Should I be an ant or a grasshopper?

[glatt]

That's the basic question.

We are a middle class family, and we live very frugally, and have built up a respectable nest egg.

We are constantly making sacrifices. Not spending money when we could just as easily throw caution to the wind and live for the moment.

My oldest (daughter) is in 8th grade. College will be here in 4 years.

I'll feel like a complete moron if the colleges look at our financial situation, take our nest egg from us, and then say "Ok, now that we have your nest egg, let's talk about financial aid" and start the negotiations from that point.

If I show up at the colleges financial aid office and have a much smaller nest egg, they will have less to take and then start the financial aid conversation at that point.

I'm afraid that I'm being a sucker by saving. Do any of you who have been through the college financial aid system or who work in that system know how it works?

We could buy new windows for the house, or a new furnace, or a new car (Ours is 17 years old.) We're turning down fun things like a zip line course in two weeks that the cub scouts are attending because it will cost $200. We're making sacrifices. Is it going to be worth it, or are we suckers?

College is so freaking expensive. It's like buying a house. We've got what I think is a big nest egg saved up, but it's only enough to pay for about 2 years of college for one kid, and we have two kids. We need to get them through 8 years of college.

I don't want them to be saddled with obscene amounts of debt, but I also don't want to be living so frugally if we don't really have to.

I welcome your input, jokes, snarky comments, etc.

[henry quirk]

Talk to the Infinite Monkey.

Ignore all imitators.

[monster]

*panics* College is only 2 years away for us! I'd be interested in answers to this too, please, oh monkey of infinite wisdom and finite resources.

[footfootfoot]

specify. avoid college degrees that are general or herd instinct. don't go into fields that compete with chinese, indian, or other willing to work for nothing things.

consider strongly, their taking a year or two off before college to continue growing up. the part of the brain controlling rational thinking is not developed until the age of 25. college before that time, unless you have a particularly unusually driven and focused child, is a complete and utter waste of money.

it really is. Start reading the blogs and such written by recent grads, look at what the under 29 set is doing with their lives now.

Unless they are planning on going into some sort of field that expects a prestigious degree go to a state school.

Learn to play the oboe or bassoon and go for a scholarship based on being the only one playing that instrument.

What sort of people are they? what do they want to do? what expectations do you and mrs glatt have of them? Would you be happy if they were house painters, or do they need to be doctors, lawyers or indian chiefs?

Most everything can be learned from books or OTJ training. One month in a busy photo studio is more education than four years in college photo classes.

I have no idea, If your kids were independent your finances wouldn't come into the picture. Free money for college has to come from somewhere and has to go to someone. Should that money be doled out according to need or ability or some combination of both?

Why are you living frugally? What is the point of that nest egg? Your retirement or your kids education? Education is far different from having a diploma, they are entirely unrelated things. What do you really want for your kids? A diploma from Harvard or for them to be educated?

[BrianR]

What if your kids decide to skip college?

Your daughter could meet some guy with an education and marry up! Your other could opt for a military career and spend the next 20 years in uniform!

And since when are parents obligated to provide a four-year degree to a child?

Mine didn't even offer.

[Gravdigr]

I was told flat out that college wasn't going to be a gift. If I wanted it, I had to pony up somehow.

I didn't, I've turned out (more or less) alright, but, I wish I had went (somehow). Maybe I wouldn't have had to do so much hard physical labor.

But...then again...I might have gotten where I am sooner, and if I made the same decisions, I wouldn't get to sit on my ass as long as I might.

[Lola Bunny]

Originally Posted by henry quirk

Talk to the Infinite Monkey.

Ignore all imitators.

Uh...yeah. Although I'm just an imitator and being horribly obnoxious for offering my ignorant and imposing viewpoints, but you seem to be a really nice and polite person, I will offer my two-cents. I am not sure how they do it now but about twenty something years ago, they will ask for the parents' tax returns. Essentially, they will see how much the parents make. How much in savings? I don't recall that question. Another way to help out with tuition is to apply for scholarships. There are all kinds of scholarships out there. My sister wasn't extradinorary, but she applied to whatever scholarship and got it. It really helped with grad school.

