Tales from the Nuthouse: Lest You Think I have a Really Cool Job - Page 16

Shawnee123 · 01-07-2011, 11:02 AM

I've seriously thought of doing this with FA stories, too.

My ex sis-in-law, years ago on staff for a congressman, had a collection of nut letters. I told her she should publish but apparently that is a big giant no-no. I guess you could make the stories really anonymous, but said nuts would find themselves in every story and sue.

wolf · 01-12-2011, 09:55 AM

Last night was horrifyingly busy. I should have spent the night watching the snow fall and posting on The Cellar, but instead I was running from start to finish. The only way I got to eat dinner was that I had to do an insurance precertification call that kept me at my desk for a half-hour.

So, anyway, that guy came in ... you know, the Catcher in the Rye nut?

The homeless shelter director was in our office filing a commitment petition on a different guy ... she saw him, and gave some helpful information to our doctor ... "He's evil. I don't care that it's Code Blue. He's not allowed to set foot in our shelter."

His reputation is well known.

wolf · 03-09-2011, 12:59 PM

How do you take someone seriously that has beautiful penmanship, but writes that someone has "visiable abortions on her arms and wrests," "her momma is a crack," and "she wants to died."

wolf · 03-09-2011, 01:04 PM

Nut: Do I have to have sex for cigarettes? Should I call a hooker?

(not only does she realize that she should offer a trade for cigarettes, but she understands that she is not herself able to provide value for your money, and is willing to hire a subcontractor)

wolf · 03-09-2011, 01:11 PM

Nut: is the doctor there?

wolf: no, she isn't. She's gone for the day. Sorry to surprise you, but our doctors do go home on occasion.

Nut: Well, she discharged me a couple of weeks ago and she forgot to give me my medications.

wolf: What medications might those be? (I had a pretty good idea. our doctors do not typically prescribe medications that are considered "fun.")

Nut: My Benzos. (bingo. fun as fun can be.)

wolf: We don't write for benzos on discharge. You need to discuss that with your outpatient doctor. (probably already did, and outpatient shrink also has a policy of not prescribing anything fun)

Nut: But it's my birthday weekend coming up and I need my benzos! (great, now they're using us to cater their birthday parties)

And so, I thought the adventure was ended ... until the police showed up with her.

The police thought she wanted to see the doctor. I knew better.

wolf: So, do you think you need to be in the nuthouse?

Nut: oh, no. I don't need to be in, I just need my benzos. It's my birthday weekend coming up.

wolf: I'm the one you talked to on the phone. You're not getting any benzos.

Nut: oh. Well, I got a complaint. You're making milk come out my nipples. (the policemen were both choking in an attempt not to laugh)

wolf: That's a medical problem. You need to see your primary doctor.

Nut: Will my primary write me benzos?

wolf: You'll have to talk to him about that.

She then decided she was done with me, and asked the police to take her to her mother's residence.

Cop: You got two choices, you can stay here voluntarily and see the doctor, or you can go to jail.

Nut turned her back to the cops, crossed her arms behind her back and announced, "Jail."

and off they went into the night.

I have never seen anything quite like it.

Griff · 07-25-2014, 04:51 PM

Anything to say or would that not be cool?

elSicomoro · 07-25-2014, 06:09 PM

I came across a few of these folks while doing patient transport, though I didn't have any issues with them.

orthodoc · 07-25-2014, 10:29 PM

Not sure why this thread has revived now, but folks like this are routine in my experience. What's the question?

Big Sarge · 07-25-2014, 11:17 PM

ortho - we have figured you out. you probably prescribe maple syrup for everything.

orthodoc · 07-26-2014, 01:59 AM

Natch, maple syrup cures most things ...

Griff · 07-26-2014, 07:29 AM

I revived it because for the first time NPR has reported on someone defending his own and the lives of others with a gun. That person is a doctor who works in a nuthouse local to our resident wrangler.

Undertoad · 07-26-2014, 07:44 AM

http://abcnews.go.com/US/inside-furi...ry?id=24716727

sexobon · 07-26-2014, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

I revived it because for the first time NPR has reported on someone defending his own and the lives of others with a gun. ...

It's unusual to see the news industry report on those occurrences. They generally practice the biases of their sources of revenue. Occasionally there's a spin they can use such as a doctor saving lives in an unconventional manner; or, a veteran continuing to do at home what he was trained to do in the military as in this story:

Veteran With Concealed Carry Permit Shoots Back At Chicago Gunman

xoxoxoBruce · 07-26-2014, 11:13 AM

From UT's link.

