Sermon on the Handicapped

Ibby · 02-07-2007, 09:24 PM

Friends, brothers and sisters in Jesus, I am here before you today to talk about the deepest threat to our Christian nation in this day and age. They walk among us like men, but sure as Jesus’ love, they are beasts, abominations before the holy lord! They demand equal treatment, equal rights, and equal accommodation; our holy Christian nation can do none of these, or be damned in the eyes of the lord! They are given free passage throughout our holy land; they are even put in holy government office!

They have activists and supporters in all fields, godless liberal supporters, funding research and things both to help them and to try to legitimize their positions in society. But listen not to them, children! Listen not! No TRUE Christian could possibly justify even speaking to these abominations, these half-men, these deemed unworthy in the holy name of Jesus!

I have even, on occasion, heard tell of people who go around speaking about their ‘condition’, trying to inspire and help others with the same. These people, these revolutionary activists, should be arrested! They are spreading dissent and anti-Christian views, and Christian views are the ONLY important views in America! The majority should always dictate what the minority can and can not do!

My friends, this kind of worthless tolerance and freedom can not stand, in the name of all that is holy under Jesus! I talk not of the vile shellfish-eaters, or the awful polyester-wearers, or the abominable cattle-drivers who mix their cows; I talk not of the godless atheists whom we should stone, not of the barbaric heathens, or the witches; I speak of those who are handicapped; those who are not whole in the eyes of the lord! For lo, the bible forbids them from approaching God, for in the word of the LORD God, “Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries.” We must shun these people from society; they must not be allowed to marry and pass on their foul blemishes! In the words of God Himself,
“For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.”

“But Reverend!” you may cry, “It’s only one verse!” But that is no excuse for not following god’s will! I will hold no truck with arguments about the new testament overruling that, or petty ‘love thy neighbor’ arguments, or the godless ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ of the atheists, or lies about ‘equality’ and ‘human rights’; or, worst of all, lies about mythical ‘first amendments’ or ‘freedom of religion’! We are a Holy Christian Nation, and we as Christians have the freedom not to have to accept, legitimize, coddle to these handicapped! Why, to accept them now would fundamentally alter the structure of society, and America could never cope with that! We must keep society intact, not corrupt it with so-called ‘advances’ like abolition, womens’ rights, desegregation… all against the bible, all infringing on the freedom of our almighty Christians!

People claim that the true core of Christianity should be ‘love thy neighbor’, but how wrong they are! The true core of Christianity is and always has been absolute following of the bible, word for word, where is furthers the needs of those who hold power in the church; some verses, admittedly, are wrong, such as that one about “rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar’s”, or the one about “treating others as you wish to be treated”, but friends, throughout the whole Bible, time and time again, the message is clear – punish those that are different, regardless of contradictions!

Friends, this is the sacred duty of all of us to protect the institution of health! The only way we can protect the health, both spiritual and physical, of our people is to refuse to grant freedom and rights, and most importantly treatment, the health we want to protect, to those without it! They should be shunned, denied rights, even killed, for the only way to truly follow Jesus’ great message is to hate and judge those that are not the same as yourself! The only way to truly follow His message like a good Christian is to ignore those parts of it that do not support the Church! The Church, and the preaching of local Church leaders, should always come before petty things like the Bible or God’s Word or Belief or Love.

lumberjim · 02-08-2007, 12:08 AM

if you love hard cheese, it's no good asking for cake.

skysidhe · 02-08-2007, 08:41 AM

You need not to go to those bad places Ibram.

Ibby · 02-08-2007, 07:16 PM

...What?

xoxoxoBruce · 02-08-2007, 09:28 PM

Quote:

“Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries.”

He's talking about tattoos, dumb ass.

skysidhe · 02-08-2007, 09:32 PM

I couldn't even tolerate reading the whole thing. I read snippets. It makes my stomach turn. It's garbage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

He's talking about tattoos, dumb ass.

Ibby · 02-09-2007, 01:16 AM

Garbage? Someone has no appreciation for satire, quality nonwithstanding.

DanaC · 02-09-2007, 03:35 AM

Ibram, I thought that was really good.

Ibby · 02-09-2007, 04:54 AM

Thank you, dana, at least SOMEONE likes it...

DanaC · 02-09-2007, 03:22 PM

I think perhaps it's a little too good :P Someone stumbling onto it who wasn't aware of your views/personality may easily think it serious hehe.
You have hit just the right tone, got just the right emphasis.

Ibby · 02-09-2007, 08:09 PM

oh man, I tried to make it a little too ridiculous to really be genuine, but... I guess theres no such thing as too ridiculous anymore.

DanaC · 02-10-2007, 01:05 PM

When it comes to uber-xtians or neo-cons one cannot be too ridiculous. It took me months to work out that UG wasn't actually parodying the right.

Phil · 02-10-2007, 02:05 PM

very insightful. reminded me of Landover Baptist.

skysidhe · 02-10-2007, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibram

oh man, I tried to make it a little too ridiculous to really be genuine, but... I guess theres no such thing as too ridiculous anymore.

oh, boy. You wrote this??

