Would you call the cops?

[Aliantha]

The girl is 15. The boy is about the same age. The school have told the family of the girl that 'after they've dealt with the situation they can call the police if they like'.

This sort of thing stays with a person for a long time. I don't think it's something she's likely to joke about in the future. She was terrified from what grandmother told me. She's now having counselling. So is her brother.

My issue is that i know the school and I know the reputation of the school and I'm certain they'd be doing everything they can to stay out of the public eye. If the cops get involved, there's a chance the media will too, and that's why I believe they haven't called.

Aside from that, the school has a duty of care for that student till they get home from school if they're going directly home, which this girl was. In my honest opinion, they've failed in that duty of care by not reporting a crime.

I still have not decided whether to call the police or not. I hope GM does or can convince her daughter to. Maybe someone else's mother will.

What is stuck in my mind is that if this boy can do this now, what about when he's bigger and stronger. What's he going to be capable of then? As far as it goes, I don't think he should be excused just because he has a mental illness (if in fact he does). What if he'd strangled her or something? Would he be excused then because he didn't know what he was doing?

A crime is a crime no matter who commits it. Isn't it up to the justice system to ensure the safety of society? Shouldn't they be the ones to determine if this boy is fit to live unsupervised in society? Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying he should be locked up or anything, but perhaps he shouldn't be out from adult supervision if he can't control such a base instinct.

One final thing. If I did call, it would be as a member of the community and I would simply tell the story as I know it and allow the police to contact the school. In my opinion as I mentioned previously, I think the school needs to be sorted out for not reporting it themselves.

[xoxoxoBruce]

So you don't think the girls parents have the right to decide?

[Aliantha]

I guess I don't.

[monster]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

So you don't think the girls parents have the right to decide?

Tough call. Morally. Politically and Legally, yup, reckon it's their call. But Morally?

What does the girl think?
Do they have the right to protect their daughter from futher trauma?
Do they have the right to possibly siubject others to the same trauma and worse?
Are they thinking just of their daughter?
Are they thinking of the notoriety they will gain if they press charges?

etc

[Ibby]

She's 15?

That's different...

I'd say call.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Then how about waiting until the school is finished what they have in mind and if the parents don't call as the school said was their option, then decide. Nobody's going anywhere, are they?

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

[cut]
Grandmother says they weren't intending to call the cops because the school is dealing with it. Also, that the perpetrator has what sounds to me like aspergers (grandma says he has something wrong with him where he doesn't understand boundaries) so she feels sorry for him to an extent.

fyi aspergers does not preclude someone flopping thier penis out...in fact quite the opposite! There would be someother problem with the boy. aspergers is not a behavioral problem

Originally Posted by Aliantha

[cut]
What do you think? Should I call the police and report what is in my opinion a crime even though I wasn't there and all the info I have is third hand?

*ummm just thinking about boundries and whos problem it really is*

[monster]

Originally Posted by skysidhe

fyi aspergers does not preclude someone flopping thier penis out...in fact quite the opposite! There would be someother problem with the boy. aspergers is not a behavioral problem





*ummm just thinking about boundries and whos problem it really is*

I don't think Ali said anything about Aspergers being behavioural or precluding someone from "flopping their penis out".....

[skysidhe]

she didnt? then who did?

I see someone did...ali thought enough of it to quote it as such.

correction is ok I think monster...

[monster]

Sure, sorry, was just confused that you seemed so mad at something that didn't seem to be there to me. We all have our touchy issues.

[skysidhe]

I am not mad at all. Just


plus my kid as aspergers....or used to. (growing out of)

anyway....

sometimes in my wildest dreams I imagine the most average of behaviors like ,,,,,anything.

There is a missunderstanding here that needed correction.
Autism and Aspergers is all about someone being wrapped up....too much being correct and shy.
I am a specialist in autism too so I don't appreciate labels being thrown around and yes she did say it sounded like aspergers to her.

Then to talk about boundries while not excercising ones own.
I'm not a bitch...just and

[smurfalicious]

With ALL due respect to each of you and your opinions... I guess my points are:

Overreacting and/or acting out of emotion rather than common sense only complicates the issue. First, the kid's a jerk, his actions are inexcusable - no question about that. The school has a legal duty to handle it, including removing the boy from the bus, possible suspension, and conferencing with the parents including nailing down specific repercussions for any future "assaults". At age 15 he certainly knows better, and, at age 15, he's intentionally being a jerk. It's doubtful that his intent was "sexual assault"; more likely, his intention was to illicit a reaction from the girl. Which he clearly got.

Unless this kid has a history of this kind of behavior, many of you are being quite judgmental by assuming he's a serial masturbator or pervert in the making and is going to take this to the next step. Likely, he was being a jerk, under peer pressure, nothing more.

Second, it's my impression that this girl may have some underlying psychological issues that need to be addressed ASAP if she let this upset her THAT much - so much, in fact, that she needs counseling. I'm getting the impression that she is quite immature, sheltered, and emotionally and socially stunted.

