The Hollow Girl

[DanaC]

Ohhh Jerusalem, my favourite poem/song. Always chokes me a little. When we buried my friend Alan about a month back, that was one of the songs we sang, broke my heart. Buried a good socialist to a socialist anthem.

I always have a melody in my head when I write.....not necessarily a 'tune' but some kind of melody to make the words flow. Poetry or prose, there's always an underlying melody.

Sundae, that chorus you came up with was really nice. It reminded me of a song, but I'm damned if i can pin down which one. You should try your hand at song writing (if you haven't already).

[Sundae]

Glad you said that - I was worried you might think it was disrespectful
I wouldn't compare my doggerel to poetry
But a complex verse needs a very simple chorus, and I can do simple

No, I can't write lyrics because I can't imagine music
Am okay when I have it - we used to play Add An Extra Verse when our systems went down at work, but the structure was already set (to a current song) and the easy way out was to be rude/ topical

I'd never be able to sing Jerusalem at an emotionally charged event
Bring me my bow of burning gold raises all the hairs on my arms just thinking about it

[DanaC]

It's the 'Dark satanic mills' that usually gets me. At Alan's funeral though it was 'Bring me my bow of burning gold' that floored me. Alan spent his life fighting the good fight. The old soldiers from the Royal British Legion (Alan was a member, as am I, as a supporter) sent an honour guard. The standard bearer lowered the standard to the sound of the Last post and then we sang Jerusalem.....the Parish Church is a big place, but it was standing room only.....so many socialists and trade unionists there to bury a comrade. He was my friend but he was also a comrade. Was very moving....I still miss him.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by DanaC

I always have a melody in my head when I write.....not necessarily a 'tune' but some kind of melody to make the words flow. Poetry or prose, there's always an underlying melody.

would you hum a few bars? or do you lay it down to a song that already exists? I do that sometimes when i write....just to assist with meter. I've written a couple to 'lithium'

it WOULD be cool to turn it into music, ya know. one thing to talk about it.....but i have ways of getting things done sometimes....

You'd have to be interested, tho, dana....as it IS your baby.

[DanaC]

I just find that when I come up with words they form a tune; not an existing one usually, just a kind of melody that sort of automatically comes with the first few lines. Different every time and usually very simple. I don't think of a tune and then set the words to it, it just sort of happens. It's the way I've always written, prose or poetry. Very occassionally I'll have an existing tune in my head when I'm writing, but more often the tune and the words come at the same time.

lj if you think this one could work to music, I'd be happy for you to play around with it (happy and very flattered :P).

[cowhead]

the structure w/ music would be better.. then again that's the guitar player in me. I like it though.. sorry just read the initial piece (prefer to not read other thought on the matter, just a first impression and all.... ) although it seems to be a piece set to music.. redundant much?

[Cyclefrance]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Ohhh Jerusalem, my favourite poem/song. Always chokes me a little. When we buried my friend Alan about a month back, that was one of the songs we sang, broke my heart. Buried a good socialist to a socialist anthem.

'Jerusalem' certainly has an inbuilt power all its own. Did you ever sing a hymn called 'Non Nobis Domine' - it was one I remember from school days and, for me, it had a similar strength to it - so few hymns did/do.

[lumberjim]

this fucking song:


is making it difficult for me to arrive at a melody for this.

-hoping to exorcise it by playing it.