Happy Father's Day

[BigV]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

What that song doesn't say is, blood is not a guarantee compatibility. Sometimes distance preserves domestic tranquility.

I'm curious, did your dads settle for overcoming their obstacles pragmatically or always striving to find the most perfect solution. Example: happy they got the tree down and cut up... or lament, in retrospect, they could have done it faster, with less wasted motion?

Definitely pragmatists. And I got it from them in spades. I'm the anti perfectionist. I grok kaizen. I dig it. But there's room for rest too. Neither one was much of a lamenter. I musta got all my whine from my mom's side. Stoic would be appropriate. I am somewhat less so.

As to the song, for me, it is a strong reminder that while my kids are young, that I, the adult, have the obligation to make room in my life for them. Especially while they're young. I strongly see that I'll reap what I sow, and that wanting to reap a strong loving bond that I better plant those seeds, and not those of uncaring disinterest.

[skysidhe]

Happy Father's Day to those who are.
What I want is for mine to stop treating me like I'm a mentally challenged two-year-old.

[lumberjim]

i wish my dad hadnt moved down south. he's cool to hang with.

[Ibby]

I'm not doing anything for my poppa. I'm not a fan of his.

I mean, I'm gonna tell him happy fathers day, and maybe spend some time with him, and if i go by the apple store or the electronics store I might get him some cheap trinket or another but... yeah.

[Undertoad]

My dad died when I was 3.

[Pie]

I've had his love for 32 years, but my father may not be alive for next Father's day. I talked with him today, but he's not big on gifts, and he lives three time zones away.

He's starting chemotherapy RSN and might be in a transplant scenario sooner rather than later.

I don't know what to do.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Bummer, Pie. Call him, write him, visit if you can... let him know you love him. It will be good for both of you. I wish you strength and we'll be here if you need us.

[Cyclefrance]

Just finished celebrating - me being the dad, that is (well actually it more or less coincides with another event). Went to Woodlands Park Hotel (see Iowa commute thread) for lunch. Surreal event. No.1 son is on his way back from Le Mans (goes there every year to view the 24-hour race), while No.2 son was refereeing an under-11 year-olds' football (that's soccer) tournamment. So it was just me, Mrs CF and the M-I-L. M-I-L commented as we arrived: 'There seem to be a lot of children here, I thought it was Father's Day.' Food was good....

[Cloud]

First, let me wish all the fathers here Happy Father's Day!

Second, I was watching tv yesterday and the question was posed, "What kinds of things do you do with your Dad?" (the answer was, watch tv, play ball, do homework).

It made me think--what did I do with my dad? The answer--not a whole lot. My parents were older and didn't do a lot of the traditional kid activities--I never played ball with my dad, for instance. Mostly he just worked. But he did save my life when I was burned (as well as give me life in the first place).

So, Dad, in memory of you.

Now I want to know what YOU did or do with your Dad!

[Sundae]

What did I do with my father?
Damn near everything.

My parents epitomised the Give Your Life Up For Your Kids Ethic in that they worked shifts so that one of them was always home. This meant they spent little quality time together for about nine years, but we had the benefit of both a mother and a father in our lives - some friends with married parents still had a weekend Dad. He got us up one week and was there when we came home from school the next week. Mum's shifts were more complicated, but one week in three we also had Dad when we came home for lunch (we had Mum for lunch one week and we ate at school on the third).

So while growing up I had a Daddy who I saw cook, clean, sew etc. He was very sporty and (long list of household chores permitting!) would race us in the field outside the house, play badminton, frisbee, teach us to ride our bikes. He bathed us, put us to bed, read bed-time stories.

He was the only one who could get me to take medicine - I'd play my Mum up, but my Dad's silent trust got it past my gag reflex. He also taught me my times table by dint of repetition - they didn't know at the time I had dyscalculia and Mum was fooled by my ability in English to think I was just playing up.

When I was an extremely squeamish adolescent he videoed good horror films to watch with me. On the nights Mum was working lates (15.00-23.00) we'd settle down to watch a film and he taught me to listen to the music to gauge the mood, and to watch out for the downbeat to prepare for the coming shock. Anything gory he'd warn me to look away.

Sorry - anyone who knows me knows I adore my father. I just jumped on the chance to say it again

[DanaC]

Happy Dad's day to all the dads.

Something I haven't said to Dad. I had every intention of phoning him today. Just didn't feel like it in the end. Now, it's late and I feel like a heel for not phoning him. So, I'll do what I often end up doing and phone him tomorrow. On a good note, he's finished moving into his permanent new residence; a really nice little bungalow, by the sound of it. It's a good job he tells mum stuff when he rings, or I wouldn't have a clue:P

What do I do with my Dad? Not a lot. A conversation about books, an argument about politics....from time to time.

What did I do with my Dad? Ah well, that's a whole other story. I adored my Dad. He was funny and charming and handsome and clever. And he used to take me on midnight walks in the park to look for bats and hedgehogs. He knew the names of all the birds; he knew what all the noises were. He told ghost stories. One winter, he built me the most amazing sledge. Built it at work in the workshop, on his breaks, through the night. A chair like the ones you get in waiting rooms, with its legs removed, atached to metal runners with a steering system and everything. When mum was working late shifts as a nurse, he'd go on to day shift and it'd be dad cooking our tea when me and our kid got home.

A lot of the time though.....he wasn't so present in our days. Working at night, sleeping in the day...rushing out to work as we settled down to tv. And then getting older and realising how much of him was hidden. The thing I most remember about Father's Day, growing up, was sitting with my big brother making cards. Now that's something I miss. Sometimes, when being a grown up gets too fraught, I think I'd sell my soul to be able to just sit at the kitchen table, with my big brother, making Father's day cards.

[kerosene]

This year, my husband, Dakota had is kids on father's day for the first time in a couple of years. His daughter is 8 and his son is 5. They are good kids, but being encouraged to look toward their step-dad as their father by their mother. His daughter and I planned this great day for him, including breakfast in bed, time together, popsicles and a movie. She and her brother wrote him poems and letters and drew him pictures telling him why they love him. It was touching, this morning, when Dakota started to cry. He was so moved by this because he has never had a father's day like this. With his family making it all about him.

We are fortunate we get to spend the entire summer with his kids. It feels good to see them getting closer, again.

[Clodfobble]

My dad came over to the house for dinner tonight. We planned it a few days ago. At the time, neither one of us actually realized that today was going to be Father's Day.

My father treats me like shit most of the time, he did for most of my life, when he was there.
He says he loves me a lot, but his actions say a lot.