Kid's sports - parent's perspective needed

[lookout123]

you're all sick. sick i tell you.

[Undertoad]

I missed it. Dur durrrrrr

[lookout123]

i think the term you were looking for is De de deee. i missed it the first time too.

[ZenGum]

UT, you should have bluffed me.

"Ahh, I see you are beginning to understand my humour..."

The more I think of SD's suggestion the more I like it. I'd love to watch it.
Only I think the Japanese national team plays the same way. Solid defense, very good midfield, but strikers who would rather dribble into the corner and cross or back-pass...

[Undertoad]

No, if I said "dee de de" I would be stealing a comic's joke and that would be bad.

[lookout123]

your mention of the back pass made me lol (just a little) at my son in last week's game. he and one of our neighbor boys have been on the same team for about two years and always play in the neighborhood. they are a fantastic midfield tandem. we're talking 6 year olds with blind passes and heel kicks. they just know where the other one will be.

somewhere in the last two years he and the neighbor just started doing this neat little thing where my kid would quickly turn around and drop a hard pass straight back and then take off running down the field past the defenders who'd caged him in. the neighbor would pop up and and one touch lob the ball downfield and my kid would run up on it for an easy point. worked every time and it was fun to watch them just create their own little tricks.

well, the neighbor is taking this session off so it has kind of thrown my son off. saturday my kid is moving up the field and realizes he has little chance of making it through the 3 kids in front of him and there is no support for a forward pass. he turns fast and makes a really hard back pass and takes off downfield. except there was no neighbor - just one really freaked out defender who can't figure out why my son tried to shoot at his own goal. he kicked it out of bounds and then started yelling at lil lookout. lil lookout is just like WTF? why didn't you lob it?
I was still laughing about it after the game when i had to sit them both down and explain what had just happened from each player's POV. they were both like "OOOH, you wanted me to..."
man i love coaching kids.

[SteveDallas]

Sigh. One day people will understand my humor . . . .

I should mention, I was once on the wrong end of a 20-0 score in a soccer game. The opposing coach sent a letter of apology later, which we weren't appreciative of.

[lookout123]

ok, there is something close to the topic. did you find the letter insulting? or were you pissed that he allowed the score to get that out of hand?

[ZenGum]

In this spirit, I am wary of going soft on the opposition unless it is done very subtly. To not be taken seriously is more of an insult than to be clobbered. To be given an easy consolation point implies pity and contempt, and casts doubt on any good things you did manage to do.

I'd rather be beaten 12-1 and know my score was genuine, than be beaten 8-2 because the other team pulled players off.

But then I am neither a kid nor a parent. Just a big bunch of opinions with access to a computer.

[SteveDallas]

Originally Posted by lookout123

ok, there is something close to the topic. did you find the letter insulting? or were you pissed that he allowed the score to get that out of hand?

All of the above

Let me see what I can do.. bearing in mind that this happened 25 years ago!

1. The root problem was that we were in the wrong conference. We were a private school, and we were in a conference with other private schools. The problem was we were small--there were between 6 and 15 students in each grade; take maybe 30-40 students in grade 9-12 in any given year, take 50% to get the male population, and you see that the odds of getting a spectacular soccer team were not great. (We did have several excellent players though.) Our competitors were larger schools in larger cities.

So we were used to losing. We were not used to losing by 20-0 however. (Even so, we were not the conference doormat. There was one other team we could reliably pencil in as two wins each season. Though they were larger than we were, they were also in a relatively rural area.)

2. The school itself was not well-liked. Almost all of our opponents were bigger and better funded than we were. Have you ever known somebody with a lot more money than you have? Of course, we all do. Maybe a rich guy could buy or sell you for his lunch money. But some of them will come up to you shake your hand, ask how you're doing, and at least pretend that we're all in this together. Some of them you can just tell are wondering why they have to live on the same planet with scuzz like you. This particular school, as an institution, came off like category b).

