Loneliness is about twice as dangerous as obesity

[Flint]

Bruce, what is your problem? This break up happened six months ago. I'm here to share how, as an individual, I'm struggling to move forward, even if by cobbling together some kind of positive self image out of duct tape and superficial attributes. You're way the fuck off in left field trying to diagnose a relationship that is dead and buried. We went to counseling and worked through this shit as best as we could. We are big boys and girls, we don't need your pop psychology diagnosis, so please just drop it. Will someone validate his desire to appear perceptive and insightful, so he won't feel the need to continue?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Six months later claiming, I wuz robbed, means you don't get it. So just ignore me and keep seeking affirmation of your victimhood.

[infinite monkey]

Originally Posted by Flint

Bruce, what is your problem? This break up happened six months ago. I'm here to share how, as an individual, I'm struggling to move forward, even if by cobbling together some kind of positive self image out of duct tape and superficial attributes. You're way the fuck off in left field trying to diagnose a relationship that is dead and buried. We went to counseling and worked through this shit as best as we could. We are big boys and girls, we don't need your pop psychology diagnosis, so please just drop it. Will someone validate his desire to appear perceptive and insightful, so he won't feel the need to continue?

Can't validate it, he's a bitter old asshole, projecting his many failed relationships on your one and current situation...pretending he's so forgiving and that he takes on the burden of responsibility in his relationships.

He hasn't spoken to me in years. I consider myself lucky. There were times I tried to crawl up like the injured pet he likes to believe women are, and I was ignored. Because, you see, it was all MY fault our friendship blew to pieces. Personal responsibility my ass.

Now ignore him and listen to what others have to say. We care.

[lumberjim]

I remember very clearly, an image of a couple walking out of Walmart, smiling at each other and laughing. They were very unattractive. They were People of Walmart.

But this was during the time when I was reeling. When my world exploded. When I was alone. And I thought, "these toothless paupers are able to be happy just to be together."

Neither one of them has what you or I have going for us. Why couldn't I manage to keep my wife happy. As much as I pampered her, and provided a life of ease.... It was not enough. Or it was too much.... Whatever it was, just being together and loving each other was not enough for her.

The hard thing to accept is that you can't understand her motivation. You can't because you don't have her brain. You probably never will.

I won't say time heals all wounds. Fuck that. Suffer this. Feel all of it. Just don't let it ruin you. There is time enough to love again. No hurry. Get yourself back inside yourself for now.
You were there for me when I went through this. You call me any time. Both of you.

[Flint]

I read somewhere that the best way to know if you can trust someone is to trust them. I tried that, and, yes, it worked. I never held her back, I supported her all the way. She took the ball and ran with it, it was a total game winning touchdown for her. All made possible by me not being possessive, not being jealous --doing everything by the book. I set her free and she didn't come back. But she didn't leave. She stayed and tortured me with it, because she didn't know herself and she doesn't understand how human feelings work--in a blind spot centered right around herself.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Flint

I read somewhere that the best way to know if you can trust someone is to trust them. I tried that, and, yes, it worked.

One way to know if you can't trust someone is, also, to trust them.

I tried that, and, yes, that worked, too.

She cannot be trusted.

[lumberjim]

Well shit. I didn't realize there was infidelity going on. That's a jagged pill. I'm sorry man. I wish I could offer some pertinent advice to help.

[Flint]

Admittedly she is better at explaining this part, but, see, it wasn't infidelity, she was just sleeping in the same bed with another man while I was out of town, telling me we were still together, and then waiting until I moved back home to tell me it's over, and oops she might already be in another relationship, accidentally. But that's not infidelity, that's just me being an asshole for no reason. Totally different thing. See, it sounds crazy when I say it. Sorry, I'm not as good at explaining things as she is.

[DanaC]

Christ on a bike, Flint, that sounds horrible. I have no sage advice I'm afraid - but am thinking of you with kindness nonetheless.

[infinite monkey]

I'm sorry Flint.

I don't know your pain, but I know 'the' pain, and it sticks with some of us. As jim said, don't let it ruin you.

Geez, just what a shitty situation. Vent here if you can or want to.

[glatt]

Wow, Flint. I'm sorry. What an unexpected blow.

[Undertoad]

Well, you got us. That's something.

[limey]

That sounds terrible, Flint. How I got through the worst of times for me was to say to myself "this is awful, it feels like shit, and hurts worse than anything I've ever lived through, but I will get over it." You will, too. And, as UT says, you have us.


Sent by thought transference

[Undertoad]

It seems impossible to believe now, but in a year, give or take six months, you will be having amazingly good times.

mark it down

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

It seems impossible to believe now, but in a year, give or take six months, you will be having amazingly good times.

mark it down

True dat.

It's bizarre really, how much negative stuff just goes under the radar for years - then once you get past the heart-wrenchingly shitty break up you realise how much you really don't miss this or that aspect.