Quote:

"I believe it was his practice for his own self protection to carry a firearm," Whelan said. The prosecutor said that had the doctor not had a gun and fired back, "he would probably not be alive today," Whelan said.

The Doctor was stone lucky, he needs better training.

BigV · 08-02-2014, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orthodoc

Natch, maple syrup cures most things ...

is that Canadian for Windex?

01-07-2011, 11:02 AM	#226
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I've seriously thought of doing this with FA stories, too. My ex sis-in-law, years ago on staff for a congressman, had a collection of nut letters. I told her she should publish but apparently that is a big giant no-no. I guess you could make the stories really anonymous, but said nuts would find themselves in every story and sue. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

01-12-2011, 09:55 AM	#227
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Last night was horrifyingly busy. I should have spent the night watching the snow fall and posting on The Cellar, but instead I was running from start to finish. The only way I got to eat dinner was that I had to do an insurance precertification call that kept me at my desk for a half-hour. So, anyway, that guy came in ... you know, the Catcher in the Rye nut? The homeless shelter director was in our office filing a commitment petition on a different guy ... she saw him, and gave some helpful information to our doctor ... "He's evil. I don't care that it's Code Blue. He's not allowed to set foot in our shelter." His reputation is well known. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-09-2011, 12:59 PM	#228
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	How do you take someone seriously that has beautiful penmanship, but writes that someone has "visiable abortions on her arms and wrests," "her momma is a crack," and "she wants to died." __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-09-2011, 01:04 PM	#229
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Nut: Do I have to have sex for cigarettes? Should I call a hooker? (not only does she realize that she should offer a trade for cigarettes, but she understands that she is not herself able to provide value for your money, and is willing to hire a subcontractor) __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-09-2011, 01:11 PM	#230
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Nut: is the doctor there? wolf: no, she isn't. She's gone for the day. Sorry to surprise you, but our doctors do go home on occasion. Nut: Well, she discharged me a couple of weeks ago and she forgot to give me my medications. wolf: What medications might those be? (I had a pretty good idea. our doctors do not typically prescribe medications that are considered "fun.") Nut: My Benzos. (bingo. fun as fun can be.) wolf: We don't write for benzos on discharge. You need to discuss that with your outpatient doctor. (probably already did, and outpatient shrink also has a policy of not prescribing anything fun) Nut: But it's my birthday weekend coming up and I need my benzos! (great, now they're using us to cater their birthday parties) And so, I thought the adventure was ended ... until the police showed up with her. The police thought she wanted to see the doctor. I knew better. wolf: So, do you think you need to be in the nuthouse? Nut: oh, no. I don't need to be in, I just need my benzos. It's my birthday weekend coming up. wolf: I'm the one you talked to on the phone. You're not getting any benzos. Nut: oh. Well, I got a complaint. You're making milk come out my nipples. (the policemen were both choking in an attempt not to laugh) wolf: That's a medical problem. You need to see your primary doctor. Nut: Will my primary write me benzos? wolf: You'll have to talk to him about that. She then decided she was done with me, and asked the police to take her to her mother's residence. Cop: You got two choices, you can stay here voluntarily and see the doctor, or you can go to jail. Nut turned her back to the cops, crossed her arms behind her back and announced, "Jail." and off they went into the night. I have never seen anything quite like it. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

07-25-2014, 04:51 PM	#231
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Anything to say or would that not be cool? __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

07-25-2014, 06:09 PM	#232
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I came across a few of these folks while doing patient transport, though I didn't have any issues with them.

07-25-2014, 10:29 PM	#233
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	Not sure why this thread has revived now, but folks like this are routine in my experience. What's the question? __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

07-25-2014, 11:17 PM	#234
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	ortho - we have figured you out. you probably prescribe maple syrup for everything. __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

07-26-2014, 01:59 AM	#235
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	Natch, maple syrup cures most things ... __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

07-26-2014, 07:29 AM	#236
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I revived it because for the first time NPR has reported on someone defending his own and the lives of others with a gun. That person is a doctor who works in a nuthouse local to our resident wrangler. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

07-26-2014, 07:44 AM	#237
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	http://abcnews.go.com/US/inside-furi...ry?id=24716727

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