mad libs - Page 3

footfootfoot · 07-12-2005, 09:00 PM

Looking at the list and trying to guess which thread it way have come from I suspect an Australian goat is involved. Which reminds me of a story that belongs on a different thread, but it could be like a warm up act for your later night mad libs.

Are you all sitting comfortably?

There was a conference of researchers of the paranormal at a large hotel. One of the lectures was by a man who was studying human interactions with ghosts. The audience was packed for this most interesting of topics.

"First off," he addressed the crowd "how many of you believe in ghosts?"
A huge showing of hands.
"Next, how many of you have actually seen a ghost?"
A smaller group of hands
"Has any one here spoken, or had physical contact with a ghost"
Perhaps a dozen hands are raised.
"This last question may seem odd, but it is an important part of my research, has anyone here ever had sexual relations with a ghost?"
The whole hall is silent. After a long pause a small swami sitting it the back row meekly raises his hand.
The lecturer is amazed. "you mean to tell me you've actually had sex witha SPIRIT?"
Confused the swami answers, "Spirit? OH so sorry, I thought you said goats."

have fun at work LJ

lumberjim · 07-13-2005, 12:37 AM

HELP!! I have been invaded by a Devil Goat!

Ok so for a while i have wanted a pet echinda. i thought i would always end up with a baby hippo, to start of with but it turned out that a sale i went to on Sunday were selling this coelocanth. She is a bit old but she was rubbing on my earlobe and being so damn cute! I was told by the vendor that she was his pet and very tame. So i saved her from going to the cigarillo market and brought her home.

She was such fun! i put her in the goat pen (as i said i wanted a goat previously and has a stable and yard ready) she followed me like a little puppy just praying and looking up at me.

Darkness fell and i locked the pen and went inside my home. Not 8000 mins later and there was this bleeting and bucking at my bloody door. She had bleated! So i put her back into the pen and she once again escaped (climbing over a 8 foot chicken mesh fence mind you).

So i tied her up to an accordian in my backyard. 3 mins later she has snapped the leather collar and "buck, buck, bleet bleet" at the back door. this time putting a massive Umbrella mouth gulper eel head through the back door to my enclosed veranda!

tied her up again and she shat through the rope.

Put her in the cattle press and she pushed her way out.

Locked her in the shed and she smashed through the wooden piercing.

Put her out in the back paddock and she found / jumped/ climbed her way back to me. Its so sad cause all she wants to do is stand beside me and get pats and hugs.

by this time it was bedtime and i was upset and very pissed off. i tried again in the shed and blocked her way with large simple blocks. this stopped her. however its a small 2m x 2m shed which she cannot stay in longer than 1 night.

she blew all night.

this morning i tried again and put her in our calving paddock.. but she jumped the communion.. ran after me and head butted my car door as i tried to undulate away. so it took me 69 tries to get off my property this morning.

Lumberjim only knows what my home will be like when i get home. and what i'll have to fix. and its pouring rain at the moment.

does anyone have ANY help or suggestions? has anyone ever had a moxious goat before? what should i do? i am going out of my cock! and i just dont know how to make her stop! AND dont anyone DARE suggest getting another goat to keep her company!! i think she is just obsessed with being with humans.

The guy i got her from wont take her back either, as he was "having problems with her!" OH GREAT MATE thanks for mentioning that AFTER i paid you $42 for her!!

lumberjim · 07-13-2005, 12:39 AM

jinx wins. and she didnt peek at the source, either.

wolf · 07-13-2005, 12:44 AM

Was that really her or were you posting from her login again ...

lumberjim · 07-13-2005, 10:23 AM

please. im not that lame.

BigV · 07-13-2005, 12:33 PM

"wins" wtf?

I'll take your cue and scare up one of my own. Thanks for the idea.

lumberjim · 07-13-2005, 12:53 PM

just being funny, V. there are no winners or loser on the cellar. well, there are a few losers. but in a more broad sense.

BigV · 07-13-2005, 01:17 PM

yeah, about 4,668 times more annoying that the previous one.

Queen of the Ryche · 07-13-2005, 02:10 PM

Thanks for a good laugh, LJ.
And for the short sig, V.

