Well, This is Going to be a Lousy Situation

[Elspode]

I took the day off from work with my boss' blessing, and accomplished a great deal. I did get printouts from our bank, and from what I can see, there wasn't much money in them at all...less than $300. However, what I have yet to have time to research is whether or not my checks were all deposited and then used as they were intended, or if she was cashing them and pocketing the funds without paying the bills.

It could be that we were that far behind, and she was paying what she could, when she could. I won't have time to research this until I get through this week. In the meantime, we got a lot of my stuff moved over to Leslie's, but there's much more to move...and then much more to be disposed, especially trash. A great deal of trash was created and left in her hasty, clandestine departure.

I have feelers our for a real estate agent who is experienced in handling distressed/short sale properties. If the rest of this week works as well as today - if I get sufficient help with strong backs and trucks, basically - the hardest part will be done.

I promise to be here more soon. As I said, I've missed you all, and I have no good excuse for why I've been nothing more than a lurker for so very long. Thanks for the good vibes. Please keep them coming, and try to spare some for Selene as well. She has to be going through some pretty fucked up shit in her head/life to have resorted to this.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Elspode

I took the day off from work with my boss' blessing, and accomplished a great deal. I did get printouts from our bank, and from what I can see, there wasn't much money in them at all...less than $300. However, what I have yet to have time to research is whether or not my checks were all deposited and then used as they were intended, or if she was cashing them and pocketing the funds without paying the bills.

It could be that we were that far behind, and she was paying what she could, when she could. I won't have time to research this until I get through this week. In the meantime, we got a lot of my stuff moved over to Leslie's, but there's much more to move...and then much more to be disposed, especially trash. A great deal of trash was created and left in her hasty, clandestine departure.

I have feelers our for a real estate agent who is experienced in handling distressed/short sale properties. If the rest of this week works as well as today - if I get sufficient help with strong backs and trucks, basically - the hardest part will be done.

I promise to be here more soon. As I said, I've missed you all, and I have no good excuse for why I've been nothing more than a lurker for so very long. Thanks for the good vibes. Please keep them coming, and try to spare some for Selene as well. She has to be going through some pretty fucked up shit in her head/life to have resorted to this.

Glad you're getting sorted Els. And, ok, fair enough, I'll spare a thought for Selene. Like you say, she must be going through some shit, or her head must be all over the show to do what she's done and the way she's done it.

But: she only gets the spare good vibes :p The bulk are for you. You're a bigger man than most on this Els.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Elspode

...and try to spare some for Selene as well. She has to be going through some pretty fucked up shit in her head/life to have resorted to this.

That's pretty much what I'd expect you to say... but, no. I'm not buying that shit, not for a minute.

This wasn't a wrong choice driven by a panicky fight or flight situation. This was a carefully crafted, fuck-you-long-time, kick in the nuts, by an evil, self-centered, cunt. An act so vile, even she can't watch it unfold.

Ok, you don't want to hear, or even think, such things about a woman you loved so long. But I feel a suicide bomber has more integrity, and more dignity, than this bomb thrower.

You think maybe she's suffering? I hope you're right, as she so richly deserves it.

Maybe later, I'll break down and tell you how I really feel.

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

That's pretty much what I'd expect you to say... but, no. I'm not buying that shit, not for a minute.

This wasn't a wrong choice driven by a panicky fight or flight situation. This was a carefully crafted, fuck-you-long-time, kick in the nuts, by an evil, self-centered, cunt. An act so vile, even she can't watch it unfold.

That's it, right there.

Bruce nailed it.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Elspode

snip--

I promise to be here more soon. As I said, I've missed you all, and I have no good excuse for why I've been nothing more than a lurker for so very long.

Good. I'm counting on it.

Originally Posted by Elspode

Thanks for the good vibes. Please keep them coming, and try to spare some for Selene as well. She has to be going through some pretty fucked up shit in her head/life to have resorted to this.

You're welcome. You have my good vibes as does Selene.

Ya'll--an aside--it's my experience that good vibes for the ex are a gift to both, especially to Elspode in this case. I felt the same way when I was in a similar situation. He's in adrift in an ocean of shit for the moment, throwing in some free floating focused hate doesn't improve that situation, especially since he's asked for the opposite.

