RANT WARNING

[nowhereman]

Rant away Monster - it's good for the soul. Glad you're doing better !!

[limey]

This is definitely the place to bring the rants and the pityparties. Do not fucking apologise to us about that because we all love you here. It is because we all love you you that you should bring your crap (pseudoanoymous or not) right here and let it all (ALL) hang out. Now. M'kay?
Oh, and whut Jim said, too (not about the nuns).

[Clodfobble]

You keep your pity party right here, lady. I think you and I respond to crises in much the same way, and I agree that for me, too, the hardest part of dealing with shitty things is having to deal with the other people dealing with you having shitty things. Do what you gotta do, we'll still be here when you get back.

[monster]

thanks now Im crying again. I just made an appt with a specislist in the vision thingy. I'm been warned that he may not be able to do anything for months, but at least I've made a start in the area that I felt i was being "let down" in.

But you know, some people are just really really thoughtless in the way they ask after my health. yes, it's nice they care, and I'm sure many of them are trying to empathise when they say things like "omg it could just have easily been me" but really, what emotionally weak, depressed and sleeep-deprived brain-damage patient wouldn't take that as 'thank god it wasn't me!"? And the ones who persist in trying to find something in my lifestyle/bodily make-up/medical history to explain it. "are they sure it isn't due to birth control pills? Did they say it couldn't be that?" Well no, but given that I don't take them it's a pretty fair bet it's not..... "of course I take the ones with less stroke risk associated...." yes, I really did have an email exchange like that with someone. A normal nice intelligent and empathetic someone.

[monster]

I posted about my stroke on facebook for several reasons. (1) it shouldn't be a taboo topic. Unexplained strokes in healthy young people do happen and are scary. hug your loved ones, folks (2) People can answer their questions without having to ask, and can feel that the topic is open if they do have questions (3) I can tell each story a couple times less. I know you feel special ifI have a one-on-one with you, and you are special, but I am also trying to devote as much of my time to getting better as possible and the moment you made in your schedule to call me to get the real personal version of events was going to be my nap time. And no, I'm not going to tell you that, i'm going to be nice and stay and chat with you until you have to go to pick up your kids....... so yes, it's my own fault that I'm overwhelmed by it all. All I needed was a little rant. I didn't say it was rational or reasonable.

[footfootfoot]

Monster, at the risk of being a pioneer in the "You know what helped my friend..." I'll just say I've known a lot of people of all ages who've had strokes. Most of them made a full recovery after a while. The guywho teaches our African Drumming class has had a series of them. The first one left him a mess. He'd been a concert pianist and that was over. Some how he got into African Drumming as a kind of physical therapy and began to improve rapidly. He attributes his recovery to drumming and has since become an "evangelical" African Drumming instructor. His subsequent strokes resolved quicker than the first one.

I'm not saying you should take up African Drumming. Just sharing that I know lots of folks who've had strokes and they've all dealt with them different ways and they are all doing well now.

When will they let you drink beer again? That's really what's important.

[monster]

thanks footsie. I can't talk about beer.

[Aliantha]

It's not really the same thing, but my aunt, whose husband is now in a nursing home because he doesn't have long to live thanks to dementia, asked me to spread the word among the family that she didn't want to hear one single person say, "how's Frank" on Christmas night. not because she doesn't care or her heart isn't breaking. Just because she's sick of saying the same thing, but trying to put it nicely instead of saying, "Well, he's shithouse actually. He's violent and can't remember shit and he hates his life and wants to die."

I wasn't trying to be insensitive to your rant monster. I just hoped you weren't cynical enough to believe that there are a lot of people who don't think of themselves and how your situation affects them before they think of you.

I used to get the shits every time someone told me how great I looked thanks to losing 20kg during pregnancy. Yeah, I look better, but I felt like shit at the time and you telling me I looked good didn't help at all, even though I know you meant it in the nicest possible way. I'm sure you know what I mean.

[jimhelm]

See, to me...'get the shits' means you have diarreah. So your post has conjured some interesting imagery.....

[Aliantha]

Nice Jim. I hope you're enjoying it.

[infinite monkey]

It affects those of us who love you. People don't know what to say or do. Another friend is dealing with the pain of a lifetime and i think i should be stronger but i'm just not. I want to carry the pain for everyone because i! Am selfish and cannot, cannot deal with the pain of others. Maybe that's why my fam can't discuss the death or the work troubles with me...they can't handle it?

I don't know what to do or what to say. I am your friend but i am not good at it. I feel fucking awful for you, i feel fucking awful for my ex and the loss of his (and mine,very much also mine) friend.

I can't see two feet in front of me right now but i love you and care about you. I know i should be able to do more. I just don't know what,or even if i can.

[monster]

infi you've been great, thanks. sorry everyone. im not ungrateful really. I'm just majorly depresed and looking for a non-judgemental place where i can scream about the unfairness of it all. whilst being thorougjly unfair myself. I just wanted to avoid screaming on facebook

[BigV]

This is the place.

[Aliantha]

Yeah, you can bitch all you like here, and you know what? You don't even have to contain it in this thread. Spread it all over the board. I know most of the rest of us do when we feel so shitty and mostly it's not even close to what you're going through.

Have at it. When you've complained as much as I did during my last pregnancy you might get to say sorry for complaining, but till then, just do it.

eta: btw, you have plenty of room to move yet. lol

[monster]

um??? did I hijack something, I'm sorry -mods can delete I assure you I wasn't drunk, just stupid.