3. Several of their players were overheard during the game to say "hey stop that, Coach told us to stop shooting" to their teammates.

4. The "apology" basically boiled down to "I'm sorry I didn't pull my first string sooner." If I had been coaching our team, I would have filed the letter rather let my team see it. Our coach chose to read it to us, and it didn't do anybody a bit of good.

[Undertoad]

I would take 'em to play a team two age groups older, so they get their ass handed to them, just to show them what it's like.

I would make sure they remain focused -- and humble. I would make sure everybody was involved.

And then I would recruit some 1s and 2s. Project kids, with some good skills who lack the whole package.


Of course I have an emotional bias in saying that. I was a young kid with a love for the game, and great ball skills, but no nerve. Smaller than the rest of them, I was great in drills, but in games I would get flustered a lot and not make good plays. My coaches were all part-timers who could give a crap. Because of my age I got cornered into being the smallest player on a u18 team, lost all my friends who were still u16, and I rarely got into games, was flustered all the time and had a really terrible time. All I needed was somebody to recognize my situation and guide me a little bit, but no.

[lookout123]

damn, that sucks all the way down the line.

line item 3 is why i won't restrict the kids' freedom to shoot. it is a game and they came to play. knowing that the other team is beating you with oone hand tied behind their backs only makes it worse, i think.

i think i've come to the conclusion that there really isn't anything to do other than rotate the kids through positions and make sure that their sportsmanship is at least on par with their scoring ability. (if not better)

[lookout123]

that sucks UT. i hear stuff like that all the time and it just sucks. being a good coach isn't that damn hard. all you have to do is realize that not all kids have the same strengths but every kid has SOME strength. find that strength put them in a position to capitalize on that strength and once they've gained some confidence, nudge them a little further out of their comfort zone.

i've got one girl on my team that literally cried the first time i put her on the field because she was terrified she'd make a mistake and people wouldn't like her. i made her a defender and told her all she has to do is kick the ball to the outside of the field if the ball comes close to her. she did that for a couple of weeks and got some confidence. soon she was chasing the ball down and shutting the other players down really well. i just put her in as a forward last week and she loved it. she even scored. she was all cryiing and stuff because she couldn't believe she scored. i had to sub her out so she could go hug her dad. it was pretty cool watching the confidence grow.

[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by lookout123

i've got one girl on my team that literally cried the first time i put her on the field because she was terrified she'd make a mistake and people wouldn't like her. i made her a defender and told her all she has to do is kick the ball to the outside of the field if the ball comes close to her. she did that for a couple of weeks and got some confidence. soon she was chasing the ball down and shutting the other players down really well. i just put her in as a forward last week and she loved it. she even scored. she was all cryiing and stuff because she couldn't believe she scored. i had to sub her out so she could go hug her dad. it was pretty cool watching the confidence grow.

:wipes tear from eye:

Two thoughts: how did this week's game go?
And, the strength of your team is not through individual brilliance but having gelled really quickly. As the season goes on, the other teams should improve in this regard and close the gap a little.

[lookout123]

just got back from this week's game. ouch.

i only had 6 players show up. apparently had 2 kids out of town, 1 kid in his peewee football championship game, 1 case of food poisoning. that was 2 of my 3 best strikers and my 1st choice keeper. anyway, it takes 7 to fill out a team so we played a player short and no subs for the whole game. that's a lot to ask of 6 and 7 year olds, but they did great. we played one of my old teams - with 14 players.

24 minutes per period with no subs. i did the same thing in my game last night so i know how it burns. going into the break we were tied at 3 each. we were leading 4-3 with 10 minutes left and then my kids just ran out of legs. they showed a lot of heart though, they ran it out and finished at a very respectable 7-5.

i'm pretty satisfied all the way around. they played short against a team that subbed fresh legs every three minutes. the other team has some real talent too, so i'm pretty doggone happy with my kids. they now know they are beatable so that is a good thing. but they played with heart so it wasn't a soul crushing defeat.