Why People Hate You... - Page 2

skysidhe · 05-13-2008, 12:20 AM

girls CAN be so mean.

and I don't have any idea.

lookout123 · 05-13-2008, 02:41 AM

Pure unadulterated jealousy. What you have there is someone who sees you in a way you are unwilling or unable to see yourself. She sees a woman with a beauty that she recognizes, but cannot comprehend. She doesn't know all the details but she knows that you've been dealt a difficult hand to play over the last couple years. She sees that you've responded not with bitterness, anger, and envy of those with an easier row to hoe. She sees in you a wealth of beauty and power she can only dream of having and loathes herself for her own perceived failings. The only logical response, of course, is to hate you and drag you down to where she is.

Give her a smile and some encouragement. It'll either encourage or enrage her. Either way you'll feel good about it.

Sundae · 05-13-2008, 04:18 AM

It's irrational Bri. She doesn't have to have a reason to dislike you, it's just one of those things. And because it's irrational there is nothing you can do.

However the fact she's making it known is proof she's a bitch with the morals of a weasel. I say carry on as you are on the surface - calm, peace, I'm-sure-you-didn't-mean-it-that-way replies. Like a good woman. Eventually she'll realise she's just showing herself up.

Of course in private (?) you can come on here and malign her. Then snigger inside you head next time you see her because a bunch of strangers worldwide advocate you getting your foot up her tuppence.

DanaC · 05-13-2008, 04:19 AM

I say listen to Lookout and LJ they've hit the nail on the head.

You probably intimidate the fuck out of her Bri. The fact that she won't read her stuff aloud is very telling. It speaks of a serious lack of confidence in what she is producing. She's getting all happy with herself because she can fly through an assignment in 45 mins? Dear God, is that a childlike approach to schoolwork or what?

When you said you took so much longer because you're slow.....what she heard was "I am much better and more serious about this than you." The fact that she decided to turn that into some kind of contest at all.....speaks volumes.

Bri, you are your professor's peer in a way she cannot be. He has the education and qualifications which you are still trying to attain, just like her, but you are his equal because you are a fully fledged adult. For this young lass, if she does have a crush on him, you are about as threatening an individual as she could encounter. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she didn't occassionally leave that class thinking "shit why did I say that?" having said something that made her seem even younger and more childish.

Girls are bitches. I know, I was one. These are girls, you are a woman. Just keep on doing what you do, being who you are. You know damn well that should you choose to let loose the darker side of yourself you could floor her with a well chosen and well timed put down, from which she would find it difficult to recover. Thing is...you are the adult. She's still a child. She sounds woefully immature for 20.

My advice, for what it's worth, is similar to the rest of the advice you've been given. Kill her with kindness. When she comes out with one of her snide bitchy little comments.....laugh like it's really funny....like she's made a goodhearted jest.

Keep in mind her age. 20 and lacking in confidence, hiding behind viciousness like an adolescent. You remember how it felt to be so unsure of yourself in the world. She is deserving of a little sympathy/pity and understanding. She may even grow up to be a decent lass one day.

Trilby · 05-13-2008, 05:59 AM

thank you, everyone of you, for the good advice. I feel much better about her and realize she is indeed very young and probably very afraid of life in general---hey, it's a tough world out there.

You guys are great and I'm glad I'm here.

ferret88 · 05-13-2008, 07:49 AM

My initial reaction was "maybe you remind her of someone with whom she's got some problem." If so, there's not much you can do about it.

Then I thought, "if I was in your position, I'd be going out of my way to say and do things just to get a reaction and see how long it takes someone else in the class to point out to her how much of a b!tch she's being and to STFU."

Dingleschmutz · 05-13-2008, 08:17 AM

I think it's because at the basest of levels, all women hate each other. They can cover this up at times by shopping our going out for drinks together, but that's just until they're out with a different "friend" and then the favorite activity turns into completely eviscerating the first "friend". Wash, rinse, repeat.

So my question is, why should you care? Yes, this one has an attitude, has yet to mature past the listening to emo music stage, and is probaby guilty of most of the things that the other posters have accused her of as evidenced by her refusal to acknowledge the time-honored woman tradition of only being snarky to another woman behind her back. All that means is that there's one less person in class that you have to play that "oh my gosh, how are you today!" small talk game that's interrupted with those overcompensating fake laughs that sound nothing like your real laughs because you're both way too concerned with making the other person believe that you don't actually hate her guts. And of course, as mentioned before, you also have a new target for cunt punts. I see no real downfall here.

P.S. I'm kidding.

Kind of.