There ya go. Basically just two-cents worth. Good luck, Glatt.

[Gravdigr]

Dang, I forgot.

Insert random snarkiness here.

[glatt]

I came here looking for answers and all I get is questions.

My parents paid for my college and it was sort of understood that I'd send my own kids there if they wanted. My dad was a professor, so it's kind of the family way. In my department at my firm, you honestly don't need a degree to do the work we do, but we require one as a way from separating the slackers from those who can sit and work all day. (Although it didn't work for me. I'm a total Cellar slacker.) So I'm biased towards a college degree, and in this county, the overwhelming majority of people have them, so there is tremendous peer pressure to get one. I believe Arlington is the most educated county in the country. Still, I'm aware that in this economy, people graduating with college degrees aren't getting jobs.

I honestly don't care what makes my kids happy and able to pay the bills. I just want them to be independent and hope they will be happy.

My daughter, the 8th grader, is virtually perfect in academics. I think she's had straight A's since they started giving out letter grades. She has no trouble with school work at all. She is brilliant, however she is not curious about the real world at all and would be happy to just read books in her room all the time. She doesn't like trying new things. I think because she's afraid to fail at them. So she reads. She plays soccer and plays the trombone but is not skilled at either one enough to even hope for a scholarship. The one thing she does show interest in is animals, although it's an abstract interest. She hasn't spent any time around them. She just this week snagged a volunteer position at the local Nature Center, so every Thursday she will be helping to take care of the animals and do similar chores. That should be really good for her. I hope it opens her world up a little bit. She's well liked at school, but doesn't really hang out with her friends much after school. She's just in her room. I can picture her going to college and doing very well, but I can't picture her working anywhere. She says she wants to be a writer or a veterinarian.

My son, the 5th grader, has some trouble in school because he hates to do the school work. He gets decent grades (B's), but compared to his sister, he's not as academic. He is smart and very curious about the world. He's always making stuff and taking things apart and wants to cook in the kitchen, and if I'm working on a project or something, he gets right in there to see what I'm doing and wants to try it too. He knows how to install a toilet, change a tire, and make an omelet. He's three years younger than his sister but far exceeds her in knowing how to do things and wanting to try new things. He's covered in scars because he's fearless. He plays soccer and saxophone. He's nothing special in soccer and it's too soon to know if he'll be good with a sax. He says he wants to be an architect, but I can picture him doing just about anything.

As far as savings go, we have a big nest egg in 401Ks for retirement, and I'm not going to touch that until retirement. We have other savings that I consider the nest egg that might get spent on stuff and is for emergencies and stuff. That's what I figure colleges are going to look at and take before they give us a penny.

This question came up because we have finally decided after years of talking about it that we really need to buy a second car. We went used car shopping over the weekend, but didn't have much time and are still not sure what we want. A minivan would be useful some of the time, but a pain the rest of the time, or a mid sized sedan would be a good compromise. So that got me thinking about money.

The ant and the grasshopper only had themselves to worry about. There was no college waiting to take away the ant's stash of food. If colleges are giving away aid, and it's based on need, a person with a big bank account isn't going to look needy.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Lola Bunny

Essentially, they will see how much the parents make. How much in savings? I don't recall that question.

Thanks Lola, that's helpful.. If that's still the case, that's encouraging.

[Happy Monkey]

You might be able to request a financial aid application from some college, or maybe even your school's guidance counsellor, to see what sort of things they ask.

[Gravdigr]

Glatt, I don't know if this will provide any real info, but:

Filling Out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid

[glatt]

Thanks Grav! I honestly haven't even tried looking myself. I was hoping somebody just knew.

but from that link, one of the bits of information requested is:

Information on cash; savings and checking account balances; investments, including stocks and bonds and real estate but not including the home in which you live; and business and farm assets for you, and for your parents if you are a dependent student

They want to take a peek at my nest egg.

[Happy Monkey]

Solution: buy a farm the year before college!

[Gravdigr]

But not THE farm!!!