Why oh why? - Page 2

BrianR · 11-29-2006, 10:58 PM

Go rent Bridget Jones's Diary

You'll feel better.

bluecuracao · 11-29-2006, 11:00 PM

Oh christ, Dana, you ARE hot. Women who approach men they think are interesting give off the serious confidence vibe, too. Some men can handle it, some cannot. Go for it, I say. If you "pick" someone yourself, you are most likely to get what you want!

Hippikos · 11-30-2006, 03:32 AM

Its all about signals. The way you dress, look, smile, move around.

The split-up probably inflected your attitude towards men unintentionally, thinking: I don't need men. They noticed that.

Now go out and have a good time.

Hoof hearted; would that be a 1963 split window? *he asked drooling*

Sundae · 11-30-2006, 08:05 AM

Dana, same thing has happened to me. All of a sudden I wasn't being approached any more. I went through phases of blaming it on my weight, but to be honest I'm over that and can accept that it's not the problem I thought it was. Okay I still need to lose it, but it's not going to hold me back.

Somehow all the men I find interesting are already in relationships, most of the long term. It's like a couple of years ago there was some sort of deadline announced that I didn't hear - "Get yourself a partner by the end of the year or face being single long term" I would rather be single than in an unhappy relationship (as I think I probably was at the time of the deadline) but honestly I would rather be happily settled snuggles, someone to talk to and hot sex.

Maybe if we wait a couple of years they'll all be getting divorced and we'll be the ones with the independence and flirting skills to clean up....?

skysidhe · 11-30-2006, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hippikos

Its all about signals. The way you dress, look, smile, move around.

The split-up probably inflected your attitude towards men unintentionally, thinking: I don't need men. They noticed that.

Now go out and have a good time.

Hoof hearted; would that be a 1963 split window? *he asked drooling*

Very insightful.

The moment I made a resolution to be 'open' someone walked in. So it's true Diana.

Hoof Hearted · 11-30-2006, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hippikos

Hoof hearted; would that be a 1963 split window? *he asked drooling*

Unfortunately...no. The '63 is from the second generation, mine is from the third. 1978 Silver Anniversary, just over 15,000 produced in the two-toned SA colors.

It seems attitude IS everything...
You know...both Hubby and I admitted to having given up on finding anyone when we found each other. Sometimes, I think if you look too hard, you tend to pass over many good oportunities from being too critical. If you just let it happen, it happens. You DO have to be receptive to it, and recognize it when you see it...maybe when a person relaxes, that is picked up by members of the opposite sex as being confident and/or available?

Dagney · 11-30-2006, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoof Hearted

It seems attitude IS everything...
You know...both Hubby and I admitted to having given up on finding anyone when we found each other. Sometimes, I think if you look too hard, you tend to pass over many good oportunities from being too critical. If you just let it happen, it happens. You DO have to be receptive to it, and recognize it when you see it...maybe when a person relaxes, that is picked up by members of the opposite sex as being confident and/or available?

I will TOTALLY agree with this statement.

Earlier this year, I had decided that it was my lot in life to be a single woman, and to be happy with that little bit of destiny. So, I started finding what it was in life that made ME happy - instead of trying to make everyone else around me happy. I decided to 'enter' society instead of standing on the fringes and watching everyone else, and I ended up finding someone that I hit it off with instantly - we met as friends, but quickly fell in love.

I truly think that 'wanting' someone so badly puts off an air of desparation that other people can sense. You may not realize it - and you may not even be desparate for someone in your life - however part of you subconsciously is searching for that 'other half' in every person that you meet, and that can be picked up on by other people.

That said, I recommend letting go - take each day for what it is, and make yourself happy - you may be surprised with who falls in your lap.

Kellie

85 days till the big M!

Sundae · 11-30-2006, 10:53 AM

I'm not looking.
I'm not desperate.
I'm not prepared to accept a point of view that suggests the reason I'm not approached at present is because I am giving off the vibe that I am desperate.

Pie · 11-30-2006, 03:52 PM

No, it's the opposite -- you've got the vibe that you're not interested.
So they (subconsciously) decide not to bother you.

Shawnee123 · 11-30-2006, 03:54 PM

I give a vibe that I am not interested because I am 100%, completely, unequivocally, positively, absolutely...NOT interested!

Urbane Guerrilla · 11-30-2006, 04:16 PM

Another word for it is "turn on the charm." You can consciously do that. You take an interest in them -- and guess what happens next!

There is also a phenomenon noticed throughout the animal kingdom: just about the minute one she-bird finds a he-bird suitable -- other she-birds do so also, and show it. Seems to work with people too; no wonder you were were noticing the "good ones" that were married. Either the "he" gives off a vibe that says of itself that attraction would work, or there's a "what's she know I don't about this guy?" factor.

