kids sneaking sweets. - Page 2

hideouse · 08-08-2006, 06:34 PM

You've been great, and I thank you for your comments. I expect we'll keep up the embargo until Halloween and then go back to some indulging. I think this came about through SWMBO discussing the subject with young Master 9 yr old.
Ibram, we've been tried a few times to manage an allowance but have'nt been very good at it. If we don't forget then Shorty does. Still working on it.
Beestie, I agree with your comments about things being difficult for grownups too. we have that conversation every few months with eldest and #2.

LabRat · 08-09-2006, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

~snip~ Its not easy but we agreed a while back that not keeping candy in the house was just depriving them of the opportunity to learn how to think it through and make the right decision under our guidance. ~snip~ we don't demonize candy and junk food. We just let the kids know that while candy and McDonald's are tasty, they are an occasional treat and we shouldn't pretend that our body can run on that stuff.

I totally 100% agree with you. Our daughter is 3.75 yrs old, and we have explained it like this: Proteins like chicken make big muscles so you are strong, carbohydrates like bread and cereal give you energy to run, fruits and vegetables give you vitamins so you can grow, and help your body fight germs to keep you from getting sick. Sweets are treats that if you eat too many, make you fat and slow because you don't have enough room to eat good stuff. I believe in total truth in our house

I have a bowl on top of the fridge with 'her' treats in it. M&M's, Twizzlers, Tootsie Pops etc. She knows that she gets some for eating her meal well, or doing something good. (picking up toys without being asked, etc.) We can leave things down where she can reach them, and not have to worry about them dissappearing. Her fruit snacks and fruit rollups are in the pantry where she can reach them, but so far we haven't had any trouble with her taking them without asking. She knows she won't get any later if she does!

Were lucky that we can use a 'No snacks if you are naughty' approach because she's got a sweet tooth the size of a basketball.

LabRat · 08-09-2006, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melidasaur

Sometimes, when kids feel ashamed about eating or their body image, they will resort to hiding food and eating it in private where they don't feel scrutinized.

I had not thought of this, thanks for pointing it out.

Good to think about if ANY behavior is hidden.

melidasaur · 08-10-2006, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat

I had not thought of this, thanks for pointing it out.

Good to think about if ANY behavior is hidden.

My dad is very good at making people feel bad for eating, so it has been some what of an issue for me and my siblings while growing up.

hideouse · 08-10-2006, 11:31 AM

My Dear Spouse has taken exception to my presentation of our circumstance. I have neglected to mention that we have always fed the family a variety of what we think are healthy and tasty snacks, specifically bananas, apples, grapes, oranges, grapefruit, popcorn, hummus, chips and salsa, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, etc., etc. the kids have a plentiful and varied diet. They ask for asparagus, oyster, salmon, brussel sprouts, kimchi, fried seaweed, God knows what else.
The eldest is _not_ body self conscious, of that I am certain. While we do know other families who have inadvertantly made their kids paranoid about over eating, I don't think we have that problem in our house.
I think he simply likes the sweets and decided that he wanted more. So not letting him teach himself over indulgence is my only real issue at the moment.

footfootfoot · 08-10-2006, 10:34 PM

Jeez, in our house SWMBO gets all concerned if inchling goes on a raisin binge.

He's had exactly one tootsie pop in his life, and one other random lollypop.

maybe had about a pint of ice cream in his life. He is a fruitbat however, and will eat a lot of fruit, but then suddenly goes off it and gets on a chicken or beef jag.

We don't really have junk in the house, occasionally we'll have midel ginger snaps and he'll want to freebase them. We usually tell him he has to wait until the "big hand" reaches the "king fisher" before he can have more.

99% of the time he is onto the next thing and isn't really hungry.

We had read that eating habits are formed very early so we exposed the inch to as many types of foods as we could early on. (Obviously leaving out the things he shouldn't have had as an infant like tuna, honey strawberries, etc)

Coming form the opposite direction, we just didn't include in his food universe thngs that we felt were not going to be best for him.

I've seen parents give their 35 pound kids entire ice cream cones. Do the math: if you weigh 175 pounds it is the equivalent of you eating 5 ice cream cones. That just ain't right.

What the f am I talking about?

hideouse · 08-11-2006, 06:34 AM

Now I 'm in trouble for using #1 son's real name on the intarweb. Someday I'll learn...

