Sitting on the fence....

[Beest]

As I understand from anecdotal evidence (I.e. i read it on the internet, so it must be true), in the U.S. the guy would be 100% liable as the father, no matter what agreements were made prior, in writing, by a lawyer whatever. Cases of guys being made to pay support where the woman deliberately got pregnant by the guy without his knowledge, and where the guy was told it was his so took on the father role then later found out it wasn't, but becasue he had assumed responsibilty he was legally bound to continue.

No idea on the legal technicalities on Oz, but the guy should be aware that the handshaking ( ) agreement may not be worth the paper it's written on, and he could be making a life comittment.
Seems especailly difficult if they are friends so he is likely to have some casual contact with the child, she needs to be aware that somewhere down the line he may start to feel more paternal and have the legal right to be involved, get partial custody, maintenance for the child from her .

It may seem nice and neat now, but it's people, things get complicated.

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

Say you know someone, who has 2 children, but always wanted 3.....always...like saw it in her *dreams* forever and doesnt seem to be able to be feel *done* with the 2 children that she has ...

I....just....dont....know......

Yes you do. She already has 3 children to take care of (including herself). Move on.

[queequeger]

While I agree with most of the people on here (it could be chancy, and there are a lot of risks involved with it), it's no different than having your FIRST child. What if your husband eventually turns into a sleaze ball? What if the child comes out retarded? What if you get a divorce and a custody battle ensues? What if the child turns into a shithead... or worse, a republican?

There are always so many reasons NOT to do something, the important thing is to make sure the benefit outweighs them. If your friend really does want a third child (workload and all), then get it the smart way, from a trusted friend. At least with a friend you know in advance the personality. There's no other way to get that assurance (even if there are horror stories about the guy changing his mind).

One other thing, why do so many seem to equate more children with someone who doesn't know what they're doing? NoBoxes and UG both imply (unless I misunderstand) that more children instantly means a less responsible parent. Just a curiosity (maybe it stems from the idea of 'welfare queens' that Reagan so lovingly stirred up)

P.S. I'd like to point out (as some already have) that you don't have to have sex with someone to get knocked up. Little plastic jars do just fine. Failing that, there's always ramicans from TGIFriday's.

Originally Posted by queequeger

NoBoxes and UG both imply (unless I misunderstand) that more children instantly means a less responsible parent.

You misunderstand. The predetermined number of children constitutes a selfish, childlike, self indulgence (with children, the end justifies the means). This aspect of her character is distinct from her ability to own up to the responsibilities of parenthood. The potential outcomes are irrelevant to this assessment.