Ibby · 02-11-2007, 07:17 PM

Which explains why its in creative expression...

02-07-2007, 09:24 PM	#1
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Sermon on the Handicapped Friends, brothers and sisters in Jesus, I am here before you today to talk about the deepest threat to our Christian nation in this day and age. They walk among us like men, but sure as Jesus’ love, they are beasts, abominations before the holy lord! They demand equal treatment, equal rights, and equal accommodation; our holy Christian nation can do none of these, or be damned in the eyes of the lord! They are given free passage throughout our holy land; they are even put in holy government office! They have activists and supporters in all fields, godless liberal supporters, funding research and things both to help them and to try to legitimize their positions in society. But listen not to them, children! Listen not! No TRUE Christian could possibly justify even speaking to these abominations, these half-men, these deemed unworthy in the holy name of Jesus! I have even, on occasion, heard tell of people who go around speaking about their ‘condition’, trying to inspire and help others with the same. These people, these revolutionary activists, should be arrested! They are spreading dissent and anti-Christian views, and Christian views are the ONLY important views in America! The majority should always dictate what the minority can and can not do! My friends, this kind of worthless tolerance and freedom can not stand, in the name of all that is holy under Jesus! I talk not of the vile shellfish-eaters, or the awful polyester-wearers, or the abominable cattle-drivers who mix their cows; I talk not of the godless atheists whom we should stone, not of the barbaric heathens, or the witches; I speak of those who are handicapped; those who are not whole in the eyes of the lord! For lo, the bible forbids them from approaching God, for in the word of the LORD God, “Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries.” We must shun these people from society; they must not be allowed to marry and pass on their foul blemishes! In the words of God Himself, “For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.” “But Reverend!” you may cry, “It’s only one verse!” But that is no excuse for not following god’s will! I will hold no truck with arguments about the new testament overruling that, or petty ‘love thy neighbor’ arguments, or the godless ‘logic’ and ‘reason’ of the atheists, or lies about ‘equality’ and ‘human rights’; or, worst of all, lies about mythical ‘first amendments’ or ‘freedom of religion’! We are a Holy Christian Nation, and we as Christians have the freedom not to have to accept, legitimize, coddle to these handicapped! Why, to accept them now would fundamentally alter the structure of society, and America could never cope with that! We must keep society intact, not corrupt it with so-called ‘advances’ like abolition, womens’ rights, desegregation… all against the bible, all infringing on the freedom of our almighty Christians! People claim that the true core of Christianity should be ‘love thy neighbor’, but how wrong they are! The true core of Christianity is and always has been absolute following of the bible, word for word, where is furthers the needs of those who hold power in the church; some verses, admittedly, are wrong, such as that one about “rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar’s”, or the one about “treating others as you wish to be treated”, but friends, throughout the whole Bible, time and time again, the message is clear – punish those that are different, regardless of contradictions! Friends, this is the sacred duty of all of us to protect the institution of health! The only way we can protect the health, both spiritual and physical, of our people is to refuse to grant freedom and rights, and most importantly treatment, the health we want to protect, to those without it! They should be shunned, denied rights, even killed, for the only way to truly follow Jesus’ great message is to hate and judge those that are not the same as yourself! The only way to truly follow His message like a good Christian is to ignore those parts of it that do not support the Church! The Church, and the preaching of local Church leaders, should always come before petty things like the Bible or God’s Word or Belief or Love. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

02-08-2007, 12:08 AM	#2
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	if you love hard cheese, it's no good asking for cake. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

02-08-2007, 07:16 PM	#4
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	...What? __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

02-09-2007, 01:16 AM	#7
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Garbage? Someone has no appreciation for satire, quality nonwithstanding. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

02-09-2007, 04:54 AM	#9
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Thank you, dana, at least SOMEONE likes it... __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

02-08-2007, 08:41 AM	#3
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	You need not to go to those bad places Ibram.

02-09-2007, 03:35 AM	#8
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Ibram, I thought that was really good.

02-09-2007, 03:22 PM	#10
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I think perhaps it's a little too good :P Someone stumbling onto it who wasn't aware of your views/personality may easily think it serious hehe. You have hit just the right tone, got just the right emphasis.

02-09-2007, 08:09 PM	#11
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	oh man, I tried to make it a little too ridiculous to really be genuine, but... I guess theres no such thing as too ridiculous anymore. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

02-10-2007, 01:05 PM	#12
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	When it comes to uber-xtians or neo-cons one cannot be too ridiculous. It took me months to work out that UG wasn't actually parodying the right.

02-10-2007, 02:05 PM	#13
Phil Hoodoo Guru Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 304	very insightful. reminded me of Landover Baptist. __________________ Atheist n A person to be pitied in that he is unable to believe things for which there is no evidence, and who has thus deprived himself of a convenient means of feeling superior to others.

02-11-2007, 07:17 PM	#15
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	Which explains why its in creative expression... __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

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