Sundae · 08-11-2006, 08:31 AM

I was in the Post Office today and in front of me were two mothers with children in buggies. The girl in question was about 2 and a half (old enough not to be in a buggy in my opinion) was bugging her mother. You know what it's like, "Mum? Mum. Mum? Mum!" After ignoring her for 5 irritating minutes while she chatted to her friend, the mother didn't engage in conversation with her daughter, or try to distract her - she launched straight into, "What is it? Do you want some crispies?" Well if the girl hadn't, she did now. While her friend watched her place, she went and bought a packet of Wotsits
Ingredients:

Quote:

Maize, vegetable oil, cheese flavour [cheese powder (7%) lactose (from milk), flavour enhancer (disodium 5’-ribonucleotide), colour (paprika extract), natural flavouring], salt, potassium chloride .

and a bottle of Robinson's Fruit Shoot (can't find a link, but it comes in a bottle with Not Suitable for Under 36 Months, and I know it contains Aspartame)

Both just opened and handed over.

It was about 11.25, which makes me wonder whether this would end up being her daughter's lunch. Surely a 21g packet of crisps isn't a suitable "snack" at that time of day?

I'm not suggesting this is the case in this thread! It is just hard to watch parents who use food as an alternative to a dummy (comforter?) to shut their children up and stop them being a nuisance.

Undertoad · 08-11-2006, 08:34 AM

Cheesy Poofs!!!

glatt · 08-11-2006, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

It is just hard to watch parents who use food as an alternative to a dummy (comforter?) to shut their children up and stop them being a nuisance.

We call a dummy a pacifier on this side of the Atlantic.

And that's another can of worms too. There are some parents who don't let their kids use pacifiers because use of them can become a crutch for kids and prolonged use will cause crooked teeth. Balance that against the comfort they provide the kid and who knows what the right answer is?

Griff · 08-11-2006, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hideouse

Now I 'm in trouble for using #1 son's real name on the intarweb. Someday I'll learn...

You can use the edit button or ask UT to take it out.

Jaydaan · 08-11-2006, 12:06 PM

I did not post this earlier, because most people have not dealt with the severity of my one son's actions... and sneaking food DOES NOT MEAN you child would EVER have the issues my one son does. Mine has severel disorders, and mental conditions... most childern do not have anything even close to this.... most kids are just being kids!
My oldest son stole food. He would sneak it into his room, and eat some... and make sure the rest was destroyed, wasted or went bad. We had a healthy diet and he was never deprived. Jello packets, whipping cream (not even made), juice powder would go missing along with peanut butter, fruit, loaves of bread etc...
We talked to our doctor about this, and he suggested at his age ( 4-5) it could be a control issue. So we let him make more choices: such as what pants to wear, what to fill his sandwich with ( peanut butter, or meat) if he wanted salt/pepper/butter etc... on his meal. We did not turn into a restaraunt, we simply gave him more control over the food he needed to eat. We were having veggies.. so am I cooking carrots, or corn?, for example.
We did this in all aspects, not just food, as we were told sneaking was usually one thing a small child could control in thier lives.

We went to a counsellor as well, because we were concerend when the issue got worse. The counsellor was suggesting that our son may be depressed, and using the sneaking to deal with other issues. He also suggested our son was " just getting used to his step father, and younger sibling. Perhaps he is doing this to get attention. Even negative attention is still attention" When it got worse, we started locking the pantry, and shopping for fresh items every other day, in oder to offset the cost of the wasted food. Locking the pantry was NOT done lightly, btw. But at the time it was the only thing any *professional* could suggest to keep food in the house longer than 6 hours.

When other things started going missing at about the age 9, we knew we needed even more help. Money, lighters, toys, movies etc... were being taken, and others brought in, and hidden in his room. This indicated to us, that this was no longer just a control issue, or an adjustement struggle. This was/is much more than that.. but thats not why I am posting. I am going to post some of our education tips... perhaps one of these items will help you in your handling of the situation. I found some of the "parent" training to be quite helpful.

Jaydaan · 08-11-2006, 12:20 PM

Handling the situation when your child is stealing:
Stealing often causes more concern to parents because it may happen outside the home and may affect other people. During the school years, stealing may be a sign of a problem, but it may also be a result of peer pressure and the need for the child to fit in. It is important to look at the whole situation.

