Tasteless Jokes - Page 13

01-15-2003, 05:05 PM

<b>How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?</b>

Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY DICK.

Hubris Boy · 01-16-2003, 01:29 AM

Thank you, Dave, for taking the time to revive this most excellent of all threads.

And now...

Why did God invent women?

Because sheep can't type.

That Guy · 01-16-2003, 07:49 AM

What's the difference between a feminist and a sumo wrestler?

That Guy · 01-17-2003, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
What's the difference between a feminist and a sumo wrestler?

Sumo wrestlers don't have hairy legs.

wolf · 06-24-2003, 03:02 PM

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.

"What was that?" The others asked her.

"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."

A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked.

"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."

They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked her.

"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this fucking sweater!"

vsp · 06-24-2003, 03:25 PM

My brain just turned to guacamole and leaked out my ears.

Bitmap · 06-24-2003, 03:33 PM

Ok While at plastic forks this year i told this joke(kindof).. and was informed of this thread.. so i thought i'd revive it.... but people please try and stay on topic. and Please no anti-tasteless joke comments... we don't care...

SO a blond a brunette and a red head are sitting at a bar. They are all laughing and talking... untill the topic of their boyfriends comes up. So they start bragging about how loose they are.
The Red says, " I'm so loose that my boyfriend can stick Two fists in me"

The Brunette scoffs, " I'm so... loose that my boyfriend can fit both his fists and a foot in me"

The Blond looks at them nerviously and shifts her weight, then turns and looks at the other two with a grin as she slides down the barstool.

xoxoxoBruce · 06-25-2003, 08:37 PM

1. WHAT DO YOU CALL A CUPBOARD FULL OF LESBIANS? ... A LICKER CABINET.

2. WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ESKIMO LESBIAN? ... A KLONDYKE.

3. WHAT DO YOU CALL 100 LESBIANS WITH GUNS? ... MILITIA ETHRIDGE.

4. WHAT DO YOU CALL 2 LESBIANS IN A CANOE? ... FUR TRADERS.

5. WHAT IS A LESBIAN DINOSAUR CALLED? ... A LICKALOTAPUSS.

6. WHAT DO YOU CALL A LESBIAN WITH LONG FINGERS? ... WELL HUNG.

7. WHAT DO TWO LESBIANS DO WHEN THEY ARE HAVING THEIR PERIODS? ... FINGERPAINT. (EEEWWWWW)

8. WHAT DO LESBIANS CALL AN OPEN CAN OF TUNA? ... POTPOURRI.

9. WHAT DID THE LESBIAN VAMPIRE SAY TO HER PARTNER? ... SEE YOU NEXT PERIOD.

10. DID YOU HEAR THAT ELLEN DEGENERES DROWNED? ... SHE WAS FOUND FACE DOWN IN RICKI LAKE.

11. HOW CAN YOU TELL A TOUGH LESBIAN BAR? ... EVEN THE POOL TABLE DOESN'T HAVE BALLS.

12. DO YOU KNOW WHAT DRAG IS? ... IT'S WHEN A MAN WEARS EVERYTHING A LESBIAN WON'T.

13. WHAT DO YOU CALL LESBIAN TWINS? ... LICK-A-LIKES.

14. HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A LESBIAN IS BUTCH? ... SHE KICK-STARTS HER VIBRATOR AND ROLLS HER OWN TAMPONS.

15. WHAT'S THE DEFINITION OF CONFUSION? ... TWENTY BLIND LESBIANS IN A FISH MARKET.

16. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RITZ CRACKER AND A LESBIAN? ... ONE'S A SNACK CRACKER, THE OTHER A CRACK SNACKER!

zippyt · 06-25-2003, 10:38 PM

How about some visual stupidity??

zippyt · 06-25-2003, 10:40 PM

Or,

zippyt · 06-25-2003, 10:42 PM

Or,,

zippyt · 06-25-2003, 10:45 PM

and finaly,

06-26-2003, 05:16 AM

Very nice, zippyt. I especially got a kick out of the first two.

xoxoxoBruce · 06-26-2003, 03:28 PM

Giggle, giggle.

xoxoxoBruce · 06-28-2003, 03:24 PM

Planned books cancelled on 9-12-01
“Giuliani: Why He Could Never Handle a Huge Crisis”
“Our Fear-Free, Pampered, Celebrity-Obsessed, Self-Indulgent, Insular American World: Why It Will go on Like This Forever”
“Carry On: It's Time To Stop All This Unnecessary Airport Security”
“Religious Fundamentalism: The Last Best Hope to Bring Peace to the World”
“Mommy, I Feel Too Safe: How to Raise Children in a Boring World”
“Hosed: Are Firemen Really All That Brave, Or Is It Just a Bunch Of Hype?”
“How to Find a Great Name for Your Speed-Metal Band, by Joey Belladonna of Anthrax”
“‘Jihad’? Wasn't She On ‘Moesha’?: 100 Hilarious Jokes About Americans’ Ignorance of World Affairs and Other Cultures”
“The Death of CNN: Why The All-News Format Failed”
“Stem Cell Research: George W. Bush's defining moment”
“How to Look Afghan”
“Take a Powder!: The kid's guide to de-electronizing finely milled granular substances”

06-24-2003, 03:02 PM	#5
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill. "What was that?" The others asked her. "Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked. "Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked her. "It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this fucking sweater!" __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

06-24-2003, 03:25 PM	#6
vsp Syndrome of a Down Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: West Chester Posts: 1,367	^ My brain just turned to guacamole and leaked out my ears.

