Elbows on the table - Page 2

TheMercenary · 08-08-2008, 01:32 PM

Interesting discussion.

My Mom and Dad were pretty strict about it when we were growing up as well. Things went like this: Kids (5 of us) were responsible to set the table, usually fell on me or my sister as we were the youngest and more likely to be hanging about the kitchen when we were going to have dinner. You could not be late for dinner unless you had been formally excused from dinner or had written permission from the pope. No one would eat or serve til Dad and everyone else sat down and only after grace was said. Then things were passed, and always to the left only, never to the right. You never took the last helping without asking permission. You had to clean your plate of all food before you could leave the table and you could not leave until everyone finished or you would be in trouble. You did not leave the table unless you asked for permission, which was not always granted. No talking with food in your mouth. Zig-zag technique was mandatory, although it did not have a name back then, you just did it that way. All meat was to be cut into bite sized bits before eating. Shirts and shoes were required, no hats, no hats on in the house for that matter. No elbows on the table, "Elbows off the table Mable, this is not a horses stable". Use of the napkin was mandatory and in your lap when not in immediate use. No arguments at dinner. Dishwashing duty was rotated among all five by two's, one wash, one dryer/put awayer (no electric dishwashers). Anyone who failed to finish their food sat at the table for hours until said food was eaten. It was fairly strict. Things relaxed as more and more kids went off to college.

Dad was a Naval Officer and the High School Principal.

Us, not so strict. We are lucky to have a family meal as busy as kids are now days. As the kids are off and gone to college we do enjoy a sit down more now than before when they come home.

BigV · 08-08-2008, 01:50 PM

What a revealing post.

TheMercenary · 08-08-2008, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV

What a revealing post.

It all changed significantly when I turned about 16. Three were gone from home, middle child moved back in at the age of 20 something because he pretty much failed at everything he tried. Dad was on his 3 job and drinking pretty heavily, mom was trying to hold things together, and I moved to another state to live with my brother as I was out of control at home and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Education was very important. Everyone was expected to go to college, everyone did, not everyone finished with a degree. Only me and the oldest brother went to college and in the military and both of us have advanced degrees. Somehow or another a month before HS graduation (after living with my brother for the last two years of HS) I changed my mind and did not join the Navy as an enlisted man but chose to go to college and get my degree. It was all up hill after that and 20 years later, in '02 I retired from the Army with an advanced degree and skill that gives me a healthy earning, with a life time of retirement pay.

glatt · 08-08-2008, 02:38 PM

My wife has a thing about guys wearing hats inside. She especially looks down on guys who wear baseball hats to a diner, for example. I never used to notice it, but now I also see it when I go out to eat. It's rubbed off a bit on me.

Chocolatl · 08-08-2008, 02:11 PM

My family was never crazy about table manners. Then again, we rarely ate at the table. Meals were more of an "every man for himself" type of event, with each person eating whatever they wanted whenever they got hungry.

That said, elbows were usually okay on the table before or after you were eating, but not during. I do have have a habit of leaning my forearms on the edge of the table while I eat, though. Is that considered rude, as well?

BigV · 08-08-2008, 02:37 PM

Revelations abound!

Curious about "somehow or another..." Seems like that kind of MAJOR choice, or perhaps, minor choice with Major effects would be a big deal.

I know for me, entering college was like any other school transition. Like 13th grade. I had been indoctrinated since before I could resist that I would go to college. End of discussion. Actually, there wasn't and "discussion" at all. It was more like...a foregone conclusion.

I freely confess I repeated such indoctrination as a parent myself. Proud of it, too.

HungLikeJesus · 08-08-2008, 02:52 PM

When we see someone wearing a hat in a restaurant, my wife says, "Where's Tony Soprano when you need him?"

DanaC · 08-08-2008, 03:04 PM

Just as long you don't put that hat on a bed, we'll all be fine.

HungLikeJesus · 08-08-2008, 03:12 PM

Bob: Hats. Okay? Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone.
Diane: That makes two of us.
Nadine: Why a hat?
Bob: Because that's just the way it is, sweetie.

TheMercenary · 08-08-2008, 03:17 PM

If you sit on it would that make it an ass-hat and because you don't want to be one of those you avoid putting it where you can sit?

Shawnee123 · 08-08-2008, 03:23 PM

A bunch of these damn people had their elbows on the table.

Shawnee123 · 08-08-2008, 03:25 PM

But these chicks know how to do it right!

TheMercenary · 08-08-2008, 04:00 PM

Was it just me or do all the people in the UK eat with the fork in the left hand points down and keep the knife in the right hand, because that is the way I remember it in HK and on my visits 2 years ago.

Cloud · 08-08-2008, 04:01 PM

we had a whole thread about the knife and fork etiquette:

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=1...ght=knife+fork

For me, I was always told that elbows on the table were okay after you've finished. don't know why.

The one that gets me is the napkin. Put the napkin in your lap and use it to wipe your mouth. Not your hand, or your shirt, but the napkin. Is that so hard?

Merc, not sure my upbringing was too similar, but we had very formal meals always. My dad was a proper Southern gentlemen. We ate with sterling silver utensils, properly set out with a full place setting (no matter what we were eating) and cloth napkins at every meal. Later in life my mother persuaded dad that paper napkins were okay at lunch.

We never had any kind of informal meals like spaghetti or tacos for dinner. It was always meat, starch/vegetables, salad, bread and butter. And I had to eat every bite, or I'd get the Victory Garden story.

