Divorce: It's not whether you fight, but how you fight - Page 2

Shawnee123 · 10-05-2010, 09:03 AM

Geez. See, that makes no sense to me.

I wonder, too, if it's like a lot of things: back in the day perhaps some laws were needed to protect the children from the deadbeats...but it went way far the other way and common sense went right out the window. It's kind of like unions (see what I did thar? Unions? Union?)

Then you have alimony! WTF is alimony? You want to live in the manner to which you've become accustomed? Then get a fucking job, this isn't 1850 anymore.

I don't know. Kids aren't weapons, that's all I really know.

classicman · 10-05-2010, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

If this couple had His $ + Her $ to pay for one household when they were married, and then after the divorce they are spending His $ + Her $ to pay for two households and legal fees, there is clearly not going to be enough money to go around for anyone. Even if it's divided evenly, everyone loses out.

Thats my point - don't make it any worse by using every single thing as a weapon. There really are clear winners in every divorce though - the lawyers who drag shit out and bill by the hour.

When I got divorced, I was the only income. (One of the reasons for the divorce)
There was a large lump sum payout to settle all the crap at once, avoid multiple court dates, additional atty fees... and save our kids from being dragged into court as "witnesses" (WTF?!?!?!?!) ANYWAY.
That money was blown inside of a year and right back to court I went...
Can't win even when you lose. Oh, and I'm still paying that loan off...

xoxoxoBruce · 10-05-2010, 09:55 AM

You know whats worse, at least here, when you get a divorce there's no law governing how it'll work. The county divorce lawyers and judges get together and decide how it will work in that county. Hello, they make it up! You don't suppose the rules they make up would happen to maximize profits do you?

Shawnee123 · 10-05-2010, 09:59 AM

Amen sistah...ahem, I mean brothuh.

classicman · 10-05-2010, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

You know whats worse, at least here, when you get a divorce there's no law governing how it'll work. The county divorce lawyers and judges get together and decide how it will work in that county.

It gets even better. If one spouse is unhappy with the ruling, they can move to another county and start the process all over again with the laws in the new county.

(totally effed up)

Shawnee123 · 10-05-2010, 10:15 AM

Moan. Groan.

It's not going to change. People are for the most part basically selfish and dumb. Finger pointing and being right and winning have always been more important than any unselfish outcome (for most) no matter what it is you're talking about.

classicman · 10-05-2010, 10:18 AM

Not me, not at all... I was just sharing something I learned a couple weeks ago.
I had no idea that after the courts decide and the situation is settled that one party can just move and try it all again.

Shawnee123 · 10-05-2010, 10:19 AM

I didn't know that either. How can that be? Ugh...bad situation.

monster · 10-05-2010, 10:45 AM

I think that one thing that ofter gets overlooked by non-custodial parents who have to pay child support is that the costs of looking after those children often increases after the divorce. So maybe a guy who earns $95 a week only used to have to pay $65 of that to support his kids Maybe his wife paid some too. They split, but suddenly the grocery bill goes up per person because the family is buying in smaller quantities, the utilities bills do not change even though his body is not longer there to be heated, and in all likelihood, childcare and take-out costs will either go up or her income will go down because it's much harder to juggle the kids' sick days and doctors' appointments and school activities when there's only one person available to deal with it.

And yes, the kids do understand it.

classicman · 10-05-2010, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Or how about: each person has to show they are more than capable of making a living and supporting their children on their own, should the time present itself. Also, each person must write an essay about one unselfish act they've committed in their lifetime.

Not always applicable - still some single income households out there. Many want one parent home to actually raise their own children.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Then you have alimony! WTF is alimony? You want to live in the manner to which you've become accustomed? Then get a fucking job, this isn't 1850 anymore.

What about typically the woman, who agreed to forgo a career to raise the kids and then for whatever reason, gets divorced. Isn't it only fair to receive some compensation until such time as she can perhaps get educated and or trained in some way to make a living and support herself and the kids? To expect someone to become instantly self-reliant isn't realistic - IMO.

Shawnee123 · 10-05-2010, 11:55 AM

As to the first point: It IS relevant if, in the case of tragedy, you can't, or won't, do ANYTHING. I'll let you in on a secret you may already know: human beings are very resilient. My grandmother worked her full time job in a machine shop (making very little) and took in laundry to make ends meet. They were barely scraping by, but they did scrape by.

As to the second: bullshit. Everyone can do something besides spread their legs (or seep sperm.) If they can't they might reconsider adding to the population. Get educated before daddy spends 25 grand on your wedding.

Can't have it both ways: you either abhor users or you don't. YOu either dislike the "eye-batters" or you will fight for their cause until the bitter end. You either support the welfare system in all its faults precisely BECAUSE of the cause you just popped onto, or you think EVERYONE should use their bootstraps.

Or, you can change your viewpoints to cause fights or gain recognition.

Shawnee123 · 10-05-2010, 12:04 PM

Let me add:

Kids are not weapons. Kids are not trophies either.

glatt · 10-05-2010, 12:07 PM

nah, but they are pretty awesome.

jimhelm · 10-05-2010, 12:09 PM

I think classics point is dead on, shaw. You seem to be carrying some other fight into this thread. This is kind of a touchy subject for me.... but...

alimony is not welfare. I can't really improve on classic's point. Nor do I feel comfortable elaborating. Just, don't be so hasty to judge with such a broad brush, please. You never know who you're offending.... especially with something like this.

