Dominoes

[orthodoc]

But it isn't that simple; color isn't an isolated attribute. It usually goes along with culture, group history, and many other details that make up a person. If, for example, Japanese parents strongly want their kids to marry only Japanese spouses, it's as much or more about a common history, culture, language, spiritual approach, continuation of the extended group, and similar expectations, as it is about color. I think that calling them or those who think like them 'dirty bigots, end of story' is taking too simplistic an approach to a complex issue.

Do I disapprove of cross-cultural marriages or inter-racial marriages? No. I'm in one. But I understand the common desire to see your children continue in their own heritage. I don't think that's a bad thing in itself.

[Clodfobble]

Picture it this way, rkzenrage. Many people, when they discover they or their partner are pregnant, can say they have a preference for having a boy or a girl. This does not mean they do not want the other gender, but all other things being equal, if they got to pick, they could make a decision without being thrown into ethical psychological turmoil.

There's a difference between sentimentally wanting your grandkid to have blue eyes just like grandma, and not wanting a bi-racial child. Most people can love their grandchildren unconditionally regardless of how they look, but also delight in finding genetic similarities between themselves and their offspring.

But, what you feel and what you do about it determines who you are. True, we all have our prejudices.

A bigot does something about it.

If you want only boys and abort all your girls, you are a murderer... if you sabotage all of your daughters boyfriends who are not your race, solely based on race, yup... you are a dirty bigot. Yes, it is that simple.

If you want to preserve your nationality that badly, you should have never left the home country & should go back.

[Shawnee123]

Yesterday, I heard a story that cheered me up when I needed it, reinforcing that there are good people on this earth. My friend (also my bartender) was telling me her older sister just got back from China, adopting her second chinese child. She told me all about how the girl recognized her aunt from pictures, and how thrilled the whole family is. Curious, I asked what went into their decision to adopt overseas. I think this is a wonderful thing, well, any adoption is, but I was curious. She told me her older sister, who is 50 years old, is gay and is married to a woman.

I thought about how nice this is for the children they have adopted; this couple has love to give and these children need that love (both adopted from orphanages, the new child will have to recover from rickets from malnutrition.) The whole family is happy, grandma and grandpa love these children as if they were the fruit of their fruit. In fact, my friend's father had to do a presentation for an organization he is involved in. He wanted his oldest daughter to speak of her experiences in China and the adoption process. Though my friend said her father has never been very demonstrative, he introduced his other daughter by saying "We know that heroes exist in this world. It is a beautiful thing to find out one of them is in your own family." The daughter was crying so hard it took a while to make her speech.

If only everyone could look over the differences around them, and give love regardless of issues of race, sexual preference, creed, religion.

Anyway, I just thought it a good place to tell this story that made me happy when I heard it.

Exactly, my brother in law has adopted many multi-racial kids and my nieces and nephews are never discouraged from learning their heratiage... is a non-issue.

[xoxoxoBruce]

You're right, Rob. There's a big difference between wanting your child to marry a (insert color/race) and have babies that look like the rest of the family, and trying to sabotage a relationship that child is having with someone of the "wrong" color/race.

The only thing worse is trying to prevent your child from even associating or being friends with, someone of the "wrong" type.

Frantz Fanon who was a black French Caribbean intellectual and a psychoanalyst wrote a book in French called 'Black skin , white mask' . He wrote about all the subtle mechanisms that make the black man feel inferior . He was not talking about direct racist attacks , just the soft warm current that flows through you when you are a kid . He could analyse all that because he was a psychoanalyst . He happened to be black too .

I think that what he talks about happens to white children too , that soft warm current , no direct contact with racist violence , and lots of surface words , and just knowing that you are white , and 'better' . Of course that word 'better' would never be used in educated , liberal circles , but it is lying there like a snake all the time . I think it is time we had a European psychoanalyst do what Frantz Fanon did , but with the white child as the subject . I think it is time we had the courage to face the obscene ghosts we carry around with us .

... and for which we are not to blame AS INDIVIDUALS .

[Aliantha]

There's a phrase used to describe what you're talking about Buddug. It's called 'New Racism'. It is the result of Social Darwinism. Google it and you'll find lots of references.

I'm not suggesting it's bullshit. It's obviously a key element of modern society in my opinion.

I disagree that we're not responsible for it as individuals though. Some of the statements you've made recently suggest that it's a problem you're having at the moment.

Hmm , I am trying to be honest about all the currents that have flowed through me , Aliantha . There are loads of Aussie currents . Wild drunken men shouting 'she'll be right' into the dark tropical night , and then being rough with 'the natives' . And then organizing a very serious and honest vote under a tree on a tiny island . I used to go out to the islands with the District Commissioner .

[Aliantha]

So should I be ashamed of the history of the men before me, or should I be more concerned about how I behave today?

It was rough , but it was fair for those times .

[Aliantha]

Well, my point is that niether you nor I are at the mercy of any currents that 'flow through us'. We're the masters of our own fate and have the ability to change the course we're on.

There's nothing special about that.

What has come before should be acknowledged. Can even be used as a tool for learning or a point of reference, but it can't be blamed for how we are now. We all have choices, and if we know our choices are wrong, then we must change them, or be as shameful as those who came before.

But what the British , and then the modern Australians did to the Aborigines needs to be told to the world .

Not many people know about the macabre football games played in the Outback . The ball was the head of an Aborigine . This may not have happened regularly , but it happened . See Max Gallo for tip-top university references on the subject .

And who knows about the Stolen Generation ? There is a National Sorry Day in Oz for this , but have the Australians on this white forum ever mentioned it ? Tell them , Aliantha .

[Aliantha]

I'll be happy to talk about it to anyone that wants to know Buddug, however, I'm intelligent enough to know that I can't change the past. The only thing I can change is the future and believe me, I'm doing my part in that as best I can.

I agree that the history of Australia's white occupation has been horrific and shameful. About as shameful as all the other colonisations by the British and their compatriots at the time.