Coping Mechanisms

[Griff]

She's got the "why" part covered, but that does not eliminate the loss to her. I'm with flint on the aspect of her never over-turning this belief, it brings to mind some dream interpretation stories a nun at school told my daughter's class, some people really believe this stuff for the long haul. It does put too much pressure on her relationship with her son though. That could be the time-bomb, but then she can always have another dream...

[classicman]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

When life throws curve-balls at us it's common, after attending to immediate damage control, to sit back and reflect on our lives. How did I get here, what did I do right or wrong, what choices/decisions did I make? It's those moments that denial dissolves and reality suddenly comes into focus.

This is exactly what happened to me... The realization that there is no answer as to why. The next step came after further reflection and the realization of "why" doesn't matter. It doesn't change where one is, nor change the future.

I've come to the point of trying to make the best of a horrible situation and to take those things which I am able to recognize as *positives* which have come from this and appreciate them.
Life is irreparably altered. There is no changing that. Whatever coping mechanisms she uses may be temporary or permanent.
I had to *shut down* parts of my mind in a sense to deal with that which I could. As I was able, I started dealing with more of my new reality. Hopefully your friend will do the same.