Poop - Page 2

Hippikos · 12-30-2006, 07:23 AM

Ah....them (in)famous doodies...

Elspode · 12-30-2006, 11:28 AM

Is The Cellar ready for turd pictures?

What a silly question.

Beestie · 12-30-2006, 03:05 PM

A poop rod!

Brilliant!!

Thanks, Brucejamin Franklin!!

Q baby · 12-30-2006, 04:53 PM

dude, i can look at a lot of different types of pictures, but i still find my right nostril cringing at the thought of it. or maybe it's just at the thought of the experience of [i]finding[i] something like that. i can totally understand why monkeyboy is cranky. yuk.

be-bop · 12-30-2006, 05:14 PM

It's funny peoples reactions to "poop" some are horrified others are neither bothered by it.
having worked looking after old people in residents homes I could tell some horror stories but i won't however i will tell you a story.
Many moons ago I worked in an elecrtro plating factory and various maintenance tradesmen worked there.Plumbers,Electricians etc,one night working nightshift the young plumber came up to me and said "You have to see this" dragging me to the toilets..
We both had a kinda bizzare sense of humour so he must have thought i would have found this funny.
there on the cubicle floor was a turd,"What about that then? 11 1/2 inches without breaking "he was so proud .
I for once was speechless,guess it takes all sorts..

wolf · 12-30-2006, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be-bop

there on the cubicle floor was a turd,"What about that then? 11 1/2 inches without breaking "he was so proud .

I've seen that type of pride, but thankfully, not the output. Robert the crazy guy who sleeps on the porch was regaling me with the tale of his own 14" production the other night.

piercehawkeye45 · 12-30-2006, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be-bop

It's funny peoples reactions to "poop" some are horrified others are neither bothered by it.

Back when I was in high school, I was english class talking to someone screwing off when three girls come in on the verge of tears making a big scene. They were going to the bathroom and supposedely their was a piece of poop that was around a foot long, unbroken as well. They, of course, had to tell this story to the whole class and they actually had a picture of it. Easy way to take a class off-topic for a good ten minutes...

bluecuracao · 01-01-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piercehawkeye45

They, of course, had to tell this story to the whole class and they actually had a picture of it. Easy way to take a class off-topic for a good ten minutes...

These girls are obviously my long-lost sisters.

Monkeyboy has gotten quite a bit of mileage off of this horror. So far he's used the Poop Story as a late excuse, and as an out of a strenuous situation. Deservedly so, I say.

Good fortune for you all--I fear my USB cord is lost, so I'll have to order a new one.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-02-2007, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

As a public service (you paying attention Judge?), I'll give you the answer.
Lay some toilet paper across the floaters, it will drag them down with it.

Hoof Hearted · 12-31-2006, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be-bop

...the young plumber came up to me and said "You have to see this" dragging me to the toilets..

...there on the cubicle floor was a turd,"What about that then? 11 1/2 inches without breaking "he was so proud .

The bold portion is what caught my attention. He PLANNED to do his business on the floor hoping for the "big one" so he could show it to someone. I hope he cleans up the ones that don't pass muster...

JayMcGee · 12-30-2006, 08:30 PM

Throughout History, mankind has strived to better himself......

from the Pyramids to the Roman Empire, from Byzanteum to the Pharoes and Rome.......... transending the Dark Ages, victororious over the Black Death, Mankind reaches forever upwards....

... to produce the ultimate toothbrush with a built-in computer.....

Aliantha · 12-31-2006, 12:35 AM

TYPES OF POO

Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?

Teflon Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.

King Kong Poo:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.

Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.

Urbane Guerrilla · 01-03-2007, 08:23 PM

The Wish Poo is also known as the "Here I Sit, All Broken Hearted..."

At least among the [Poop]house Poet set.

DucksNuts · 01-04-2007, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla

The Wish Poo is also known as the "Here I Sit, All Broken Hearted..."

At least among the [Poop]house Poet set.

I so hang around with the wrong crowd

barefoot serpent · 01-04-2007, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluecuracao

Poor Monkeyboy is understandably traumatized at the moment, and he'll never be able to look at Poop Guy the same way again.

just don't start calling him: MudMonkey boy.
:p

12-30-2006, 07:23 AM	#1
Hippikos Flocci Non Facio Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In The Line Of Fire Posts: 571	Ah....them (in)famous doodies... __________________ Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

12-30-2006, 11:28 AM	#2
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Is The Cellar ready for turd pictures? What a silly question. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

12-30-2006, 03:05 PM	#3
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	A poop rod! Brilliant!! Thanks, Brucejamin Franklin!! __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

12-30-2006, 08:30 PM	#11
JayMcGee Cardigan-wearing man Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Much Binding In The Marsh Posts: 1,082	Throughout History, mankind has strived to better himself...... from the Pyramids to the Roman Empire, from Byzanteum to the Pharoes and Rome.......... transending the Dark Ages, victororious over the Black Death, Mankind reaches forever upwards.... ... to produce the ultimate toothbrush with a built-in computer..... __________________ I like wearing cardigans...... my current favourite is an orange cable-knit with real leatherette buttons.

12-31-2006, 12:35 AM	#12
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	TYPES OF POO Ghost Poo: You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the toilet. Where is it? Teflon Poo: So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it. Goo Poo: This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the toilet. Second Thoughts Poo: You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise... there's more to come. Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo: This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard. Weight Watchers Poo: You poo so much you lose several pounds. Right Now Poo: You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your pants down. King Kong Poo: This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well. This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house. Cork Poo: Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there, floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it? Wet Cheeks Poo: This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish. Wish Poo: You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo. Cement Block Poo: You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed. Snake Poo: This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least three feet long. Morning After Poo: Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house (normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside to use the bathroom. Mexican Food Poo: Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum stops burning. Boo Hoo Poo: Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the stitches or go for the fuller figure. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

12-30-2006, 04:53 PM	#4
Q baby I'll just put the tip in Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: NC Posts: 39	dude, i can look at a lot of different types of pictures, but i still find my right nostril cringing at the thought of it. or maybe it's just at the thought of the experience of [i]finding[i] something like that. i can totally understand why monkeyboy is cranky. yuk.

12-30-2006, 05:14 PM	#5
be-bop Operations Operative Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: scotland/uk Posts: 664	It's funny peoples reactions to "poop" some are horrified others are neither bothered by it. having worked looking after old people in residents homes I could tell some horror stories but i won't however i will tell you a story. Many moons ago I worked in an elecrtro plating factory and various maintenance tradesmen worked there.Plumbers,Electricians etc,one night working nightshift the young plumber came up to me and said "You have to see this" dragging me to the toilets.. We both had a kinda bizzare sense of humour so he must have thought i would have found this funny. there on the cubicle floor was a turd,"What about that then? 11 1/2 inches without breaking "he was so proud . I for once was speechless,guess it takes all sorts..

01-03-2007, 08:23 PM	#13
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	The Wish Poo is also known as the "Here I Sit, All Broken Hearted..." At least among the [Poop]house Poet set.

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