DanaC · 11-30-2006, 05:26 PM

The reality is that I am not actually looking for, or wanting to be in a relationship. I am happy being single and content with my life as it is right now. Not that I have made some decision that I never will want that again, just not at the moment. I was just slightly perturbed at not being noticed:P Y'know, just cause a woman doesn't want a relationship, doesn't mean she doesn't want to get noticed once in a while

It hadn't even really occurred to me as an issue until Judah and John asked the question why not? At which point I became aware that a long time had passed since a guy gave me the eye :P I started to wonder if I had reached that 'invisible' stage already!

Aliantha · 11-30-2006, 11:13 PM

Dana...do you regret starting this thread now? lol

btw, I think Griff has someone in mind for you even if you're not interested.

Griff · 12-01-2006, 05:51 AM

I'm so helpful.

Shawnee123 · 12-01-2006, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I give a vibe that I am not interested because I am 100%, completely, unequivocally, positively, absolutely...NOT interested!

I changed my mind. I had the coolest dream last night about this intricate game (it was much like the mystery computer games I play) but it was live and took hours and there was a really really really cool guy in the dream. Too bad he doesn't exist. But the funny thing was, towards the end of the dream, this guy took on a fellow Cellarites persona (his persona as I see it, anyway.)

Whose? Not tellin'!

11-29-2006, 10:58 PM	#16
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Go rent Bridget Jones's Diary You'll feel better. __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

11-30-2006, 03:32 AM	#18
Hippikos Flocci Non Facio Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In The Line Of Fire Posts: 571	Its all about signals. The way you dress, look, smile, move around. The split-up probably inflected your attitude towards men unintentionally, thinking: I don't need men. They noticed that. Now go out and have a good time. Hoof hearted; would that be a 1963 split window? he asked drooling __________________ Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

11-30-2006, 08:05 AM	#19
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Dana, same thing has happened to me. All of a sudden I wasn't being approached any more. I went through phases of blaming it on my weight, but to be honest I'm over that and can accept that it's not the problem I thought it was. Okay I still need to lose it, but it's not going to hold me back. Somehow all the men I find interesting are already in relationships, most of the long term. It's like a couple of years ago there was some sort of deadline announced that I didn't hear - "Get yourself a partner by the end of the year or face being single long term" I would rather be single than in an unhappy relationship (as I think I probably was at the time of the deadline) but honestly I would rather be happily settled snuggles, someone to talk to and hot sex. Maybe if we wait a couple of years they'll all be getting divorced and we'll be the ones with the independence and flirting skills to clean up....? __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-30-2006, 10:53 AM	#23
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I'm not looking. I'm not desperate. I'm not prepared to accept a point of view that suggests the reason I'm not approached at present is because I am giving off the vibe that I am desperate. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-30-2006, 03:52 PM	#24
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	No, it's the opposite -- you've got the vibe that you're not interested. So they (subconsciously) decide not to bother you. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

11-29-2006, 11:00 PM	#17
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Oh christ, Dana, you ARE hot. Women who approach men they think are interesting give off the serious confidence vibe, too. Some men can handle it, some cannot. Go for it, I say. If you "pick" someone yourself, you are most likely to get what you want!

11-30-2006, 03:54 PM	#25
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I give a vibe that I am not interested because I am 100%, completely, unequivocally, positively, absolutely...NOT interested! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

11-30-2006, 04:16 PM	#26
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	Another word for it is "turn on the charm." You can consciously do that. You take an interest in them -- and guess what happens next! There is also a phenomenon noticed throughout the animal kingdom: just about the minute one she-bird finds a he-bird suitable -- other she-birds do so also, and show it. Seems to work with people too; no wonder you were were noticing the "good ones" that were married. Either the "he" gives off a vibe that says of itself that attraction would work, or there's a "what's she know I don't about this guy?" factor. __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

11-30-2006, 05:26 PM	#27
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	The reality is that I am not actually looking for, or wanting to be in a relationship. I am happy being single and content with my life as it is right now. Not that I have made some decision that I never will want that again, just not at the moment. I was just slightly perturbed at not being noticed:P Y'know, just cause a woman doesn't want a relationship, doesn't mean she doesn't want to get noticed once in a while It hadn't even really occurred to me as an issue until Judah and John asked the question why not? At which point I became aware that a long time had passed since a guy gave me the eye :P I started to wonder if I had reached that 'invisible' stage already!

11-30-2006, 11:13 PM	#28
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Dana...do you regret starting this thread now? lol btw, I think Griff has someone in mind for you even if you're not interested. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

12-01-2006, 05:51 AM	#29
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I'm so helpful. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

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