The continuing LUVBUGZ thread

[LUVBUGZ]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce

UT, I get the impression from the exclamation point at the end of the first sentence you were....snapping. Over reaction due to the same reason you started this thread?

That's what I got out of it too, Bruce. Hence the apology, but apologies don't fly around here, at least mine don't seem too. If you notice also the time of my original chair post it was way before any shit flinging in the Prego Ad IotD. I took UT's response as a bit snippy due to the shit going on in the other thread. I ask again...where is the "thick skin" everyone claims is a necessity for survival in the Cellar?

[LUVBUGZ]

Originally posted by Undertoad
LB, if you review the threads I believe that you'll find that I've offered you nothing but helpful advice in a calm way and you took a big huge dump all over me for it.

I particularly enjoyed how you turned up to 11 to respond to my post suggesting you turn down to 4. It was a really supreme ironic twist.

You haven't really read a word I've said, because you are emotionally manic. You thrive on attention, and it really doesn't matter how you get it. You are absolutely desperate for human contact, and you don't know exactly how to go about getting it.

You will read this as me putting you down. But I am not; I am being your opposite. I am coldly, unemotionally stating facts.

There may be an awesome human being behind this attention-seeking emotional mania. But we can't see it, and won't make contact with it, because the mania gets in the way.

UT, I never said that you have done anything but offer cold, unemotional helpful advice. I don't really see how I took a big huge dump on you, personally. I have read every word you have typed and I am definitely listening. Are you a psychologist? I think you may be right about the emotionally manic thing. And BTY, I am reading your post as putting me down and I feel like shit as I sit here reading it, but I'm reading nonetheless. I realize that maybe people observing me, who don't know me, might be able to offer me some personal insight that people who know me and hate me won't. Maybe I should check into a looney bin and get to the bottom of my deep seeded issues that you can see flaming away at my shallow surface. You're right about the attention thing too. Nobody gives a rat's ass about me and my pitiful little life, but I came to the Cellar hoping to find some new friends through laughter, not flamefests. Juju says I like to play the victim role. He's the second person I've come across in my life that has said that to me. I blew off the first guy (NOT literally, Bruce, FYI)as an asshole (he really was one too, but that's besides the point), but maybe there is something to it if Juju says it too (I mean come on everybody here knows Juju's not an asshole, sorry Juju something in me couldn't resist that jab, it's a joke, buddy ol' pal o' mine, no need to splice me open for that one, my guts are already oozing onto the Cellar floor). Sorry, I jumped the track there. Anyhow, playing right into my emotionally manic victimized by the world view of things, I don't think you would find an awesome human being behind my psychotic facade, because it's not a facade. I've been depressed (not manic) ever since I can remember and up until now I've managed to pass myself off as just a bitch with a 'tude and got by in life by being the sarcastic dumb-ass that could make you laugh your ass off if you had a clue as to what I was babbling about. Apparently, I can't even do that well anymore. So what do you suggest UT? Take a flying leap off a tall building or (Whit this one's for you) fall to my death on a collapsing bridge with a bunch of Indonesian kids? At least that would be tragic for the little booger picking rug rats.

[Dagney]

Originally posted by LUVBUGZ
I realize that maybe people observing me, who don't know me, might be able to offer me some personal insight that people who know me and hate me won't.

You'll find that even the folks you think 'hate' you have something worthwhile to add.

This is a very telling sentence. We have. We've tried. And you've slapped the lot of us in the face.

More than once.

But you refuse to listen, or lash out and twist words. Repeatedly

Which is why you tend to find yourself on the wrong side of the shitstorm.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I've tried to be like one of the gang, I've tried to be funny, I've been a bitch, I've tried it all and still the littlest thing can set off a torrent of 'liquid feces'. I could go on and on, but I'm sure you've lost interest after the first couple of sentences.

