Mutual Break Up - Page 2

xoxoxoBruce · 04-13-2008, 11:08 AM

Pssst. It's but-in-ski.

freshnesschronic · 05-01-2008, 02:15 PM

so yeah

I'm doing good with getting over my X, things are on the up and up. Not completely over but I'm doing very well, moving on great, but there's this weird thing...
I keep checking her out every time I see her which is so weird because I don't consciously remember checking her out when we were together. Is this normal?

How come my first thought of seeing her in summer clothes is "dayuuuuum" !!!

smoothmoniker · 05-01-2008, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

I keep checking her out every time I see her which is so weird because I don't consciously remember checking her out when we were together. Is this normal?

How come my first thought of seeing her in summer clothes is "dayuuuuum" !!!

already hitting that = bored with it

cannot have = inflamed desire

classicman · 05-01-2008, 04:06 PM

Wow - ain't that the truth! We all want what we can't have - like me and cigarettes or your ex (not that I want her) but anything really. Its just natural to desire that which is forbidden...

Sundae · 05-01-2008, 04:51 PM

That's what got me into a damaging yo-yo relationship with my ex. We both fancied eachother rotten, were quite possessive and both highly sexed. So we split up, thought they were with someone else, freaked out, got together, remembered it didn't work, split up, thought they were interested in someone, had sex, remembered we didn't get along... repeat ad nauseum. For 7 years.

Check her out, but don't take it any further. You had your chance, time to move on now.

smoothmoniker · 05-01-2008, 05:01 PM

Or, shag her rotten, but in the middle, call her by her roommates name. Then, she'll take care of the "never getting back together again" part for you!

Spectacle · 05-02-2008, 12:46 AM

You don't know what you got til it's gone.
You want most what you can't have.

P.S. Sex withdrawal sucks too, if you suck at one night stands or being a man slut. Or any type of slut.

classicman · 05-02-2008, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spectacle

P.S. Sex withdrawal sucks too, if you suck at one night stands or being a man slut. Or any type of slut.

Not into one night stands - at all.... not a man slut - at all....

Bummer.

piercehawkeye45 · 05-05-2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

so yeah

I'm doing good with getting over my X, things are on the up and up. Not completely over but I'm doing very well, moving on great, but there's this weird thing...
I keep checking her out every time I see her which is so weird because I don't consciously remember checking her out when we were together. Is this normal?

How come my first thought of seeing her in summer clothes is "dayuuuuum" !!!

That is normal.

freshnesschronic · 05-19-2008, 02:23 AM

Do you guys enjoy hearing all of this college drama? Is real life (real life I mean pay bills, 35-50, rear kids, take care of aging parents) drama comparable to college/high school drama? I think there's a big difference between high school and college.

Anyway, so continues the saga of this thread.
So since we broke up, about 2 weeks later there's this guy we both know. A mutual "friend" though heavy acquaintance is more accurate, for me at least. Well I started getting the impression he was making a move in. And since we just ended a 3+ year relationship I find this VERY inappropriate. So I told her yo this dude is trying to get at you and told him to yo dude fucking chill, she was like "no he's not, seriously he's not" and he was like "dude I respect man law I would never do that ok?" She said "I'm not trying to get with anyone either, ok? I have no feelings for him, I told him that."

So I believed this. I mean we had a 3 year relationship built on trust and love, and I still cared for her so I let it be. But for movie purposes, just a couple of days ago she tells me she and him are together. What a naive retard I am. I'm not mad because it's him, or because she got a new boyfriend. I'm mad because I got fucking played, fucking tricked, straight up lied to and disrespected. I knew she'd get a new boyfriend, she's an attractive girl. The dude (whom I think is ugly as fuck and she can do better) isn't even really the problem either, it's just his fucking no respect timing that burns my blood. And for them to both deny anything going to happen and nothing is going on and then for it to materialize not even a month after denying it. SHIT SON. So yeah I call her a slut on a regular basis when I refer to her and him a douchebag. So yeah, what was a cool-mutual-supposed-to-be-very good-friends-end-of-the-relationship-deal, has now turned into an ugly movie drama.

Some people man. Fuck.

DucksNuts · 05-19-2008, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Not into one night stands - at all.... not a man slut - at all....

Bummer.

Dammit...another dwellar I cant sleep with

Sundae · 05-19-2008, 06:01 AM

Fresh you're not going to want to hear this, but...

Deep breath.

It is not up to you to dictate who falls for whom.
You are NOT with your ex any more. Having a new boyfriend does not make her a slut. If she was lying down with every man who walked past and had cum dripping down her legs onto the sidewalk you might be justified in using that word, but she is not and you are not.

I doubt they were intending to lie to you when they denied anything happening - they were probably denying it to themselves at the time. And after all, your reaction is no doubt one of the reasons they continued to deny it.

I know your feelings have been hurt. But this is not about you.
I am truly sorry they have been hurt though, and as a situation it does suck. Still, you'll never feel worse about it than you do now - things can only get better.

Oh and the drama does decrease as you get older. Partly because you stop seeing every situation only from the inside. Many of the dramas of youth are self-inflicted and you just don't have the energy as you get older!

Aliantha · 05-19-2008, 07:33 AM

Well for some people the drama decreases. There are heaps of people who thrive on drama their whole lives.

Clodfobble · 05-19-2008, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

Do you guys enjoy hearing all of this college drama? Is real life (real life I mean pay bills, 35-50, rear kids, take care of aging parents) drama comparable to college/high school drama? I think there's a big difference between high school and college.