Shawnee123 · 05-13-2008, 08:26 AM

I don't have time to read too many posts to know how often this has been said, but my summary can be complete in one word: jealousy. Pure and simple.

Don't people get tired of being cliches?

Cloud · 05-13-2008, 09:03 AM

Quote:

all women hate each other?

uh . . . no.

lumberjim · 05-13-2008, 09:38 AM

when we were young and courting, jinx and I were at a party. At this party, my friend Mike's current and ex-girlfriend somewhow were both in attendance. This caused some friction. I think I was dosed, so the memories are vague...

(I'm thinking this is the same party that I painted a beautiful earth on jinx's favorite jeans with fabric paint, and the words "Yove your Mother" around it. that's right Yove. wtf?)
...anyway.... one of the girlfriends was heard to shriek "I'll kick her in the cunt!" at top volume very many times while she was being dragged out of the party. I also remember one of them latching their teeth into Mike's arm and not letting go for an awkwardly long time.....

...good times.....good times.

jinx · 05-13-2008, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

so the memories are vague...

(I'm thinking this is the same party that I painted a beautiful earth on jinx's favorite jeans with fabric paint, and the words "Yove your Mother" around it. that's right Yove. wtf?)
...anyway.... one of the girlfriends was heard to shriek "I'll kick her in the cunt!" at top volume very many times while she was being dragged out of the party. I also remember one of them latching their teeth into Mike's arm and not letting go for an awkwardly long time.....

...good times.....good times.

Your memory is sooooo bad.... I'll tell you how it really happened when you get home (as Im sure no one else cares).

Dingleschmutz · 05-13-2008, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jinx

Your memory is sooooo bad.... I'll tell you how it really happened when you get home (as Im sure no one else cares).

Don't hate on a drunk guy... Think of it as training for things we need to have selective memory about.

HungLikeJesus · 05-13-2008, 09:41 AM

My first thought was, perhaps you remind her of her mother.

Trilby · 05-13-2008, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus

My first thought was, perhaps you remind her of her mother.

Hm. Well. Perhaps.

I don't think women secretly hate each other, either. Only the very young immature woman/girl does that and not all of them, either.

She said something strange, too. this is a sophomore class (yeah, I'm a senior but the cancer/chemo/surgery thing left me too exhausted for Serious Stuff) and she is a sophomore. She came into class the other day and announced she'd "gotten into grad school!!!!"

Can one know as a sophomore if they've 'gotten into grad school'? Methinks no as you're really not even into your major yet---but, she may be a special case; started college at the age of 17 or something. Anyway--seemed just like another weird thing.

ok. I'll give her wide berth and just forget about it. I only mentioned it b/c I really AM trying to take in a wider world view. Some people will indeed just hate you for...whatev.

Plus, there's always kicking her in the cunt.

Shawnee123 · 05-13-2008, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

She said something strange, too. this is a sophomore class (yeah, I'm a senior but the cancer/chemo/surgery thing left me too exhausted for Serious Stuff) and she is a sophomore. She came into class the other day and announced she'd "gotten into grad school!!!!"

Maybe you misheard her: did she say she'd gotten her some Gardisil, instead?

Perhaps Daddy already made a payment to the Board at the grad school she's supposed to attend.

I don't think all women hate each other, either. I think women will notice more the qualities they find undesirable in other women, because women pay more attention. Most women, also, are not easily swayed by someone waving their boobies about the room.

She sounds like a punk ass punk with self-esteem issues; she's intimidated by a strong woman who doesn't need to shout about things that aren't even true.

Some of the best advice I ever got, from my ex father-in-law (a wonderful man): If someone is full of hot air, don't burst their balloon. Just prick them so they know they're leaking.

You can do that just by being wonderful you. I bet it drives her bonkers!

05-13-2008, 02:41 AM	#2
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	Pure unadulterated jealousy. What you have there is someone who sees you in a way you are unwilling or unable to see yourself. She sees a woman with a beauty that she recognizes, but cannot comprehend. She doesn't know all the details but she knows that you've been dealt a difficult hand to play over the last couple years. She sees that you've responded not with bitterness, anger, and envy of those with an easier row to hoe. She sees in you a wealth of beauty and power she can only dream of having and loathes herself for her own perceived failings. The only logical response, of course, is to hate you and drag you down to where she is. Give her a smile and some encouragement. It'll either encourage or enrage her. Either way you'll feel good about it. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

