Questions of human nature

[xoxoxoBruce]

Not that long ago women couldn't vote. Not that long before that, women couldn't even own property in many societies. Historically, men have controlled power and wealth.
Women's primary bargaining chip for security/survival has been sex and the promise of heirs that comes from it.

So while your friend may sound a little Neanderthalish, his premise is based on solid foundations.

[Griff]

I think that is a dynamic that is shifting a little bit. As a Dad, I'm more concerned that my girls be happy than rich. That means they have to like themselves and be, if not self-sufficient, at least able before partnering for life. My own relationship is far more equal than what you're describing. People choose their lives either consciously or by not choosing (insert Rush lyric). There are still girls who want to go the "whore" route and my daughters criticize them to no end, for not controlling their own lives, but living to be attached to some dumb jock at school. I think the best relationships look like partnerships and I've given my girls that expectation.

[Lola Bunny]

Originally Posted by classicman

He is an asshole and needs a mental readjustment via a cuntpunt.

Hahahahahhaha.....Thank you, Classicman. This made me smile.

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

So while your friend may sound a little Neanderthalish, his premise is based on solid foundations.

Thank you for yours and others' comment. I'm not really upset at my friend's viewpoint because he was just being honest while not being totally rude with me when he shared his opinions; I was just surprised. My friend also believes that in the family, the man leads and has the final decision and say. His idea of compromise in a relationship is that he will listen to his wife's opinions, then he will make his decision. I wished him luck on finding a woman although I did rudely tell him that I don't think he'll have any lasting relationships.

The reason why I was so hurt is that I realized why I was treated in a certain why. I must've acted so inappropriately to be viewed so lowly. With an exception of one, I have never received gifts from a man that I didn't reciprocate accordingly. And to some, I gave the gifts and never received any back. Frankly, I usually give a gift back even with women.

Anyways, I've calmed down now. Actually, I waited until I was less upset to post the question. Well, at least I now know how many men generally view women, and I can act accordingly. If a particular man is just a jerk who doesn't know how to treat a woman right, then that's his damn fault.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Historically, attitude and actions get passed down father to son. Usually they are modified by each generation, but sometimes in cases like your friend, they are 100 years behind. It will prove to be his lose. It's not you Lola, it's him that's fucked up.

Oh, and smart, happy people like Griff, are slightly ahead of the curve.

[Lola Bunny]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Historically, attitude and actions get passed down father to son. Usually they are modified by each generation, but sometimes in cases like your friend, they are 100 years behind. It will prove to be his lose. It's not you Lola, it's him that's fucked up.

Oh, and smart, happy people like Griff, are slightly ahead of the curve.

He feels that way because he's had bad experiences with women in the past and is still surrounded by women who take what they can. And his "I'm the MAN" attitude is derived by his religious beliefs. Oh yeah....very true. Many of our conversations usually end with "we agree to disagree." Hey, at least he thinks I'm one of the few left who has integrity. That's why we're still good friends.

[Sundae]

I briefly dated a man who in conversation came across as a woman-hater, because he felt he'd been badly treated by his ex.

Outside of his long rambling monologues, he was reasonably normal and treated most of the women in his life with respect. Oh except that he had a breast fixation and honestly seemed to value a woman more as her cup size increased. He had a close female friend whom he genuinely seemed to adore, but sadly she was only a B cup. WTF?!

All a bit too nutty for my tastes.

I hope he found someone of a large enough cupsize (and preferably deaf) to make him happy.

[it]

the human brain groups objects in our environment based on our expirience and interactions with them. if your straight or tends towards it, everyone who has ever hurt you romantically is going to be from the oopposite gender. man-hating & women-hating is just a natural result of human wiring. you are you can either be very lucky in relationships, pretend it isn't happening in your brain for social expectation's sake (political correctness), or be aware of it enough to question any resulting assumptions before you use them to make a judgement call.

as for prefering good looking women, their have being many experiments showing that everyone does it: an attractive woman in distress is more likely to get help from both man and other women then someone who isn't.
there are even studies that use it as an economical symptom - attractive waiters. when the economy is good employers are less deductive about who they hire and are more likely to hire and advance better looking people (both males and females), but when it goes bad and they look at who's critical and who isn't, skills come at first place - and while it can easily correspond with attractive people - a lot of those that got their job simply for being attractive will be the first one to loose it. the result is a lot of attractive people in entry level service jobs, where attractiveness brings customers.

its just natural - society is made out of people that are more attracted to people who attract them - there's no need for a leap of logic, we're just much much shallower in instinct then society told us we are awe to be.