Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 34

wolf · 09-01-2005, 01:17 PM

Guy in the chair will be there for <15 minutes ... this joke might also work for "guy at the end of the line," but since he would be the most likely candidate to be sent to go follow the dude, and the joke wouldn't be as funny if it ended in a double murder and suicide, it's got to be the barber's wife that's getting it on with the questioner.

Oh, and the Coyote thing? Loved it. Especially being one who walks with coyote.

zippyt · 09-01-2005, 01:23 PM

I didn't think it was THAT complicated !!!!

wolf · 09-01-2005, 01:29 PM

It wasn't, which I why I'm so amused by the number of people who <strike>think</strike> thought they were very smart who didn't get it.

BrianR · 09-01-2005, 04:49 PM

I got it right away. What does that make me? No, wait! Don't answer that!

Cyclefrance · 09-01-2005, 05:34 PM

Hang on, now! It could be Bill who's going to the barber's house. You know what they say about trusting a friend. Great opportunity to lay the blame on some guy that nobody knows, who genuinely wants a haircut but only has a few minutes to spare each time. Yeah, the more I think about it the more I'm convincing myself that it is Bill who is going to the barber's house. Neat!

Kagen4o4 · 09-01-2005, 07:21 PM

i thought it was all about a government conspiracy to do with aliens being experimented on in the barbers house without his knowledge. i thought it was funny.

but seriously i got it straight away

LabRat · 09-07-2005, 09:21 AM

I posted this in the parenting thread, but also here for those who don't frequent it. Made me laugh out loud.

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her
>>>>>5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living
>>>>>room.
>>>>>
>>>>>She heard the train stop and her son saying,
>>>>>"All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now ..
>>>>>cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are
>>>>>getting on, get your asses in the train ... cause we're going down
>>>>>the tracks."
>>>>>
>>>>>The horrified mother went in and told her son,
>>>>>"We don't use that kind of language in this house.
>>>>>Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO
>>>>>HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train ... but I
>>>>>want you to use nice language."
>>>>>
>>>>>Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed
>>>>>playing with his train.
>>>>>
>>>>>Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say ... "All
>>>>>passengers, please remember your things, thank you, and hope your
>>>>>trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.
>>>>>"She heard her little darling continue .."For those of you just
>>>>>boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you
>>>>>will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
>>>>>
>>>>>As the mother began to smile, the child added,
>>>>>"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay,
>>>>>please see the bitch in the kitchen .."

LabRat · 09-07-2005, 09:26 AM

Oh, and thanks for the head's up about the barber joke, cute now that I get it. Was that 'people who think they're so smart' comment directed at me??

Or am I being paranoid? I fully admit I have no clue about a whole heck of a lot of stuff, which is why I hang out here. (to learn, not be with other dummies)

plthijinx · 09-09-2005, 09:13 AM

BigV · 09-09-2005, 11:48 AM

you are so..... bad. :snort!:

bargalunan · 09-09-2005, 12:10 PM

So realistic

Hoping the fish is polluted

09-09-2005, 12:51 PM

And for those of you with a Welsh heritage:

One day the King of England was out riding with his army through the Welsh countryside. Suddenly a Welshman popped out from behind a thicket and yelled, "One Welshman is worth two Englishmen!" The King laughed and sent two of his best men into the thicket after the Welshman. After a brief wait, the Welshman stuck his head out of the thicket again and shouted, "One Welshman is worth 10 Englishmen!" Feeling somewhat irritated, the king ordered 10 of his men into the thicket. A short while later, the Welshman again came out and announced, "One Welshman is worth a hundred Englishmen!" With a curse, the King ordered 100 of his best soldiers into the thicket. Sometime later, a single English soldier, nearly dead from the beating he had taken, crawled from the thicket and exclaimed, "Your Majesty, its a trap! There are TWO of them in there!"

bargalunan · 09-09-2005, 12:35 PM

Donkey

BigV · 09-09-2005, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bargalunan

Donkey

Ahhh, you wanted to say ass, actually. Or pyg, if you hang out with UG. But please don't say:

cause he's really (really) a:

Or...maybe this--it would explain the postition of the book.

09-09-2005, 02:16 PM

Do not take the name "ass" in vain! I happen to be part Welsh!

(love the dead elephant by the way - wonder when they're gonna get around to hauling it out of the White House!)