05-13-2008, 04:18 AM	#3
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	It's irrational Bri. She doesn't have to have a reason to dislike you, it's just one of those things. And because it's irrational there is nothing you can do. However the fact she's making it known is proof she's a bitch with the morals of a weasel. I say carry on as you are on the surface - calm, peace, I'm-sure-you-didn't-mean-it-that-way replies. Like a good woman. Eventually she'll realise she's just showing herself up. Of course in private (?) you can come on here and malign her. Then snigger inside you head next time you see her because a bunch of strangers worldwide advocate you getting your foot up her tuppence. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-13-2008, 05:59 AM	#5
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	thank you, everyone of you, for the good advice. I feel much better about her and realize she is indeed very young and probably very afraid of life in general---hey, it's a tough world out there. You guys are great and I'm glad I'm here. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-13-2008, 08:26 AM	#8
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I don't have time to read too many posts to know how often this has been said, but my summary can be complete in one word: jealousy. Pure and simple. Don't people get tired of being cliches? __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-13-2008, 09:38 AM	#10
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	when we were young and courting, jinx and I were at a party. At this party, my friend Mike's current and ex-girlfriend somewhow were both in attendance. This caused some friction. I think I was dosed, so the memories are vague... (I'm thinking this is the same party that I painted a beautiful earth on jinx's favorite jeans with fabric paint, and the words "Yove your Mother" around it. that's right Yove. wtf?) ...anyway.... one of the girlfriends was heard to shriek "I'll kick her in the cunt!" at top volume very many times while she was being dragged out of the party. I also remember one of them latching their teeth into Mike's arm and not letting go for an awkwardly long time..... ...good times.....good times. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

05-13-2008, 12:20 AM	#1
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	girls CAN be so mean. and I don't have any idea.

05-13-2008, 04:19 AM	#4
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I say listen to Lookout and LJ they've hit the nail on the head. You probably intimidate the fuck out of her Bri. The fact that she won't read her stuff aloud is very telling. It speaks of a serious lack of confidence in what she is producing. She's getting all happy with herself because she can fly through an assignment in 45 mins? Dear God, is that a childlike approach to schoolwork or what? When you said you took so much longer because you're slow.....what she heard was "I am much better and more serious about this than you." The fact that she decided to turn that into some kind of contest at all.....speaks volumes. Bri, you are your professor's peer in a way she cannot be. He has the education and qualifications which you are still trying to attain, just like her, but you are his equal because you are a fully fledged adult. For this young lass, if she does have a crush on him, you are about as threatening an individual as she could encounter. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she didn't occassionally leave that class thinking "shit why did I say that?" having said something that made her seem even younger and more childish. Girls are bitches. I know, I was one. These are girls, you are a woman. Just keep on doing what you do, being who you are. You know damn well that should you choose to let loose the darker side of yourself you could floor her with a well chosen and well timed put down, from which she would find it difficult to recover. Thing is...you are the adult. She's still a child. She sounds woefully immature for 20. My advice, for what it's worth, is similar to the rest of the advice you've been given. Kill her with kindness. When she comes out with one of her snide bitchy little comments.....laugh like it's really funny....like she's made a goodhearted jest. Keep in mind her age. 20 and lacking in confidence, hiding behind viciousness like an adolescent. You remember how it felt to be so unsure of yourself in the world. She is deserving of a little sympathy/pity and understanding. She may even grow up to be a decent lass one day.

05-13-2008, 07:49 AM	#6
ferret88 (This space left intentionally UN-blank.) Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Albuquerque Posts: 604	My initial reaction was "maybe you remind her of someone with whom she's got some problem." If so, there's not much you can do about it. Then I thought, "if I was in your position, I'd be going out of my way to say and do things just to get a reaction and see how long it takes someone else in the class to point out to her how much of a b!tch she's being and to STFU."

05-13-2008, 08:17 AM	#7
Dingleschmutz is not a palindrome... Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Des Moines Posts: 341	I think it's because at the basest of levels, all women hate each other. They can cover this up at times by shopping our going out for drinks together, but that's just until they're out with a different "friend" and then the favorite activity turns into completely eviscerating the first "friend". Wash, rinse, repeat. So my question is, why should you care? Yes, this one has an attitude, has yet to mature past the listening to emo music stage, and is probaby guilty of most of the things that the other posters have accused her of as evidenced by her refusal to acknowledge the time-honored woman tradition of only being snarky to another woman behind her back. All that means is that there's one less person in class that you have to play that "oh my gosh, how are you today!" small talk game that's interrupted with those overcompensating fake laughs that sound nothing like your real laughs because you're both way too concerned with making the other person believe that you don't actually hate her guts. And of course, as mentioned before, you also have a new target for cunt punts. I see no real downfall here. P.S. I'm kidding. Kind of.

05-13-2008, 09:41 AM	#13
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	My first thought was, perhaps you remind her of her mother. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

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