Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 197

jujuwwhite · 11-29-2009, 07:11 AM

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jujuwwhite · 12-01-2009, 04:36 AM

Nancy Pelosi was touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy , in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur:

'You get out and check - you were driving.'

The chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Nancy ..

Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, smeared with lipstick, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.

My God, what happened to you?' asks Nancy .

The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.'

'What on earth did you say?' asks Nancy .

'I just knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them: 'I'm Nancy Pelosi’s chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow.'

capnhowdy · 12-01-2009, 06:05 AM

I'm ripping that for work today.

glatt · 12-01-2009, 08:23 AM

A wise man once said "THIS IS NOT THE POLITICS THREAD, PEOPLE."

Radar · 12-01-2009, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

A wise man once said "THIS IS NOT THE POLITICS THREAD, PEOPLE."

Not only that, the joke is in a previous post with Hillary Clinton so it's not only lame, it's tired too

classicman · 12-01-2009, 11:35 AM

So all political humor is forbidden? WTH? C'mon, thats still funny.

capnhowdy · 12-01-2009, 11:45 AM

Really.

monster · 12-01-2009, 11:52 AM

She's a politician?

lumberjim · 12-01-2009, 02:12 PM

....which also can be said of politics in general.

classicman · 12-01-2009, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radar

it's not only lame, it's tired too

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

....which also can be said of radar in general.

I agree

capnhowdy · 12-01-2009, 08:08 PM

I thought it was a good joke. She's a newb and NOT a politician. Can we ease up, people? Hell ... I'm almost afraid to invite someone here. If we don't want any new people, somebody tell me. You want to corner the Cellar with the regulars we have? Throw me a bone.

Radar... you don't run the Cellar. Shut the fuck up and ROLL with it. JFChrist!

skysidhe · 12-03-2009, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

I thought it was a good joke. She's a newb and NOT a politician. Can we ease up, people? Hell ... I'm almost afraid to invite someone here. If we don't want any new people, somebody tell me. You want to corner the Cellar with the regulars we have? Throw me a bone.

Radar... you don't run the Cellar. Shut the fuck up and ROLL with it. JFChrist!

and then some

toranokaze · 12-03-2009, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capnhowdy

Radar... shut the fuck up and ROLL

I'm glad to see you to getting along but droping X together what happened to the days when it just took kissing to make up.

monster · 12-01-2009, 08:14 PM

Q1: Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas:
Ans: No. You'll have turkey the same us the rest of us.

Q2: What's the most popular Christmas wine?
Ans: 'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'

Q3: Why do Canadians find turkey so popular at Christmas?
Ans: Because the weather warmer there.

Q4: Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party?
Ans: He's a fun guy to be with.

monster · 12-01-2009, 08:17 PM

Why is Christmas just like another day at the office?
You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

11-29-2009, 07:11 AM	#1
jujuwwhite Capnhowdy's #1 smasher Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rentz, GA Posts: 339	Is this how's it done? __________________ I don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every moment of it.

12-01-2009, 04:36 AM	#2
jujuwwhite Capnhowdy's #1 smasher Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rentz, GA Posts: 339	Nancy Pelosi was touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car. Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy , in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.' The chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old. 'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Nancy .. Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, smeared with lipstick, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face. My God, what happened to you?' asks Nancy . The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.' 'What on earth did you say?' asks Nancy . 'I just knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them: 'I'm Nancy Pelosi’s chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow.' __________________ I don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every moment of it.

12-01-2009, 06:05 AM	#3
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	I'm ripping that for work today. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

12-01-2009, 11:35 AM	#6
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	So all political humor is forbidden? WTH? C'mon, thats still funny. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

12-01-2009, 11:45 AM	#7
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Really. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

12-01-2009, 08:23 AM	#4
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	A wise man once said "THIS IS NOT THE POLITICS THREAD, PEOPLE."

12-01-2009, 11:52 AM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	She's a politician? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-01-2009, 02:12 PM	#9
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	....which also can be said of politics in general. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-01-2009, 08:08 PM	#11
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	I thought it was a good joke. She's a newb and NOT a politician. Can we ease up, people? Hell ... I'm almost afraid to invite someone here. If we don't want any new people, somebody tell me. You want to corner the Cellar with the regulars we have? Throw me a bone. Radar... you don't run the Cellar. Shut the fuck up and ROLL with it. JFChrist! __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

12-01-2009, 08:14 PM	#14
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Q1: Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas: Ans: No. You'll have turkey the same us the rest of us. Q2: What's the most popular Christmas wine? Ans: 'I don't like Brussels sprouts!' Q3: Why do Canadians find turkey so popular at Christmas? Ans: Because the weather warmer there. Q4: Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party? Ans: He's a fun guy to be with. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-01-2009, 08:17 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Why is Christmas just like another day at the office? You end up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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