Who has the most dysfunctional relative?

[Clodfobble]

I wanna hear your Thanksgiving stories.

Me, I've got a step-grandfather (married to my grandmother for some 30-ish years, but never accepted as anything resembling a paternal relative by anyone in the family.) He's a poet, which is to say he's earned several hundred dollars over the decades for poetry, supplemented by things like working at Kinko's and collecting disability and my grandmother's social security. He wears a yellow beret everywhere, gives away copies and booklets of his poems at every opportunity, including this Thanksgiving, and is liable to start reciting them if you're not careful.

The best quote from him this evening had to do with why one particular poem in this booklet he passed out to us was so special. "I had to be magical when I was writing that," he said. "I mean, I always have to be magical for my poetry, but I tried extra hard to be magical on that one. I made a vow to the muses that, in exchange for my poetic gifts, I would never take any name other than the one my mother gave me. That's important, you see, because as a Pagan there are many rituals in which you are given a new name. And it was sometimes awkward with people, but I just had to explain to them the vow I'd made, and how I needed to keep my one true name because I had to be magical all the time."