Shawnee123 · 10-05-2010, 12:11 PM

@ glatt:

I agree! Which is precisely the point of my first post in this thread, which got twisted by the twister, as usual.

I love children. Do not think that my lack of them makes me freaking Witchie-poo or something.

That is a forever untold story.

@ jim: I respectfully disagree, but let me elaborate. AGREED upon alimony is one thing: taking people to court to destroy them and take all you can is the work of a bad human being.

Sorry if I offended...my brush isn't nearly as broad as it seems post by post. A whole picture thing works better with me, as I don't change on whims.

If there is personal stuff in MY posts, so be it. Just as the personal creeps into your posts and classic's posts and anyone's posts. Difference being: I think you, jim, are a pretty good person...and certainly don't think you bad because you don't fit into the nutshells.

Sorry all.

10-05-2010, 09:03 AM	#16
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Geez. See, that makes no sense to me. I wonder, too, if it's like a lot of things: back in the day perhaps some laws were needed to protect the children from the deadbeats...but it went way far the other way and common sense went right out the window. It's kind of like unions (see what I did thar? Unions? Union?) Then you have alimony! WTF is alimony? You want to live in the manner to which you've become accustomed? Then get a fucking job, this isn't 1850 anymore. I don't know. Kids aren't weapons, that's all I really know. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-05-2010, 09:55 AM	#18
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	You know whats worse, at least here, when you get a divorce there's no law governing how it'll work. The county divorce lawyers and judges get together and decide how it will work in that county. Hello, they make it up! You don't suppose the rules they make up would happen to maximize profits do you? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-05-2010, 09:59 AM	#19
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Amen sistah...ahem, I mean brothuh. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-05-2010, 10:15 AM	#21
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Moan. Groan. It's not going to change. People are for the most part basically selfish and dumb. Finger pointing and being right and winning have always been more important than any unselfish outcome (for most) no matter what it is you're talking about. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-05-2010, 10:18 AM	#22
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Not me, not at all... I was just sharing something I learned a couple weeks ago. I had no idea that after the courts decide and the situation is settled that one party can just move and try it all again. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-05-2010, 10:19 AM	#23
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I didn't know that either. How can that be? Ugh...bad situation. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-05-2010, 10:45 AM	#24
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I think that one thing that ofter gets overlooked by non-custodial parents who have to pay child support is that the costs of looking after those children often increases after the divorce. So maybe a guy who earns $95 a week only used to have to pay $65 of that to support his kids Maybe his wife paid some too. They split, but suddenly the grocery bill goes up per person because the family is buying in smaller quantities, the utilities bills do not change even though his body is not longer there to be heated, and in all likelihood, childcare and take-out costs will either go up or her income will go down because it's much harder to juggle the kids' sick days and doctors' appointments and school activities when there's only one person available to deal with it. And yes, the kids do understand it. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-05-2010, 11:55 AM	#26
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	As to the first point: It IS relevant if, in the case of tragedy, you can't, or won't, do ANYTHING. I'll let you in on a secret you may already know: human beings are very resilient. My grandmother worked her full time job in a machine shop (making very little) and took in laundry to make ends meet. They were barely scraping by, but they did scrape by. As to the second: bullshit. Everyone can do something besides spread their legs (or seep sperm.) If they can't they might reconsider adding to the population. Get educated before daddy spends 25 grand on your wedding. Can't have it both ways: you either abhor users or you don't. YOu either dislike the "eye-batters" or you will fight for their cause until the bitter end. You either support the welfare system in all its faults precisely BECAUSE of the cause you just popped onto, or you think EVERYONE should use their bootstraps. Or, you can change your viewpoints to cause fights or gain recognition. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby Last edited by Shawnee123; 10-05-2010 at 12:07 PM.

10-05-2010, 12:04 PM	#27
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Let me add: Kids are not weapons. Kids are not trophies either. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-05-2010, 12:07 PM	#28
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	nah, but they are pretty awesome.

10-05-2010, 12:09 PM	#29
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	I think classics point is dead on, shaw. You seem to be carrying some other fight into this thread. This is kind of a touchy subject for me.... but... alimony is not welfare. I can't really improve on classic's point. Nor do I feel comfortable elaborating. Just, don't be so hasty to judge with such a broad brush, please. You never know who you're offending.... especially with something like this.

10-05-2010, 12:11 PM	#30
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	@ glatt: I agree! Which is precisely the point of my first post in this thread, which got twisted by the twister, as usual. I love children. Do not think that my lack of them makes me freaking Witchie-poo or something. That is a forever untold story. @ jim: I respectfully disagree, but let me elaborate. AGREED upon alimony is one thing: taking people to court to destroy them and take all you can is the work of a bad human being. Sorry if I offended...my brush isn't nearly as broad as it seems post by post. A whole picture thing works better with me, as I don't change on whims. If there is personal stuff in MY posts, so be it. Just as the personal creeps into your posts and classic's posts and anyone's posts. Difference being: I think you, jim, are a pretty good person...and certainly don't think you bad because you don't fit into the nutshells. Sorry all. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

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