About Abuse

[Aliantha]

I don't know what you'd be expected to do, and I doubt you'd do anything other than what you wanted anyway.

Personally, I just wish you'd ease up. You don't have to post something smart arse just to refute a point, and I don't think you need to be so sarcastic all the time. It's just unpleasant.

[skysidhe]

It's just that the poster is asking for a certain amount of trust from the voters, that he or she is not giving. He or she wants to know how others feel without putting there feelings out there.
People like to know who they are responding to, especially when it's about a member of this forum.

I know some people fit in all categories. I just don't know who, or care to know who. I do care about the feelings of others and I like to play with sharp sticks.


That said,
It just felt wrong, so I couldn't vote. Plus, like I said, I've said it all enough anyway. No secret there.

[jimhelm]

the thing that bothers me most is this:

Lots of us have had enough.

which is saying that there has been some kind of meeting or consensus in which some imaginary group of clan elders has judged you wanting.

i give ali and sky props for actually having bawls enough to state their positions. right or wrong, they are doing it right. anon is not.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

the thing that bothers me most is this:



which is saying that there has been some kind of meeting or consensus in which some imaginary group of clan elders has judged you wanting.

i give ali and sky props for actually having bawls enough to state their positions. right or wrong, they are doing it right. anon is not.

blah blah blah. you forgot to end your criticism with "...in my opinion."

In my opinion, this is the *core* of the vast majority of the arguments on the cellar, indeed, most of the arguments in our society from politics to baseball and around again. ["In my opinion,] Policy ABC, which is supported only by poopyheads like you, is stooopit." When I hear "arguments" made in this way, I fill in the missing "in my opinion" for the speaker, as I have done for (myself) on your behalf, jimhelm.

***

In my opinion, monster's remarks are sometimes funny, sometimes informative, but the most memorable ones are unfunny and vitriolic personal attacks, voiced, naturally, in her opinion. I am tired of the abuse monster dishes out so freely.

[jimhelm]

Originally Posted by BigV

blah blah blah. you forgot to end your criticism with "...in my opinion."

In my opinion, this is the *core* of the vast majority of the arguments on the cellar, indeed, most of the arguments in our society from politics to baseball and around again. ["In my opinion,] Policy ABC, which is supported only by poopyheads like you, is stooopit." When I hear "arguments" made in this way, I fill in the missing "in my opinion" for the speaker, as I have done for (myself) on your behalf, jimhelm.

***

In my opinion, monster's remarks are sometimes funny, sometimes informative, but the most memorable ones are unfunny and vitriolic personal attacks, voiced, naturally, in her opinion. I am tired of the abuse monster dishes out so freely.

I don't know, V... I think most people are smart enough to realize that most of the things I say ARE my opinion. If I was stating a fact about something I knew for sure to be true, I think I would make that clear. So, I thank you for editing my post to suit yourself, but if you don't mind, I'll write my own lines.

blah blah blah yourself.

[Cloud]

okay, look. I don't like to single out individual posters and I have not voted. I don't think it's productive or fair. Some people were saying some things about me the other day which were also not fair. Oh well. I am not anon, btw. Someone noticed and stuck up for me--turns out I have friends here, after all.

If you're gonna be nice, be nice. Otherwise, fuck off. (shrugs)

[skysidhe]

I didn't realize my position needed stating, thus the lack of a vote. I didn't know there was a posse. I wish people would speak up at the time something bothersome is happening.

This is like sending anonymous hate mail. It just isn't MY style.

I am not anon either.

[anonymous]

I posted this thread anonymously because I was afraid of being abused further by the previously mentioned posters.

It wasn't my intention to hide as such. I simply thought it would be better if everyone just voted.

I only want monster to stop hurting people who don't deserve it, and I'd like shawnee to stop joining in (as if monster needs anyone to help her anyway). She just wont let things go. She can't have her say and shut up. She then follows the poster around and makes fun of everything they post till she finds another victim. It's not fair and it's not right.

Sorry to have offended anyone.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by anonymous

She just wont let things go. She can't have her say and shut up. She then follows the poster around and makes fun of everything they post till she finds another victim. It's not fair and it's not right.

No, it isn't right but you should just tell her.

I am confused about who the previous mentioned posters would be?

