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11-14-2011, 11:36 AM
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#1 | |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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Quote:
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 These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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11-14-2011, 12:16 PM
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#2 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
Posts: 6,402
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Gads, I had to go to my keyboard and then to Google to get that one !
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11-14-2011, 12:18 PM
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#3 |
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Back in 10
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,684
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Wild Alabama Party Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alabama to be as far away from humanity as possible. Sam sees the mailman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace and quiet.
After 6 months or so of almost total isolation, he’s finishing dinner one day when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there. “Name’s Enoch. Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge. Having a party Saturday. Thought you’d like to come.” “Great,” says Sam, “after 6 months of this I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.” As Enoch is leaving he stops, “Gotta warn you there’s gonna be some drinking.” “Not a problem. After 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of ‘em.” Again, as he starts to leave, Enoch stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.” Damn, Sam thinks. Tough crowd. “Well, I get along with people. I’ll be there. Thanks again.” Once again Enoch turns from the door. “I’ve seen some wild sex at these parties, too.” “Now that’s not a problem,” says Sam, “Remember I’ve been alone for 6 months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?” Enoch stops in the door again and says, “Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us.” >[fade to Dueling Banjos]
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Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind. |
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11-06-2011, 01:42 PM
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#4 | |
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We have to go back, Kate!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
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No. don't. :p
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11-11-2011, 09:45 AM
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#5 |
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Makes some feel uncomfortable
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
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What's brown and is near the piano?
The piano's stool. What's brown and plays the piano? Beethoven's last movement.
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 "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce
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11-11-2011, 10:28 PM
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#6 |
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Gamehenge
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Halifax, NS
Posts: 168
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What's brown and hangs from a tree?
Winnie's pooh.
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It's Really Plain and Easy To See, The Family grows like fungus on a tree. |
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11-12-2011, 02:47 PM
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#7 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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What's green and on the ice?
Peggy's Phlegm
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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11-14-2011, 07:53 AM
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#8 | |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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11-14-2011, 08:33 AM
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#9 |
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Master Dwellar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 4,412
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What can you sit on, eat and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a sandwich and a toothbrush.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. |
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11-14-2011, 08:35 AM
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#10 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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Why did the spider cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the chicken. |
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11-14-2011, 09:45 AM
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#11 | |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Quote:
Because he was stapled to the chicken.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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11-14-2011, 08:54 AM
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#12 |
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I hear them call the tide
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
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ashamed to admit that actually made me lol
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart |
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11-14-2011, 09:49 AM
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#13 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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My slightly different jokes are better than your slightly different jokes.
For one thing, they flow off the tongue better, and don't use extraneous words to convey what is essentially a visual joke (what is green and is ON ICE? Peggy's Phlegm? No...Peggy Phlegm. She skates, the joke is so obscure you don't need to throw a spanner in it by not exactly spelling out it's a skating thing. The joke with the last name is that you just stop...Peggy Flem...) I picture a spider, wriggling and wriggling and tickling beside her, stapled through the middle to a chicken. I cannot picture a punk rocker doing same. |
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11-14-2011, 09:56 AM
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#14 | |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Spiders and staples? what? Punk rockers and pins, staples, studs, piercing, it's like bacon and eggs.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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11-14-2011, 09:58 AM
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#15 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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But the joke isn't supposed to have a tie-in!
It's just weird. Like a brown stick. Come ON, man! 
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Hybrid Mode