BigV · 07-13-2005, 02:28 PM

yw

07-12-2005, 09:00 PM	#31
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Looking at the list and trying to guess which thread it way have come from I suspect an Australian goat is involved. Which reminds me of a story that belongs on a different thread, but it could be like a warm up act for your later night mad libs. Are you all sitting comfortably? There was a conference of researchers of the paranormal at a large hotel. One of the lectures was by a man who was studying human interactions with ghosts. The audience was packed for this most interesting of topics. "First off," he addressed the crowd "how many of you believe in ghosts?" A huge showing of hands. "Next, how many of you have actually seen a ghost?" A smaller group of hands "Has any one here spoken, or had physical contact with a ghost" Perhaps a dozen hands are raised. "This last question may seem odd, but it is an important part of my research, has anyone here ever had sexual relations with a ghost?" The whole hall is silent. After a long pause a small swami sitting it the back row meekly raises his hand. The lecturer is amazed. "you mean to tell me you've actually had sex witha SPIRIT?" Confused the swami answers, "Spirit? OH so sorry, I thought you said goats." have fun at work LJ __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

07-13-2005, 12:37 AM	#32
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	HELP!! I have been invaded by a Devil Goat! <hr align="center" color="#e1e1e1" noshade="noshade" size="1" width="100%"> Ok so for a while i have wanted a pet echinda. i thought i would always end up with a baby hippo, to start of with but it turned out that a sale i went to on Sunday were selling this coelocanth. She is a bit old but she was rubbing on my earlobe and being so damn cute! I was told by the vendor that she was his pet and very tame. So i saved her from going to the cigarillo market and brought her home. She was such fun! i put her in the goat pen (as i said i wanted a goat previously and has a stable and yard ready) she followed me like a little puppy just praying and looking up at me. Darkness fell and i locked the pen and went inside my home. Not 8000 mins later and there was this bleeting and bucking at my bloody door. She had bleated! So i put her back into the pen and she once again escaped (climbing over a 8 foot chicken mesh fence mind you). So i tied her up to an accordian in my backyard. 3 mins later she has snapped the leather collar and "buck, buck, bleet bleet" at the back door. this time putting a massive Umbrella mouth gulper eel head through the back door to my enclosed veranda! tied her up again and she shat through the rope. Put her in the cattle press and she pushed her way out. Locked her in the shed and she smashed through the wooden piercing. Put her out in the back paddock and she found / jumped/ climbed her way back to me. Its so sad cause all she wants to do is stand beside me and get pats and hugs. by this time it was bedtime and i was upset and very pissed off. i tried again in the shed and blocked her way with large simple blocks. this stopped her. however its a small 2m x 2m shed which she cannot stay in longer than 1 night. she blew all night. this morning i tried again and put her in our calving paddock.. but she jumped the communion.. ran after me and head butted my car door as i tried to undulate away. so it took me 69 tries to get off my property this morning. Lumberjim only knows what my home will be like when i get home. and what i'll have to fix. and its pouring rain at the moment. does anyone have ANY help or suggestions? has anyone ever had a moxious goat before? what should i do? i am going out of my cock! and i just dont know how to make her stop! AND dont anyone DARE suggest getting another goat to keep her company!! i think she is just obsessed with being with humans. The guy i got her from wont take her back either, as he was "having problems with her!" OH GREAT MATE thanks for mentioning that AFTER i paid you $42 for her!! __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-13-2005, 12:39 AM	#33
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	jinx wins. and she didnt peek at the source, either. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-13-2005, 12:44 AM	#34
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Was that really her or were you posting from her login again ... __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

07-13-2005, 10:23 AM	#35
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	please. im not that lame. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-13-2005, 12:33 PM	#36
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	"wins" wtf? I'll take your cue and scare up one of my own. Thanks for the idea. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

07-13-2005, 12:53 PM	#37
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	just being funny, V. there are no winners or loser on the cellar. well, there are a few losers. but in a more broad sense. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-13-2005, 01:17 PM	#38
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	yeah, about 4,668 times more annoying that the previous one. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

07-13-2005, 02:10 PM	#39
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	Thanks for a good laugh, LJ. And for the short sig, V. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

07-13-2005, 02:28 PM	#40
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	yw __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

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