Have you tried being normal? No wait..normal isn't what I mean because I don't know what normal means. You say you've tried being this and tried being that why not just try being you? It's really a lot easier.
I guess we all sort of take on a "web persona" but the closer it is to your offline persona the easier it is to communicate what you're really thinking and that's what most people are interested in hearing. Everyone is posting reality as they see it which is called opinion. If you disagree then by all means say so but "eat shit and die" isn't necessary to convey any position.

up until now I've managed to pass myself off as just a bitch with a 'tude and got by in life by being the sarcastic dumb-ass that could make you laugh your ass off if you had a clue as to what I was babbling about. Apparently, I can't even do that well anymore.

If that's the face you wish to show the world, fine, but it doesn't work very well in print unless you're a really, really good writer. Your insecurities are your business. We all have them. But never use them as an excuse or as a badge as it makes others uncomfortable and makes you vulnerable, IMO.
I guess adding IMO is really silly because everything I post is nothing more.

[Undertoad]

What do I suggest: as it came down to with Ciera, therapy.

If things really are as you say they are, it would do you a world of good. Have you considered it?

[juju]

I'm just going to speculate here, as I realize I don't really know you.

I think that you're looking for strength in other people. That doesn't work. The foundation of your ego has to come from within. Surrounding yourself with a network of supportive friends can be very helpful, but it is not a foundation. Trying to use it as one just doesn't work. You have to believe in yourself.

It's easy to spot people who have self-confidence, because when someone insults or criticizes them, they take the comment, evaluate it, and reject it, leaving no scar on their inner self. They just don't take it personally. They say, "No, that's not me", and move on.

But if you don't believe in yourself, your self worth is left to the whims of others. Unfortunately, that can be pretty unpredictable.

Also, when your posts get a little long, it might help your readers if you break your thoughts up into paragraphs.

[Whit]

      A lot of interesting things said here... I'm going to ignore it all and do my own thing.

      Hi Bugz. I've never been sure why I seem to upset you, but I'm going to give an honest shot at straightening things out. Noteworthy only because my habit is to simply make fun of the people that don't like me. So here goes.

From Bugz:
I'm perfectly fine with people not liking me or disagreeing with me, but we should still be able to carry on a perfectly civilized discussion/debate in an adult manner.

      Ya know Bugz, the first time we had a problem I thought this was what we were doing. We were clearly in disagreement but I found your point of view intriging and was looking to know more of it. Then you got upset. I'll say again, that was never my intention though you clearly believed it was.

I have tried over and over and over to explain in detail to people here how I have taken their comments, why I feel the way I do and still no one can admit that they were in the least bit partially to blame for the their part in the misunderstanding or whatever you want to call it.

      Most people around here don't really care about apologies. At least not that I've noticed. Usually, we clear things up and move on or leave it messy and don't take it to another thread. Leave the mess where it lays and it'll move off the board in time.

You're not helping, just teasing now.

      Actually I was teasing. In a friendly way, or at least that was how it was meant. I think you almost took it that way, so we must be making some headway. Whoo-hoo!

of course you wouldn't be so rude as to correct my spelling....

      Nope, not me, never. Got a chuckle out of the rest of this actually. I assume it was meant as a joke, if it was we're getting somewhere.

(Whit this one's for you) fall to my death on a collapsing bridge with a bunch of Indonesian kids?

      Another laugh from me here. Interestingly, this whole bit was one of your best posts, IMO at least. You just sound more real and less, well less like a victim towards the end here. I like it.
      Now on to the fair time portion of our program. You've been asking about everyone else's "thick skin" we've got it. I openly admit I've blatantly made fun of you. I do that to anyone that I think isn't listening, for my own amusement. I've accused you of things and given examples of what I meant. You, in turn, made accusations that you didn't back up even when I asked you to. Sounds like I really dislike you right? Nope, nice thick skin here. I'm good. Ready to be all friendly and cool. It's up to you girl-chic. (Take the girl thing as a jest and we're golden)
      I think we'll continue to disagree on many subjects but who cares? Accept that I have no interest in causing you pain and it should lead to many worthwhile discussions. So what's it going to be?

[Elspode]

[sarcasm] Look, if everyone is gonna be all reasonable and touchy-feely, I'm gonna have to go get a hanky.