ETA: In my entire adult life, I don't think I've ever had a dining room table. And the silver is sitting in a closet. somewhere.

TheMercenary · 08-08-2008, 04:06 PM

We did China and Silver only on an occassional Sunday or for every holiday, Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving.

08-08-2008, 01:32 PM	#1
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Interesting discussion. My Mom and Dad were pretty strict about it when we were growing up as well. Things went like this: Kids (5 of us) were responsible to set the table, usually fell on me or my sister as we were the youngest and more likely to be hanging about the kitchen when we were going to have dinner. You could not be late for dinner unless you had been formally excused from dinner or had written permission from the pope. No one would eat or serve til Dad and everyone else sat down and only after grace was said. Then things were passed, and always to the left only, never to the right. You never took the last helping without asking permission. You had to clean your plate of all food before you could leave the table and you could not leave until everyone finished or you would be in trouble. You did not leave the table unless you asked for permission, which was not always granted. No talking with food in your mouth. Zig-zag technique was mandatory, although it did not have a name back then, you just did it that way. All meat was to be cut into bite sized bits before eating. Shirts and shoes were required, no hats, no hats on in the house for that matter. No elbows on the table, "Elbows off the table Mable, this is not a horses stable". Use of the napkin was mandatory and in your lap when not in immediate use. No arguments at dinner. Dishwashing duty was rotated among all five by two's, one wash, one dryer/put awayer (no electric dishwashers). Anyone who failed to finish their food sat at the table for hours until said food was eaten. It was fairly strict. Things relaxed as more and more kids went off to college. Dad was a Naval Officer and the High School Principal. Us, not so strict. We are lucky to have a family meal as busy as kids are now days. As the kids are off and gone to college we do enjoy a sit down more now than before when they come home. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012! Last edited by TheMercenary; 08-08-2008 at 01:38 PM.

08-08-2008, 01:50 PM	#2
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	What a revealing post. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

08-08-2008, 02:37 PM	#6
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Revelations abound! Curious about "somehow or another..." Seems like that kind of MAJOR choice, or perhaps, minor choice with Major effects would be a big deal. I know for me, entering college was like any other school transition. Like 13th grade. I had been indoctrinated since before I could resist that I would go to college. End of discussion. Actually, there wasn't and "discussion" at all. It was more like...a foregone conclusion. I freely confess I repeated such indoctrination as a parent myself. Proud of it, too. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

08-08-2008, 02:52 PM	#7
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	When we see someone wearing a hat in a restaurant, my wife says, "Where's Tony Soprano when you need him?" __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

08-08-2008, 03:12 PM	#9
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	Bob: Hats. Okay? Hats. If I ever see a hat on a bed in this house, man, like you'll never see me again. I'm gone. Diane: That makes two of us. Nadine: Why a hat? Bob: Because that's just the way it is, sweetie. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

08-08-2008, 02:38 PM	#4
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	My wife has a thing about guys wearing hats inside. She especially looks down on guys who wear baseball hats to a diner, for example. I never used to notice it, but now I also see it when I go out to eat. It's rubbed off a bit on me.

08-08-2008, 02:11 PM	#5
Chocolatl Glutton for Gluttony Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,409	My family was never crazy about table manners. Then again, we rarely ate at the table. Meals were more of an "every man for himself" type of event, with each person eating whatever they wanted whenever they got hungry. That said, elbows were usually okay on the table before or after you were eating, but not during. I do have have a habit of leaning my forearms on the edge of the table while I eat, though. Is that considered rude, as well?

08-08-2008, 03:04 PM	#8
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Just as long you don't put that hat on a bed, we'll all be fine.

08-08-2008, 03:17 PM	#10
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	If you sit on it would that make it an ass-hat and because you don't want to be one of those you avoid putting it where you can sit? __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

08-08-2008, 03:23 PM	#11
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	A bunch of these damn people had their elbows on the table. Attached Images __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

08-08-2008, 03:25 PM	#12
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	But these chicks know how to do it right! Attached Images __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

08-08-2008, 04:00 PM	#13
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Was it just me or do all the people in the UK eat with the fork in the left hand points down and keep the knife in the right hand, because that is the way I remember it in HK and on my visits 2 years ago. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

08-08-2008, 04:01 PM	#14
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	we had a whole thread about the knife and fork etiquette: http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=1...ght=knife+fork For me, I was always told that elbows on the table were okay after you've finished. don't know why. The one that gets me is the napkin. Put the napkin in your lap and use it to wipe your mouth. Not your hand, or your shirt, but the napkin. Is that so hard? Merc, not sure my upbringing was too similar, but we had very formal meals always. My dad was a proper Southern gentlemen. We ate with sterling silver utensils, properly set out with a full place setting (no matter what we were eating) and cloth napkins at every meal. Later in life my mother persuaded dad that paper napkins were okay at lunch. We never had any kind of informal meals like spaghetti or tacos for dinner. It was always meat, starch/vegetables, salad, bread and butter. And I had to eat every bite, or I'd get the Victory Garden story. ETA: In my entire adult life, I don't think I've ever had a dining room table. And the silver is sitting in a closet. somewhere. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" Last edited by Cloud; 08-08-2008 at 05:13 PM.

08-08-2008, 04:06 PM	#15
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	We did China and Silver only on an occassional Sunday or for every holiday, Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)