09-01-2005, 01:17 PM	#1
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Guy in the chair will be there for <15 minutes ... this joke might also work for "guy at the end of the line," but since he would be the most likely candidate to be sent to go follow the dude, and the joke wouldn't be as funny if it ended in a double murder and suicide, it's got to be the barber's wife that's getting it on with the questioner. Oh, and the Coyote thing? Loved it. Especially being one who walks with coyote. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-01-2005, 01:23 PM	#2
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	I didn't think it was THAT complicated !!!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

09-01-2005, 01:29 PM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	It wasn't, which I why I'm so amused by the number of people who <strike>think</strike> thought they were very smart who didn't get it. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-01-2005, 04:49 PM	#4
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	I got it right away. What does that make me? No, wait! Don't answer that! __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

09-01-2005, 05:34 PM	#5
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	Hang on, now! It could be Bill who's going to the barber's house. You know what they say about trusting a friend. Great opportunity to lay the blame on some guy that nobody knows, who genuinely wants a haircut but only has a few minutes to spare each time. Yeah, the more I think about it the more I'm convincing myself that it is Bill who is going to the barber's house. Neat! __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears

09-01-2005, 07:21 PM	#6
Kagen4o4 The Sheriff of Nothingland Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Melbourne, Aus Posts: 1,794	i thought it was all about a government conspiracy to do with aliens being experimented on in the barbers house without his knowledge. i thought it was funny. but seriously i got it straight away

09-07-2005, 09:21 AM	#7
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	I posted this in the parenting thread, but also here for those who don't frequent it. Made me laugh out loud. A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her >>>>>5-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living >>>>>room. >>>>> >>>>>She heard the train stop and her son saying, >>>>>"All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now .. >>>>>cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are >>>>>getting on, get your asses in the train ... cause we're going down >>>>>the tracks." >>>>> >>>>>The horrified mother went in and told her son, >>>>>"We don't use that kind of language in this house. >>>>>Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO >>>>>HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train ... but I >>>>>want you to use nice language." >>>>> >>>>>Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed >>>>>playing with his train. >>>>> >>>>>Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say ... "All >>>>>passengers, please remember your things, thank you, and hope your >>>>>trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. >>>>>"She heard her little darling continue .."For those of you just >>>>>boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you >>>>>will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." >>>>> >>>>>As the mother began to smile, the child added, >>>>>"For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, >>>>>please see the bitch in the kitchen .." __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

09-07-2005, 09:26 AM	#8
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	Oh, and thanks for the head's up about the barber joke, cute now that I get it. Was that 'people who think they're so smart' comment directed at me?? Or am I being paranoid? I fully admit I have no clue about a whole heck of a lot of stuff, which is why I hang out here. (to learn, not be with other dummies) __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

09-09-2005, 09:13 AM	#9
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	Bush on Vacation Attached Images __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

09-09-2005, 11:48 AM	#10
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	you are so..... bad. :snort!: __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

09-09-2005, 12:10 PM	#11
bargalunan Abecedarian Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nantes (France) Posts: 175	So realistic Hoping the fish is polluted

09-09-2005, 12:51 PM	#12
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	And for those of you with a Welsh heritage: One day the King of England was out riding with his army through the Welsh countryside. Suddenly a Welshman popped out from behind a thicket and yelled, "One Welshman is worth two Englishmen!" The King laughed and sent two of his best men into the thicket after the Welshman. After a brief wait, the Welshman stuck his head out of the thicket again and shouted, "One Welshman is worth 10 Englishmen!" Feeling somewhat irritated, the king ordered 10 of his men into the thicket. A short while later, the Welshman again came out and announced, "One Welshman is worth a hundred Englishmen!" With a curse, the King ordered 100 of his best soldiers into the thicket. Sometime later, a single English soldier, nearly dead from the beating he had taken, crawled from the thicket and exclaimed, "Your Majesty, its a trap! There are TWO of them in there!"

09-09-2005, 12:35 PM	#13
bargalunan Abecedarian Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nantes (France) Posts: 175	Donkey Attached Images

09-09-2005, 02:16 PM	#15
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	Do not take the name "ass" in vain! I happen to be part Welsh! (love the dead elephant by the way - wonder when they're gonna get around to hauling it out of the White House!)

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