Hubby says it's the degree.

Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's just that I'm fuckin' 42 years old so what the hell am I waiting for? Someone to rescue me? What do I have to lose? Time's running out. They don't like me? To hell with 'em.

But I'm also happier than I've ever been in my life. I think that inner glow comes through, somehow, which makes people like me more, which makes me happier, which . . . you get it.

OTOH, once I'm done, I need time ALONE. It wears me out. I need to recharge.

But it's fun.

Except that not everybody is ready for the new me. I took the new me to a party a couple weeks ago and now the kids are spreading a rumor that I was totally trashed because, why? I was laughing and dancing and singing along with the music, having a wonderful time instead of just standing there holding up the wall, you know? No, I'm just high on my mid-life crisis, thanks!

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

The difference is this: I'm fine once I'm given a role to play, but if I have to just freelance, forget it.

Exactly! Now all you have to do is build in your mind the role of the confident, suave, socially savvy man, and play that guy whenever you go out. Give him a fake life story and everything. (But don't tell people that life story when you're playing this role, because that's called pathological lying and it's frowned upon. Just let it inform the character.) Don't say what Undertoad would say, play the character the way He would say it. Eventually that character could be named Social Undertoad, and you could be able to turn him on and off at will.

[Shawnee123]

I could emcee scholarship banquets with wit and eloquence. I could teach classes and earn the respect and admiration of the students. I can talk to students for 10 hours in a row and do a damn good job.

I hate every single minute of it, deep inside.

In social situations, I can hold my own. Give me a couple brewskis and I have everyone rolling, but is that "me" or another version of "me"? Is my introversion hidden by the beer, or is my extroversion enhanced by the beer?

To be fair, I can be completely social without alcohol, and have a good time, but just as often I'd rather be home with my nose in a book.

Master Thespian.

(new user title)

[Sundae]

I couldn't work out why my post was different to other people's.
I just felt it was.
I reread it.
And then I realised something I already knew.
It's not the difference between extrovert or introvert to me; it's whether people like me or not.

No-one else has based their action on other people's reaction. After all, that wasn't the point.
With me, it's pretty much my only factor.

That's sad.

[Cloud]

people like people who like them. i.e., the love you take is equal to the love you make.

[HungLikeJesus]

Clone thread:
I have always admired people who are genuinely socialist

[monster]

Label me, people! Introvert or Extrovert? Sociable or Unsociable? tell me your impressions then I'll tell you how they match up to my perceptions of the real monster......

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Exactly! Now all you have to do is build in your mind the role of the confident, suave, socially savvy man, and play that guy whenever you go out. ... Eventually that character could be named Social Undertoad, and you could be able to turn him on and off at will.

Originally Posted by monster

Label me, people! Introvert or Extrovert? Sociable or Unsociable? tell me your impressions then I'll tell you how they match up to my perceptions of the real monster......

I'd guess that you're fundamentally an introvert with the ability to turn it on and present as an extrovert upon the first pressing (without having to warm up) into a social situation much as Clod suggests above. I classify those who can will themselves (opposed to doing it naturally) to turn it on upon the first pressing as Extravirginverts.

People will find you socially acceptable whether you choose to be sociable or unsociable with them; because, they'll figure you did so by choice rather than inhibition.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by monster

Label me, people! Introvert or Extrovert? Sociable or Unsociable? tell me your impressions then I'll tell you how they match up to my perceptions of the real monster......

Unsociable extrovert. You don't give a damn what people think of you, and you'll tell it to everybody you meet.

I'm not a "starter". In a group of "unfamiliars", I can hold my own when someone else starts the conversation, but I freeze up when I have to lead. I have a friend who can start talking to anyone. He's the master ice-breaker.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Never seeing no one nice again like you...

[DanaC]

Oh! Do me, do me!

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Oh! Do me, do me!

careful with that, Dana

Sundae - I don't think you are giving yourself enough credit.

[Stormieweather]

Sometimes I'm in the mood to chat and sometimes, I'm not. A lot of it depends on who I'm around and the venue. I'm perfectly content to sit alone and people-watch, but also, if in the mood and the location is right, to engage with one or a crowd and get rowdy.

[skysidhe]

You seem like a well rounded healthy individual Stormie.