Men are sluts

[jinx]

Well c'mon! That whore wasn't wearing a bra for fuck sake!

[Cloud]

not to mention consorting with the debbil

cause and effect?

[DucksNuts]

Originally Posted by jinx

Who, exactly, is looking down on these women?
Of course we've all heard that, so it must be true... but I gotta say, I'm not seeing it actually happening.

I dont see it either.

I dont have any religious people in my life at life, so I cant comment on whether thats a contributing factor.

[Clodfobble]

I had one boyfriend wig out at the number of partners I'd had, and he himself had had a pretty debauched youth. But at the time, we both knew we were really close to the end of the relationship anyway, so I just sort of blew the whole thing off.

My husband couldn't really care that I've had more partners than he has, but he thinks it's freaking hysterical that I've actually kissed more girls than he has.

Originally Posted by Hime

I'm not religious at all, and I am not interested in having sex without love and commitment. I don't want to risk being taken advantage of or treated with disrespect, or doing the same to someone else.

That's not to say that I object to other people having sex with multiple partners. It's just not for me.

Then you are not who we are discussing. We are talking about people who get their noses out of joint about women with a healthy sex-drive.
You just helped make my case.

[piercehawkeye45]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

but he thinks it's freaking hysterical that I've actually kissed more girls than he has.

The average has to be around 20 for girls...

[Jeboduuza]

I wish Dagney could see the title of this thread.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

~~he thinks it's freaking hysterical that I've actually kissed more girls than he has.

.


well....i don't think it's hysterical. I think it's hawt.

[Pie]

It all comes back to the "baby daddy" question -- biologically & culturally, men don't want to be investing in raising a child that isn't theirs.

Back in "the good old days", the one way to insure that the baby was yours is to make it damn expensive (in terms of cultural capital) for the woman to play around. Doesn't matter if he plays around; any result is not his problem.

Today, we claim to be high-minded and egalitarian, but the veneer is awful thin. We do (overtly) look down on women who have children by a large number of men. We look askance at women who only sleep with them, and don't procreate.

Religion only served as a codification of the views imposed by biology.

[Aliantha]

I think there's a big difference between women who have a high number of sexual partners, and women who have several children to different men.

The two are not connected in any way.

You only need to have sex once to get pregnant, so it is possible that a woman could have three children by three different men and have only had sex three times, yet society still calls her a slut (or whatever).

Alternately, a woman could have sex with 50 men but children to only one and that's ok, or at least, more ok because there's no evidence of sluttish behaviour unless she says what she's done.

The fact that the 50 partner woman should feel the need to hide that figure is a shame and says a lot about how the average person thinks.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by jinx

Who, exactly, is looking down on these women?
Of course we've all heard that, so it must be true... but I gotta say, I'm not seeing it actually happening.

I hear it on a regular basis. Especially from young men.
Whether it's overheard conversations, read online (we had this out with bmwcaw a while back, remember?) or in editorials, it's definitely an attitude that's still out there.

Ali, you raise a very interesting point.
I would never judge a woman on the amount of sexual partners she has had - it matters as little to me as how many pairs of shoes she has owned. But I would have an opinion (however unfair it is of me) on a woman with children by multiple partners. My opinion of a man with children by multiple partners would be the same.

It's nothing to do with morals - just with the practical issue that a father who does not live with his children cannot possibly have the same parental impact on a child's life as a father who does. I accept that long term relationships break up, and it is incredibly hard for both parents, trying to sort out responsible visitation. I am not writing about these situations.

I mean people who start a relationship with a baby. It's over by the time the baby is born. Well, as long as the baby is loved... But then to go out and start the next relationship with a baby... and the next.

It seems remarkably common in Celebville - I know they have the money to support multiple children/ partners, but what about the time? I read recently that Keith Allen (British comedian/ actor, father of Lily) has 8 children by 6 women. I guess they don't all get to spend Christmas with Daddy, then. Or Fathers Day.

[piercehawkeye45]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

You only need to have sex once to get pregnant, so it is possible that a woman could have three children by three different men and have only had sex three times, yet society still calls her a slut (or whatever).

Alternately, a woman could have sex with 50 men but children to only one and that's ok, or at least, more ok because there's no evidence of sluttish behaviour unless she says what she's done.

I know this isn't the only reason but I think the bad reputation the first women will get is because society not only calls her sexually promiscuous but stupid as well. If you got pregnant three times to three different men it is very likely that contraceptives were not used and the man was not wearing a condom, so society will call her irresponsible and stupid since it is common knowledge that contraceptives and condoms will dramatically reduce the risk of pregnancy.

This can also assume that she may have sexually transmitted diseases. If a women who has sex once get an STD, she will instantly be labeled sluttier than a women who has sex 50 times but has never got an STD.

Even though it is unfair to those women that have gotten unwanted pregnancies and STDs, especially because of a broken condom or failed contraceptive, it is good, at least in my opinion, that we put more emphasis on safe sex than abstinence.

[Aliantha]

you know what? Pretty much everything you just said is exactly the kind of bullshit women like me have to put up with constantly.

I don't agree that a woman needs to be promiscuous to get an std. IN fact, women often get them from the fuckers they are faithful to.

As to pregnancy, who in the fuck said it's the woman who should be labled? Why the fuck don't men get labled for this shit? Is it that men don't get to live with the kids? Or how bout, they just ignore the fact they have kids?

Men in my opinion, are the ones who perpetuate these societal views of women because they don't take responsibility for their part in it.

[Cloud]

That ol' double standard. Tho I'm not sure PiercedHawkeye actually subscribes to it, just describing it.

[Aliantha]

Maybe not, but he posted it, so he's obviously been thinking about it.

I hope he gives it a lot more thought in future.