What's the Cellar coming to when people can't just kick the shit out of each other and then walk away shaking their oh-so-superior heads? [/sarcasm]

I wonder if maybe 'thick skin' is the wrong term for what we need to have to be relatively functional here on the Cellar. Maybe it is more like 'high selectivity'. If someone is being a dick, you can usually tell that they are a dick (need I name handles, here?), and if they are a dick, therefore it follows that their criticism/barbs/insults/opinions aren't really worth getting upset over. I know it is easier said than done, but then I've had a lot of practice on the 'Net over the years learning just that. I have found that I'm a much happier person since mostly learning that lesson.

Juju is right...believe in yourself first and always. Then, when someone nails you, you know it isn't valid, and you don't react badly.

[warch]

Maybe I should check into a looney bin and get to the bottom of my deep seeded issues that you can see flaming away at my shallow surface. You're right about the attention thing too. Nobody gives a rat's ass about me and my pitiful little life, but I came to the Cellar hoping to find some new friends through laughter, not flamefests.

Perhaps as a way to generate outside caretaker pity, you beat yourself up harder than anyone here could ever do. You're the only one who can stop that, and the only one who can take care. So therapy sounds like a good idea, not looney at all. Before we give our rats' asses, you gotta be solid in yours.

[darclauz]

Originally posted by LUVBUGZ
Next I see Dave giving Anne a huge blast of shit in the Digital Airbrushing thread. He went off like a bull with a cattle prod to his nuts. Almost from the minute I opened my big ass mouth I've been hit upside the head everywhich way possible.


Many people around here are actually pretty damn mean

Lord! I've missed it around here.

LB--- if no one jumps you out of the gate here, yer doing something wrong.

And yeah..they are mean. Ain't it Grand?

Jimmy Stewart, in Harvey, said he'd tried being smart and he'd tried being nice..and nice was better.

The Cellarites just disagree....

[Elspode]

Anyone who quotes Elwood P. Dowd is alright by me!

[LUVBUGZ]

Bruce, I guess I tried being this and being that because the "normal" me wasn't working in the first place.

You really have a problem with the "eat shit and die" thing. Sorry it offends you, but I've always kinda liked that one as a last ditch effort to tell someone I really don't like them and if they cannot listen to my view of something in the same way I have listened to their view, then they should shut the "F" up and go on about their way. I do believe that the only person I have directed that to is Quzah and I feel pretty confident that he/she could care less what I say or feel about him/her.

You seem to be right about me not being able to convey my personality very well in written form. My personality tends to piss people off in person too, unless they know me and can tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious. I try to use the smilies to let people know I'm razzing them, but maybe they aren't even looking at them and taking my words at face value, in which case I can see where the misunderstanding or offense is taken. I don't know any other way of conveying my humor, I have actually written out in words a disclaimer and people still twist what I'm trying to say and turn it into something it's not.

[xoxoxoBruce]

The problem I have with "eat shit and die" is that it does nothing to make your point, it's just playground name calling and puts every reader on notice that you can't sustain an intelligent conversation and back up your position with facts. "ESaD" does nothing but tell the reader that you quit, you lose.
Calling someone an idiot could be construed as "you're and idiot therefore my position comes from a more intelligent source". It's a stretch but possible. The former does nothing.

I have actually written out in words a disclaimer and people still twist what I'm trying to say and turn it into something it's not.

We can't twist what you're trying to say because you're the only one that knows what that is. The reader only knows what you wrote. If there's more than one way to interpret what's written, the reader tries to put it in the context of what's come before and then who wrote it. That's the rub, as I said before you probably are being held to a higher standard because of what's transpired. But you have to be doubly sure what you write is what you're thinking so you don't end up defending something you didn't mean or feeling you're being abused because the reader didn't understand what you meant.
Written communication is much more difficult because if you peruse a dictionary most words have multiple meanings and there's no facial or tonal clues.
Also, sniping someone puts everyone else on notice that they could be next. That makes an uncomfortable atmosphere for some and definitely dissuades lurkers from wanting to contribute.

[Elspode]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
The problem I have with "eat shit and die" is that it does nothing to make your point <snip!>

Also, Emily Post says that "Consume feces and expire" is much more socially acceptable.

I believe the best I've read yet was from vsp - "Consume feces and cease to metabolize"