I believe this:

Originally Posted by Els

She has to be going through some pretty fucked up shit in her head/life to have resorted to this.

produces this:

Originally Posted by xoB

This wasn't a wrong choice driven by a panicky fight or flight situation. This was a carefully crafted, fuck-you-long-time, kick in the nuts, by an evil, self-centered, cunt. An act so vile, even she can't watch it unfold.

I agree with you xoB, I do. But I also know that Elspode chose her, built a life with her to this point and did so not because she was Susanna bin Laden, but because she was in Elspode's eyes a good person. I support Elspode because he's my friend and I'll do what I can for him. For me, that includes holding my hatred in abeyance.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by BigV

I agree with you xoB, I do. But I also know that Elspode chose her, built a life with her to this point and did so not because she was Susanna bin Laden, but because she was in Elspode's eyes a good person. I support Elspode because he's my friend and I'll do what I can for him. For me, that includes holding my hatred in abeyance.

My diatribe has nothing to do with 'Spode, it was at Donna Bin Laden.
Everyone who's been around here for some time knows Elspode makes Ghandi look like an SS Stormtrooper. (No Godwin) They both were aware the marriage was petering out, so the divorce was not a surprise. He was also aware she could be ruthless to those that deserved it.

But the way she blindsided him, making the exit as smooth as possible for herself, leaving him debts, a fucked credit rating, and virtually no chance to recover any equity from the house, is lower than whale shit.

I know he will forgive her, that's our 'Spode.
But I'll be God Damned if I will... no way, no how, not ever.

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

My diatribe has nothing to do with 'Spode, it was at Donna Bin Laden.
Everyone who's been around here for some time knows Elspode makes Ghandi look like an SS Stormtrooper. (No Godwin) They both were aware the marriage was petering out, so the divorce was not a surprise. He was also aware she could be ruthless to those that deserved it.

But the way she blindsided him, making the exit as smooth as possible for herself, leaving him debts, a fucked credit rating, and virtually no chance to recover any equity from the house, is lower than whale shit.

I know he will forgive her, that's our 'Spode.
But I'll be God Damned if I will... no way, no how, not ever.

Bruce, this is all true. And you're right...I've already forgiven her. She's aching from this. It doesn't score her any points with me, but yeah, she's fucked in the head over all of this. As well she should be.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I still love ya, remind me to give you a reach around next time I'm out that way.

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

I still love ya, remind me to give you a reach around next time I'm out that way.

I have your picture stenciled on my underwear.

[Pete Zicato]

Originally Posted by Elspode

Thanks for the good vibes. Please keep them coming, and try to spare some for Selene as well.

That sucks, Els. I hope you bounce back quickly.

On the above, though, I can't go along. I think it's pretty low to leave without telling the person face to face. If nothing else, you've just mad closure hard to come by.

I think she's got some bad Karma coming.

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

I think she's got some bad Karma coming.

She does, and I'm sure she knows it. For my part, I've been trying to feed my positive karma in the wake of all this, but part of feeding the Positivity Beast is making sure that you spread it around.

I wish her well. When the inevitable day comes that the only person who can absolve her, comfort her, tell her she'll be okay...when that day comes, I'll be there, I'll provide it, she'll take it...and walk away.

It's what is required. It's what I do.

[xoxoxoBruce]

If it helps you, directly or indirectly, then surely you must. No one can condemn you for following your heart.

[Pete Zicato]

Originally Posted by Elspode

I wish her well. When the inevitable day comes that the only person who can absolve her, comfort her, tell her she'll be okay...when that day comes, I'll be there, I'll provide it, she'll take it...and walk away.

It's what is required. It's what I do.

I refuse to believe that God/The Universe/Nature wants you to be a doormat.

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

I refuse to believe that God/The Universe/Nature wants you to be a doormat.

Only *I* can make myself feel like a doormat. I don't plan to do so.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Elspode

Only *I* can make myself feel like a doormat. I don't plan to do so.

But you'd be a bathmat to sneak a peek.