Children under the age of 3 take things because they do not understand fully the difference between what is "mine" and what is not. They then may become possessive of their things and protect them. They do not steal with bad intentions.

Children between the ages of 3 and 7 begin to respect things that belong to others. However, this age group will trade property without regard to value if something else is wanted. The respect for property continues in the school-aged child.

By the time the child is 9, the child should respect the possessions of others and understand that stealing is wrong. Children in this age group may continue to steal because of several factors, including the following:

They may feel peer pressure and the need to fit in.
They may have low self-esteem.
They may not have any friends and are trying to "buy" their friends.
They may try to become good at stealing to feel proud of something they have done if they do not receive positive feedback from their parents.
When does stealing become a concern?
There are multiple situations that may cause concern. If any of these apply to your child, it is important to consult your child's physician:

an older child that steals and does not feel bad about it
a child who constantly steals
if other behavioral problems also exist in the child
Children older than age of 3 should be confronted with any lying or stealing, but it is important to remember that most of these behaviors are part of growing up and do not represent severe problems. Each child is unique, and your child's physician should be involved with any concerns.

This site if for more than just stealing the odd cookie... but it was a helpful start for our path.
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/taskforcepaper.pdf

Jaydaan · 08-11-2006, 12:24 PM

hmm seems thats the only article I have on my computer atm.... my appologies. I am sure there are many sites on the net that could explain more than I ever could.

xoxoxoBruce · 08-23-2006, 08:59 AM

Jaydann, usually if people's kids are having a problem they're aware of it, but not always. Helping to point out things to watch for and possible directions to find a solution can be a big help.

Hell, if it's a problem that applies to their kids,they should be willing to do the leg work. Especially since sometimes it's as easy as Google.

You done good.

08-08-2006, 06:34 PM	#16
hideouse Coronation Incarnate Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 91	Thanks folks You've been great, and I thank you for your comments. I expect we'll keep up the embargo until Halloween and then go back to some indulging. I think this came about through SWMBO discussing the subject with young Master 9 yr old. Ibram, we've been tried a few times to manage an allowance but have'nt been very good at it. If we don't forget then Shorty does. Still working on it. Beestie, I agree with your comments about things being difficult for grownups too. we have that conversation every few months with eldest and #2. __________________ If you need a straight line, I've usually got a few to spare.

08-10-2006, 11:31 AM	#20
hideouse Coronation Incarnate Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 91	Minor additional detail My Dear Spouse has taken exception to my presentation of our circumstance. I have neglected to mention that we have always fed the family a variety of what we think are healthy and tasty snacks, specifically bananas, apples, grapes, oranges, grapefruit, popcorn, hummus, chips and salsa, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, etc., etc. the kids have a plentiful and varied diet. They ask for asparagus, oyster, salmon, brussel sprouts, kimchi, fried seaweed, God knows what else. The eldest is _not_ body self conscious, of that I am certain. While we do know other families who have inadvertantly made their kids paranoid about over eating, I don't think we have that problem in our house. I think he simply likes the sweets and decided that he wanted more. So not letting him teach himself over indulgence is my only real issue at the moment. __________________ If you need a straight line, I've usually got a few to spare.

08-10-2006, 10:34 PM	#21
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Jeez, in our house SWMBO gets all concerned if inchling goes on a raisin binge. He's had exactly one tootsie pop in his life, and one other random lollypop. maybe had about a pint of ice cream in his life. He is a fruitbat however, and will eat a lot of fruit, but then suddenly goes off it and gets on a chicken or beef jag. We don't really have junk in the house, occasionally we'll have midel ginger snaps and he'll want to freebase them. We usually tell him he has to wait until the "big hand" reaches the "king fisher" before he can have more. 99% of the time he is onto the next thing and isn't really hungry. We had read that eating habits are formed very early so we exposed the inch to as many types of foods as we could early on. (Obviously leaving out the things he shouldn't have had as an infant like tuna, honey strawberries, etc) Coming form the opposite direction, we just didn't include in his food universe thngs that we felt were not going to be best for him. I've seen parents give their 35 pound kids entire ice cream cones. Do the math: if you weigh 175 pounds it is the equivalent of you eating 5 ice cream cones. That just ain't right. What the f am I talking about? __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

08-11-2006, 06:34 AM	#22
hideouse Coronation Incarnate Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 91	,,, Now I 'm in trouble for using #1 son's real name on the intarweb. Someday I'll learn... __________________ If you need a straight line, I've usually got a few to spare.

