Where is the line between loyalty to one's spouse and loyalty to one's self? - Page 2

BigV · 09-30-2007, 03:16 PM

bump.

Clodfobble · 09-30-2007, 04:16 PM

Is there any chance we can get even a hint of context here?

I mean, I suppose in the most generic terms... we're talking about a scenario where husband wants one thing, wife wants another, and it's such a divisive issue that it threatens the marriage? At that point it's not loyalty to the spouse vs. loyalty to self, it's loyalty to self vs. loyalty to the marriage, which the self also has a stake in.

limey · 09-30-2007, 04:21 PM

Big V, this is clearly an important question for you, but I don't think it can be set out in such vague terms. Please give us some context. Is this related to the time of year (it was an issue for you about a year ago, too)?

BigV · 09-30-2007, 05:36 PM

yes.

sorry.

I will provide some useful context, quite soon, just now, I can not.

Give me a minute.

xoxoxoBruce · 09-30-2007, 07:42 PM

Simple. You said I do, or I will, so now you'd better.

Undertoad · 09-30-2007, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Say, "Yes dear"....then do what you want. That's what my ex always did.

That's what I did by the end! But I was faced with dealing with a diagnosed obsessive-compulsive control freak, so it was a matter of self-preservation.

BigV · 09-30-2007, 09:01 PM

context.

the thread's old, I don't remember the original context.

the situation's old, the players are the same, the stakes are far far higher.

I am trying to change my head.

loyalty is not the right word anymore.

I have to change my level of trust, self confidence.. shit I'm afu.

lumberjim · 09-30-2007, 09:03 PM

maybe you should sit a few plays out.

BigV · 09-30-2007, 09:17 PM

good idea.

Who will sub for me?

Who will carry the ball forward?

Who will defend my goal?

Your suggestion is an excellent one. I need a second. A substitute. A backup. A friend.

monster · 09-30-2007, 10:41 PM

Get a counsellor

lookout123 · 10-01-2007, 01:03 AM

BigV, I don't know what to tell you because I don't know what you are going through. You know what I've been through though, so just know that we're here. and there. and, hell, this is the cellar, so we're everywhere.

09-30-2007, 03:16 PM	#16
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	bump. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

09-30-2007, 04:21 PM	#18
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Big V, this is clearly an important question for you, but I don't think it can be set out in such vague terms. Please give us some context. Is this related to the time of year (it was an issue for you about a year ago, too)? __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

09-30-2007, 05:36 PM	#19
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	yes. sorry. I will provide some useful context, quite soon, just now, I can not. Give me a minute. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

09-30-2007, 09:01 PM	#22
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	context. the thread's old, I don't remember the original context. the situation's old, the players are the same, the stakes are far far higher. I am trying to change my head. loyalty is not the right word anymore. I have to change my level of trust, self confidence.. shit I'm afu. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

09-30-2007, 09:03 PM	#23
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	maybe you should sit a few plays out. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

09-30-2007, 04:16 PM	#17
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Is there any chance we can get even a hint of context here? I mean, I suppose in the most generic terms... we're talking about a scenario where husband wants one thing, wife wants another, and it's such a divisive issue that it threatens the marriage? At that point it's not loyalty to the spouse vs. loyalty to self, it's loyalty to self vs. loyalty to the marriage, which the self also has a stake in.

09-30-2007, 07:42 PM	#20
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Simple. You said I do, or I will, so now you'd better.

09-30-2007, 09:17 PM	#24
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	good idea. Who will sub for me? Who will carry the ball forward? Who will defend my goal? Your suggestion is an excellent one. I need a second. A substitute. A backup. A friend. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

09-30-2007, 10:41 PM	#25
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Get a counsellor __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-01-2007, 01:03 AM	#26
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	BigV, I don't know what to tell you because I don't know what you are going through. You know what I've been through though, so just know that we're here. and there. and, hell, this is the cellar, so we're everywhere. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

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