It's an interesting blast-from-the-past, for one thing. We all went through it, and it's good to remember what it used to be like. Also, you do a pretty good job of taking advice when you ask for it, so people like getting to impart their wisdom.

The drama does decrease for most people, but a lot of it just becomes different drama with more serious consequences. Instead of an ex-girlfriend who starts dating someone else, it's an ex-wife who gets re-married and tells the kids to call him "dad," or a coworker who gets you reprimanded for something they fucked up, or a mother-in-law who won't shut up about how you're raising the kids all wrong... But like Sundae said, one of the big differences is how you react to these things. You just get too tired to care as much. It's not drama if you shrug it off.

And yeah, about your current situation: you're way overreacting. She didn't cheat on you, and she's not under some obligation to "mourn" you for some period of time. Try to keep in mind that they're not pretending to like each other just to piss you off--it's not about you. It's perfectly fair for you to have your feelings hurt, many people would, but you don't get to expect things from either of them, and calling them names only makes you look bad.

Go on a date with someone new. You'll feel much better.

Undertoad · 05-19-2008, 12:30 PM

IIRC you really wanted to control her when you were in the relationship.

Now that you're out, you still do.

04-13-2008, 11:08 AM	#16
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Pssst. It's but-in-ski. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-01-2008, 04:06 PM	#19
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Wow - ain't that the truth! We all want what we can't have - like me and cigarettes or your ex (not that I want her) but anything really. Its just natural to desire that which is forbidden... __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-01-2008, 04:51 PM	#20
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	That's what got me into a damaging yo-yo relationship with my ex. We both fancied eachother rotten, were quite possessive and both highly sexed. So we split up, thought they were with someone else, freaked out, got together, remembered it didn't work, split up, thought they were interested in someone, had sex, remembered we didn't get along... repeat ad nauseum. For 7 years. Check her out, but don't take it any further. You had your chance, time to move on now. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-01-2008, 05:01 PM	#21
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	Or, shag her rotten, but in the middle, call her by her roommates name. Then, she'll take care of the "never getting back together again" part for you! __________________ to live and die in LA

05-02-2008, 12:46 AM	#22
Spectacle Observing the Wine Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 85	You don't know what you got til it's gone. You want most what you can't have. P.S. Sex withdrawal sucks too, if you suck at one night stands or being a man slut. Or any type of slut. __________________ I see. Last edited by Spectacle; 05-02-2008 at 12:50 AM. Reason: P.S.

05-01-2008, 02:15 PM	#17
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	so yeah I'm doing good with getting over my X, things are on the up and up. Not completely over but I'm doing very well, moving on great, but there's this weird thing... I keep checking her out every time I see her which is so weird because I don't consciously remember checking her out when we were together. Is this normal? How come my first thought of seeing her in summer clothes is "dayuuuuum" !!!

05-19-2008, 02:23 AM	#25
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	Do you guys enjoy hearing all of this college drama? Is real life (real life I mean pay bills, 35-50, rear kids, take care of aging parents) drama comparable to college/high school drama? I think there's a big difference between high school and college. Anyway, so continues the saga of this thread. So since we broke up, about 2 weeks later there's this guy we both know. A mutual "friend" though heavy acquaintance is more accurate, for me at least. Well I started getting the impression he was making a move in. And since we just ended a 3+ year relationship I find this VERY inappropriate. So I told her yo this dude is trying to get at you and told him to yo dude fucking chill, she was like "no he's not, seriously he's not" and he was like "dude I respect man law I would never do that ok?" She said "I'm not trying to get with anyone either, ok? I have no feelings for him, I told him that." So I believed this. I mean we had a 3 year relationship built on trust and love, and I still cared for her so I let it be. But for movie purposes, just a couple of days ago she tells me she and him are together. What a naive retard I am. I'm not mad because it's him, or because she got a new boyfriend. I'm mad because I got fucking played, fucking tricked, straight up lied to and disrespected. I knew she'd get a new boyfriend, she's an attractive girl. The dude (whom I think is ugly as fuck and she can do better) isn't even really the problem either, it's just his fucking no respect timing that burns my blood. And for them to both deny anything going to happen and nothing is going on and then for it to materialize not even a month after denying it. SHIT SON. So yeah I call her a slut on a regular basis when I refer to her and him a douchebag. So yeah, what was a cool-mutual-supposed-to-be-very good-friends-end-of-the-relationship-deal, has now turned into an ugly movie drama. Some people man. Fuck.

05-19-2008, 06:01 AM	#27
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Fresh you're not going to want to hear this, but... Deep breath. It is not up to you to dictate who falls for whom. You are NOT with your ex any more. Having a new boyfriend does not make her a slut. If she was lying down with every man who walked past and had cum dripping down her legs onto the sidewalk you might be justified in using that word, but she is not and you are not. I doubt they were intending to lie to you when they denied anything happening - they were probably denying it to themselves at the time. And after all, your reaction is no doubt one of the reasons they continued to deny it. I know your feelings have been hurt. But this is not about you. I am truly sorry they have been hurt though, and as a situation it does suck. Still, you'll never feel worse about it than you do now - things can only get better. Oh and the drama does decrease as you get older. Partly because you stop seeing every situation only from the inside. Many of the dramas of youth are self-inflicted and you just don't have the energy as you get older! __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-19-2008, 07:33 AM	#28
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Well for some people the drama decreases. There are heaps of people who thrive on drama their whole lives. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

05-19-2008, 12:30 PM	#30
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	IIRC you really wanted to control her when you were in the relationship. Now that you're out, you still do.

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