08-23-2006, 08:59 AM	#30
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Jaydann, usually if people's kids are having a problem they're aware of it, but not always. Helping to point out things to watch for and possible directions to find a solution can be a big help. Hell, if it's a problem that applies to their kids,they should be willing to do the leg work. Especially since sometimes it's as easy as Google. You done good. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

08-11-2006, 08:34 AM	#24
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Cheesy Poofs!!!

08-11-2006, 12:06 PM	#27
Jaydaan Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Vernon, BC, Canada Posts: 378	I did not post this earlier, because most people have not dealt with the severity of my one son's actions... and sneaking food DOES NOT MEAN you child would EVER have the issues my one son does. Mine has severel disorders, and mental conditions... most childern do not have anything even close to this.... most kids are just being kids! My oldest son stole food. He would sneak it into his room, and eat some... and make sure the rest was destroyed, wasted or went bad. We had a healthy diet and he was never deprived. Jello packets, whipping cream (not even made), juice powder would go missing along with peanut butter, fruit, loaves of bread etc... We talked to our doctor about this, and he suggested at his age ( 4-5) it could be a control issue. So we let him make more choices: such as what pants to wear, what to fill his sandwich with ( peanut butter, or meat) if he wanted salt/pepper/butter etc... on his meal. We did not turn into a restaraunt, we simply gave him more control over the food he needed to eat. We were having veggies.. so am I cooking carrots, or corn?, for example. We did this in all aspects, not just food, as we were told sneaking was usually one thing a small child could control in thier lives. We went to a counsellor as well, because we were concerend when the issue got worse. The counsellor was suggesting that our son may be depressed, and using the sneaking to deal with other issues. He also suggested our son was " just getting used to his step father, and younger sibling. Perhaps he is doing this to get attention. Even negative attention is still attention" When it got worse, we started locking the pantry, and shopping for fresh items every other day, in oder to offset the cost of the wasted food. Locking the pantry was NOT done lightly, btw. But at the time it was the only thing any professional could suggest to keep food in the house longer than 6 hours. When other things started going missing at about the age 9, we knew we needed even more help. Money, lighters, toys, movies etc... were being taken, and others brought in, and hidden in his room. This indicated to us, that this was no longer just a control issue, or an adjustement struggle. This was/is much more than that.. but thats not why I am posting. I am going to post some of our education tips... perhaps one of these items will help you in your handling of the situation. I found some of the "parent" training to be quite helpful.

08-11-2006, 12:20 PM	#28
Jaydaan Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Vernon, BC, Canada Posts: 378	Handling the situation when your child is stealing: Stealing often causes more concern to parents because it may happen outside the home and may affect other people. During the school years, stealing may be a sign of a problem, but it may also be a result of peer pressure and the need for the child to fit in. It is important to look at the whole situation. Children under the age of 3 take things because they do not understand fully the difference between what is "mine" and what is not. They then may become possessive of their things and protect them. They do not steal with bad intentions. Children between the ages of 3 and 7 begin to respect things that belong to others. However, this age group will trade property without regard to value if something else is wanted. The respect for property continues in the school-aged child. By the time the child is 9, the child should respect the possessions of others and understand that stealing is wrong. Children in this age group may continue to steal because of several factors, including the following: They may feel peer pressure and the need to fit in. They may have low self-esteem. They may not have any friends and are trying to "buy" their friends. They may try to become good at stealing to feel proud of something they have done if they do not receive positive feedback from their parents. When does stealing become a concern? There are multiple situations that may cause concern. If any of these apply to your child, it is important to consult your child's physician: an older child that steals and does not feel bad about it a child who constantly steals if other behavioral problems also exist in the child Children older than age of 3 should be confronted with any lying or stealing, but it is important to remember that most of these behaviors are part of growing up and do not represent severe problems. Each child is unique, and your child's physician should be involved with any concerns. This site if for more than just stealing the odd cookie... but it was a helpful start for our path. http://www.attachmentparenting.org/taskforcepaper.pdf

08-11-2006, 12:24 PM	#29
Jaydaan Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Vernon, BC, Canada Posts: 378	hmm seems thats the only article I have on my computer atm.... my appologies. I am sure there are many sites on the net that could explain more than I ever could.

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