You mean abuse by not liking the vote with anon, vote with the masked person idea

Look, there is standing with someone or for a principle and then there is wanting others to get their hands dirty, at their expense, for your own gain.

now, I'm going to bed

[Ibby]

I think there are a lot of posters here who frequently go too far. The Cellar has a bit of a tradition, at least in the few years i've been here, of being rather... well, bitchy and prickly, but it was a good-natured sort of prickly. I don't wanna name names or give examples, but I think the cellar has its own culture of good-natured prickliness. I know I personally, outside the cellar, have a similar good-naturedly prickly personality. But I think, especially lately, things have often escalated too far, and there are posters here - many of them - who frequently escalate things too far.

but i wouldn't have ever singled monster out as one of them. Or Ali, or Cloud, or Shaw, or Infinite Monkey, or Jim, or, well, a lot of other frequent posters. I'm not really going to weigh in on whether or not it's a valid concern - i've been absent for a long while - and this also isn't the time or the place to single out the dwellars whose behavior concerns me the most. But... aside from concerns i've previously recently raised about my own concerns about what has changed about the cellar recently, I think the culture of the cellar has also gotten... more entrenched. I used to hear a lot of talk about the Cellar as being like a coffee shop, and the attitude towards the community being like, if not a coffee shop, a bar (or group of people at a bar), where the banhammer comes out in cases where, metaphorically, people come in with no concern for the other patrons or the establishment and run amok. but lately, i feel like it's become less like the "coffee shop" metaphor that was, last i checked, the guiding metaphor for the cellar's operation, and more... just, groups of warring factions, taking it all personally. None of the posters I've recently heard being accused the most of this sort of thing are ones i've noticed, myself, going beyond reasonability - EXCEPT in the widespread cases of longstanding vendettas carrying over from thread to thread.

I think a LOT of people here could all stand to cool off, back off, adopt more of an attitude that promotes the "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend, i wasn't trying to be personal" mindset that builds the close-knit, "coffee-shop" attitude of, even when there's mutual dislike and distrust and hurt, putting the community first, and trying to avoid conflict instead of trade blows and perpetuate it.


all too often, I find that lately, the attitude is "fuck you, i can post whatever i want, i don't care what you think of it, fuck off if you dont like it, it's a free forum and a free country and it's my right to post whatever I want." I'm not going to say that any of that isn't true. But i think that the right to be an asshole sometimes (or all the time) should not come ahead of the responsibility to the community to be both polite and respectful in a wider sense (if not always on a conversation-by-conversation basis).

Basically, I think a long series of back-and-forths, whoever started it or whoever's to blame or whoever's the most guilty, has set into motion an altogether unhealthy atmosphere for the Cellar to have. I can remember when, for example, rkzenrage was banned, it was because he consistently and unapologetically violated the sort of social contract that the Cellar operated under. I feel like we're losing more and more of that sense of collective agreement and social contract and community. And threads like this only fan the flames.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Ibram

I think a LOT of people here could all stand to cool off, back off, adopt more of an attitude that promotes the "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend, i wasn't trying to be personal" mindset that builds the close-knit, "coffee-shop" attitude of, even when there's mutual dislike and distrust and hurt, putting the community first, and trying to avoid conflict instead of trade blows and perpetuate it.


all too often, I find that lately, the attitude is "fuck you, i can post whatever i want, i don't care what you think of it, fuck off if you dont like it, it's a free forum and a free country and it's my right to post whatever I want." I'm not going to say that any of that isn't true. But i think that the right to be an asshole sometimes (or all the time) should not come ahead of the responsibility to the community to be both polite and respectful in a wider sense (if not always on a conversation-by-conversation basis).

Basically, I think a long series of back-and-forths, whoever started it or whoever's to blame or whoever's the most guilty, has set into motion an altogether unhealthy atmosphere for the Cellar to have. I can remember when, for example, rkzenrage was banned, it was because he consistently and unapologetically violated the sort of social contract that the Cellar operated under. I feel like we're losing more and more of that sense of collective agreement and social contract and community. And threads like this only fan the flames.

Look in the mirror dude. You fail in a big way with your sig line. I apologized to you in public soon after that post. You are a martyr. And with your posting in the sig line you prove yourself to be a One Trick Pony. Get on with your life. How many years ago was that post made? You are going to let a single post define your life and existence for how many years now?

[Bullitt]

Very good reference to rkzenrage. Agreed.

[sexobon]

You take the monster, you take the monkey
You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you see
you take them both and there you have
The Cellar strife, the Cellar strife.
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

There's a time you got to go and show
There's a time you got to go and show
You're pollin' now you know about
You're growin' now you know about
The Cellar strife, the Cellar strife
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

When the Cellar never seems
When the world never seems
to be livin' up to your dreams
to be livin' up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out
And suddenly you're finding out
the Cellar strife is all about you, you.
the Facts of Life are all about you, you

It takes a lot to get it right
It takes a lot to get 'em right
When your're learning 'bout Cellar strife.
When you're learning the facts of life.
(learning 'bout Cellar strife).
(learning the facts of life)

[DanaC]

What more needs to be said?

[infinite monkey]

You are not the first person who has been put off by my sarcastic and often acidic sense of humor. It isn't for everyone.

As to being followed around and poked at ffs I get that a lot from a dwellar who.
, if you paid the slightest attention to the community you so fear for, would see that cycle that is always ignored. That is fine with me because I can fight for myself. This supposed disappointment of yours comes to light because...why? I suspect a hit nerve.

For the record I speak up for monster because she has shown kindnesses to me that I don't always deserve. She chooses to see the bigger picture that is me. It's called friendship.