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05-20-2004, 08:39 AM
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#16 |
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We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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Its behind you!
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05-20-2004, 08:52 AM
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#17 |
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Your Bartender
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
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Mrs. Dallas once got one that said "Trust him, but keep your eye on him."
Several months later she got another that said "Trust him, but still keep your eye on him." She kept both of them, and carries them in her purse for deployment at strategic moments. |
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05-20-2004, 11:40 AM
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#18 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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i think i've told this before, but....
my mom had a depressed friend that she took out to a chinese restaurant for dinner to cheer up. her fortune was blank.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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05-20-2004, 01:08 PM
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#19 |
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"I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me."
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In Sycamore's boxers
Posts: 1,341
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This Is Only A Test.
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"Freedom is not given. It is our right at birth. But there are some moments when it must be taken." ~Tagline from the movie "Amistad"~ "The Akan concept of Sankofa: In order to move forward we first have to take a step back. In other words, before we can be prepared for the future, we must comprehend the past." From "We Did It, They Hid It" |
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05-20-2004, 02:49 PM
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#20 |
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I am meaty
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,119
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I've actually made my own fortune cookies before, though it's been years, and thinking up the fortunes was the funnest part. I can only remember a few:
"Inspected by #114" "Duck!" "Order more fortunes today" ...I'll have to see if I still have the list I made, some were pretty funny. I made the fortune cookies large novelty size, about the size of a softball, so I had the option for some lengthy fortunes.
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Hot Pastrami! |
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05-20-2004, 05:27 PM
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#21 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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9....8....7.....6....5....4.....3.....
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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05-20-2004, 05:46 PM
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#22 |
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Constitutional Scholar
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Ocala, FL
Posts: 4,006
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That lump is cancer
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin |
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05-20-2004, 06:10 PM
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#23 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 12,486
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You will soon argue incessantly with a bunch of people you barely know.
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05-20-2004, 06:29 PM
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#24 |
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Operations Operative
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Northern WI
Posts: 739
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OK, I still think you're kind of a dick, but you do crack me up.
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If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell "tornado!", and run like hell. |
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05-20-2004, 08:17 PM
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#25 |
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|-0-| <-0-> |-0-|
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 516
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You will marry an Asian cook
Your next fortune cookie will have a lie Employees mush wash hands before returning to work You forgot to feed your dog this morning, he is unhappy Made from 100% recycled fortunes |
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05-20-2004, 10:54 PM
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#26 |
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When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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A close corollary to that which I pulled on some friends one New Year's Eve in a Chinese restaurant..
"Your house is on fire and your dog is dead."
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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05-21-2004, 01:27 PM
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#27 |
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halve your cake and eat it too.
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Georgia.. by way of Lawrence Kansas
Posts: 1,359
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halve your cake and eat it too
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no my child.. this is not my desire..I'm digging for fire. |
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05-21-2004, 01:51 PM
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#28 |
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Constitutional Scholar
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Ocala, FL
Posts: 4,006
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The sound in the kitchen was not a cat.
That wasn't beef Mirrors do not lie Your waiter did not wash his hands You were adopted (both sides) See other side. Your colon will self destruct in five seconds We know where you live. You will be hungry again in 30 minutes Ask your waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin |
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05-21-2004, 01:56 PM
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#29 |
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™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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As long as we are cutting and pasting from Google:
Everyone's meal today is on you! The 'special sauce' came from the floor! Guess what our special 'drop' was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!! Your colon will self destruct in five seconds. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time. Your dog Sparky...he's no longer missing. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies. We know where you live. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes. MSG? NO!! Ebola Virus....maybe |
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