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Relationships People who need people; or, why can't we all just get along? |
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05-09-2005, 08:32 AM | #46 |
Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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When you said you didn't want a typical 'relationship' I thought you were talking in general terms, not just with this guy.
I read all this as: On a scale of 1 to 10, he's "into you" like a 6. He accepts this relationship because it fulfills his needs, but wants to be unencumbered in case an 8 or 9 comes along. You're into him like a 7. He tweaks a few of the things you need and if he was into you like an 8, this would be an Official long term relationship with the kisses and the sex and the phone calls to say why you were late, and the Rules. The Rules seem like restrictions for people who are a 6 or 7 into each other; for people who are a 9 into each other, they are signs of commitment and caring. For a guy who's a 6 into someone, he doesn't want ANY of those Rules; they're a horror. |
05-09-2005, 08:39 AM | #47 |
stalking a Tom
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: on the edge of the english channel
Posts: 1,000
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That'd be it then. I don't know, it doesn't seem to matter. His or my reasons for being there are somewhat irrelevant - we are both there, for now. If genuine feelings are there they'll come through in the end.
I agree with you, btw, if you're 100% into someone, you embrace the 'rules' - in fact they wouldn't be rules at all, more an unspoken coalescence... or knowledge... oh I don't know the word, but I agree with you anyway. But these can only come naturally, they can't be enforced by imposing a relationship where there isn't one. It will come of it's own accord, or it won't. Simple really.
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05-09-2005, 10:29 AM | #48 | |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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05-09-2005, 10:42 AM | #49 |
stalking a Tom
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: on the edge of the english channel
Posts: 1,000
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Yes, good point, I shall take care to be open to everything/body - something I need to work on anyway. I'm happy for now, anyway.
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05-09-2005, 04:23 PM | #50 |
Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kingdom of Atlantia
Posts: 2,979
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I think that you are too in love with current man to be looking elsewhere, because you will be comparing your current relationship, such that it is, with the unknown future relationship and weighing it in.
You'll take the known, comfortable road, instead of taking a risk, ie chucking it in with current guy and going balls out for new guy. You're dooming yourself to this relationship limbo.
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Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt |
05-10-2005, 03:18 AM | #51 | |||
stalking a Tom
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: on the edge of the english channel
Posts: 1,000
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I don't really understand it, but it is the way it is, and if I really didn't like it, I'd leave. Maybe I will.
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05-10-2005, 08:27 AM | #52 | |
Encroaching on your decrees
Join Date: Feb 2004
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