Hey, when I was 7, I had a little boy my age forcefully enter a bedroom to look at me nekkid and try to touch my little booty. I was upset for 5 minutes. I told the appropriate authority figures (not cops) about it and trusted them to handle it. When I was 15, I had a boy trap me in a seat and forcefully kiss me and feel my ta-tas on the bus. I slapped the crap out of the boy and if I could have kicked him in the cajones, I would have (I settled for his shin). If I would have cried like a helpless little girl, no doubt he would have continued to mess with me. But I stood up to him, and he never bothered me again.

Neither incident scarred me for life. Again, I'll reinforce what i stated earlier about this girl not being so goddam helpless and maybe taking a self-defense class - nobody on here thinks that's - even remotely - a good idea?????

Not to be cliche, but to be cliche anyway: you get more with honey than you do with vinegar. Approaching the school and the parents is clearly appropriate. Going to the cops without giving the school and parents a chance to correct the problem is unjust and, IMHO, just plain vindictive.

This kid is screaming for attention which is why he did what he did. Making a huge deal out of it is only going to give either a good kid who made a mistake a bad rap, or a bad kid the negative attention and rep he wants. It will also have repercussions on the girl - kids see a weakness and they go after it (see Darwin) - that I don't think she wants or, given her fragile state, can handle.[/list]

I have a 7 year old daughter. I also had a 14 year old stepson who couldn't keep himself under control or out of jail. I believe I have, at least somewhat, seen both sides of the fence - from the perspective of a parent attempting to safeguard their child from the acts/influences of another child, to a parent struggling with a rebellious, violent, criminal youth.

No doubt, I would not be happy if someone rubbed their weiner on my daughter. And I'll admit my initial *thought* would be "Where is this kid so I can give him a firm foot in his a$$?" But I'm raising my girl to understand that she will have to deal with certain unpretty things in life. And I'm teaching her to be strong - not weak - and deal with it and get over it. You don't let something like this - something relatively insignificant in the grand scheme of things - handicap you. The last thing anyone in our society needs is another excuse for someone (mommy/daddy/therapist) or something (drugs, illicit or otherwise) to "solve" their problems.

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by smurfalicious

Second, it's my impression that this girl may have some underlying psychological issues that need to be addressed ASAP if she let this upset her THAT much - so much, in fact, that she needs counseling. I'm getting the impression that she is quite immature, sheltered, and emotionally and socially stunted.

I don't see where you are getting this. No where does it say she was "THAT" upset. If I'm missing something about how upset she was in these posts, please show me. And even if she were that upset it is her right to feel however she wants.

Nowadays, I'd kick his balls off. When I was young and was accosted in a bookstore, of all places, I was ashamed and embarrassed and this is the first time I've ever told anyone.

[Aliantha]

sky...with regard to my comment about aspergers, GM simply said that he's got some disorder where he doesn't recognize boundaries and or things that're inappropriate.

That's a classic symptom of aspergers which is why I suggested that perhaps that might be the issue. My purpose in mentioning it was to ensure that everyone had as much info as I had in order to give me advice.

Smurf...you have a right to your opinion. Thanks for your advice.

To those of you who suggested that this is just 'boys being boys'. I disagree. This is totally outside the boundaries of boys being boys.

[skysidhe]

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/t...drome-Symptoms

Originally Posted by Aliantha

sky...with regard to my comment about aspergers, GM simply said that he's got some disorder where he doesn't recognize boundaries and or things that're inappropriate.

That's a classic symptom of aspergers which is why I suggested that perhaps that might be the issue.

You are wrong ali. It is not a classic symptom.

Your teen with Asperger's syndrome (like other teens) will want friends but may feel shy or intimidated when approaching other teens. He or she may feel "different" from others. Although most teens place emphasis on being and looking "cool," trying to fit in may be frustrating and emotionally draining for teens with Asperger's. They may be immature for their age and be naive and too trusting, which can lead to teasing and bullying.All of these difficulties can cause teens with Asperger's to become withdrawn and socially isolated and to have depression or anxiety.


These are the Classic traits
Their preference for rules and honesty may lead them to excel in the classroom and as citizens.
Some traits that are typical of Asperger's syndrome, such as attention to detail and focused interests, can increase chances of university and career success. Many people with Asperger's seem to be fascinated with technology, and a common career choice is engineering. However, scientific careers are by no means the only areas where people with Asperger's excel. Indeed, many respected historical figures have had symptoms of Asperger's, including Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, and Thomas Jefferson.



ome traits that are typical of Asperger's syndrome, such as attention to detail and focused interests, can increase chances of university and career success. Many people with Asperger's seem to be fascinated with technology, and a common career choice is engineering. However, scientific careers are by no means the only areas where people with Asperger's excel. Indeed, many respected historical figures have had symptoms of Asperger's, including Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, and Thomas Jefferson.

Other conditions

Many children with Asperger's syndrome also have coexisting conditions and may have symptoms of these conditions as well. They include:
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Anxiety disorder.
Depression, especially in adolescents.
Nonverbal learning disorder.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Social anxiety disorder.



whatever don't take my word for it...in fact don't take documents word for it either. Carry on.