06-24-2003, 03:33 PM	#7
Bitmap Look who thinks he's clever Dan. Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Washington DC Metro Area. Fairfax city Posts: 226	Reviving the lost art..... Ok While at plastic forks this year i told this joke(kindof).. and was informed of this thread.. so i thought i'd revive it.... but people please try and stay on topic. and Please no anti-tasteless joke comments... we don't care... SO a blond a brunette and a red head are sitting at a bar. They are all laughing and talking... untill the topic of their boyfriends comes up. So they start bragging about how loose they are. The Red says, " I'm so loose that my boyfriend can stick Two fists in me" The Brunette scoffs, " I'm so... loose that my boyfriend can fit both his fists and a foot in me" The Blond looks at them nerviously and shifts her weight, then turns and looks at the other two with a grin as she slides down the barstool.

06-25-2003, 08:37 PM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	1. WHAT DO YOU CALL A CUPBOARD FULL OF LESBIANS? ... A LICKER CABINET. 2. WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ESKIMO LESBIAN? ... A KLONDYKE. 3. WHAT DO YOU CALL 100 LESBIANS WITH GUNS? ... MILITIA ETHRIDGE. 4. WHAT DO YOU CALL 2 LESBIANS IN A CANOE? ... FUR TRADERS. 5. WHAT IS A LESBIAN DINOSAUR CALLED? ... A LICKALOTAPUSS. 6. WHAT DO YOU CALL A LESBIAN WITH LONG FINGERS? ... WELL HUNG. 7. WHAT DO TWO LESBIANS DO WHEN THEY ARE HAVING THEIR PERIODS? ... FINGERPAINT. (EEEWWWWW) 8. WHAT DO LESBIANS CALL AN OPEN CAN OF TUNA? ... POTPOURRI. 9. WHAT DID THE LESBIAN VAMPIRE SAY TO HER PARTNER? ... SEE YOU NEXT PERIOD. 10. DID YOU HEAR THAT ELLEN DEGENERES DROWNED? ... SHE WAS FOUND FACE DOWN IN RICKI LAKE. 11. HOW CAN YOU TELL A TOUGH LESBIAN BAR? ... EVEN THE POOL TABLE DOESN'T HAVE BALLS. 12. DO YOU KNOW WHAT DRAG IS? ... IT'S WHEN A MAN WEARS EVERYTHING A LESBIAN WON'T. 13. WHAT DO YOU CALL LESBIAN TWINS? ... LICK-A-LIKES. 14. HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A LESBIAN IS BUTCH? ... SHE KICK-STARTS HER VIBRATOR AND ROLLS HER OWN TAMPONS. 15. WHAT'S THE DEFINITION OF CONFUSION? ... TWENTY BLIND LESBIANS IN A FISH MARKET. 16. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RITZ CRACKER AND A LESBIAN? ... ONE'S A SNACK CRACKER, THE OTHER A CRACK SNACKER! __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

06-25-2003, 10:38 PM	#9
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	How about some visual stupidity?? Attached Images __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

01-15-2003, 05:05 PM	#1
dave Guest Posts: n/a	<b>How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?</b> Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY DICK.

01-16-2003, 01:29 AM	#2
Hubris Boy Keymaster of Gozer Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Patapsco Drainage Basin Posts: 471	Thank you, Dave, for taking the time to revive this most excellent of all threads. And now... Why did God invent women? Because sheep can't type.

01-16-2003, 07:49 AM	#3
That Guy He who reads, sometimes writes. Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: at the keyboard Posts: 791	What's the difference between a feminist and a sumo wrestler?

06-25-2003, 10:40 PM	#10
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Or, Attached Images __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

06-25-2003, 10:42 PM	#11
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Or,, Attached Images __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

06-25-2003, 10:45 PM	#12
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	and finaly, Attached Images __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

06-26-2003, 05:16 AM	#13
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Very nice, zippyt. I especially got a kick out of the first two.

06-26-2003, 03:28 PM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Giggle, giggle. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. Last edited by xoxoxoBruce; 04-07-2007 at 06:08 PM.

06-28-2003, 03:24 PM	#15
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Planned books cancelled on 9-12-01 “Giuliani: Why He Could Never Handle a Huge Crisis” “Our Fear-Free, Pampered, Celebrity-Obsessed, Self-Indulgent, Insular American World: Why It Will go on Like This Forever” “Carry On: It's Time To Stop All This Unnecessary Airport Security” “Religious Fundamentalism: The Last Best Hope to Bring Peace to the World” “Mommy, I Feel Too Safe: How to Raise Children in a Boring World” “Hosed: Are Firemen Really All That Brave, Or Is It Just a Bunch Of Hype?” “How to Find a Great Name for Your Speed-Metal Band, by Joey Belladonna of Anthrax” “‘Jihad’? Wasn't She On ‘Moesha’?: 100 Hilarious Jokes About Americans’ Ignorance of World Affairs and Other Cultures” “The Death of CNN: Why The All-News Format Failed” “Stem Cell Research: George W. Bush's defining moment” “How to Look Afghan” “Take a Powder!: The kid's guide to de-electronizing finely milled granular substances” __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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