Kid's sports - Revenge of the Coaches

[lookout123]

I found myself grumbling and moaning about this bullshit last night about 11 as I was finishing up a project for work and it finally hit me like a brick. I've been bitching and blaming the other coaches, director, and parents for taking the joy out of this hobby of mine. How stupid is that? They don't have the ability to irritate me or steal my joy - I have the ability to become irritated and not enjoy something. It is up to me to live my life, make my choices, and maintain my attitudes. The responsibility is all mine, kudos and blame belong to me equally. It is my choice/fault if I become involved in petty pissing matches. This is a premise that I strive to live by all the time but I've been ignoring it in this area. Not anymore.

Well, as of right now I have removed my head from my ass (at least on this issue) and am moving forward. I coach because I love the game. I coach because I love kids. I coach because I want these kids to love the game as much as I do. I firmly believe that kids who are passionate about a hobby or skill are happier, healthier, and less likely to get into serious trouble in their teen years. My goal is to spark and nurture a passion for the game in as many kids as I can while I can.

We will not win all of our games this session but we will approach each game with enthusiasm. We will play hard. We will treat our opponents with respect. We will have fun.

Game on.

[Kingswood]

Originally Posted by lookout123

I coach because I love the game. I coach because I love kids. I coach because I want these kids to love the game as much as I do.

Also, you coach because you are good at coaching.

You don't really need to take my advice. Just do as you see fit and all will turn out well. Best of luck with the team this weekend.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Lookout, Sark needs you.

[classicman]

Atta boy! Hey "other teams" . . . LOOK-thefuck-OUT!

[Tree Fae]

Wow things have really changed since my son played soccer. Once the kids were placed on a team they stayed on that team unless they chose to leave.

I coached his team one season when there was no one else to do so, it was quite the learning experience. We actually did fairly well as we had most of the team returning. I was given decent training to top off the fact I had been working for several years with the other coach.

It was at this point that the teams were going to "premier teams" and I saw some of the bullshit your experiencing. My son takes after me therefore is very small . He is only 5'6" as an adult. Back then he was much smaller than the other boys even though he was a year older than a lot of them in his grade. He was passed over by the premier teams just on that factor even though he could outrun most of the boys 2 or 3 years older than him. All people see is the need to win, doesn't matter what they are saying to the kids.

I am sure you will succeed with what ever team you work with, because you care about each individual . Whether you win or lose, your still winners.

[Sundae]

Lookout, you might have moaned in this one thread, but to me what has always come across is your intention to make the experience as possible as possible for the children you are coaching.

If you've recognised that other people's opinions were affecting your enjoyment and have decided not to let them then you have my complete respect. But never doubt that you have set many young people a great example regardless of how you felt inside.

The other night in the pub there were only three customers by 22.00. I was hoping they would bugger off as I might get to go home early. Then they started talking about the teachers, youth group workers, coaches and priests who they respected and who had helped them 30-50 years ago. I was almost disappointed when John said I could go as soon as I'd washed the drip trays! I think every adult can remember an adult they looked up to and respected when they were a child. The world needs people like you.

Glad you've decided to enjoy it again.

[classicman]

Is cloning possible yet? We need about a dozen of you out east.

[Clodfobble]

Here's what I think. You should start the game with your team, and then when you are up by at least 5 and the other side is bitching about it being stacked, trade teams. Just trade, mid-game. Tell LL to play as well as he can, but obey the other coach's instructions, whatever they might be. When your "new" team is well ahead, switch back and bring your team from behind. Do this as many times as is necessary to prove that the jumbleball coach sucks.

[lookout123]

That would be hilarious and an awesome challenge but I'm afraid that if I ever suggested something like that my family would have to identify my remains.

[classicman]

Ohh but L123 - you should still submit the idea to your "fearless leader" He might actually think about its feasibility for awhile. Then again, he may bring up the idea at the next bored meeting. This could be fun. Think of how the other coaches will be squirming too - lol.

[Flint]

Those guys rock. First the chicks are checking them out, and then the cops show up. Two things that always go together.

[lookout123]

Except in this case it wasn't preceded by "here, hold my beer".

[lookout123]

Ha! Waiting for me in my email this morning was a forward. This email has bounced back and forth among several coaches and parents at the club with everyone getting their $.02 in. It started with one coach questioning how my team ends up near the top of the standings every session if teams are picked fairly. Several people piled on with the "yeah!" type of huffing and puffing. Then one glorious example of intellect and integrity stepped up and informed everyone that my team has/had 8 different club players on the roster over the last year. One person did step up and point out that some of those kids just went to tryouts for the first time this month and weren't officially on the team yet.

I got to thinking about that and composed a simple reply acknowledging that I have, in fact, had 8 different club players in my squad over the last 12 months. Then I pointed out that not a single one of those players was a club player when they came to my team. In fact six of them just went to there first club tryout this month. I picked kids I liked, often who had parents that I had witnessed being good sports around the complex. I coached them, encouraged them, and where I saw something extra I encouraged the parents to consider club tryouts. I begged, borrowed, stole, and in one case paid to get them all a tryout with the club team when they were completely under the radar. Then I ran through the individuals.

Lil Lookout: Then:When he first stepped on the field nobody wanted him because he was too small. One of the reasons I stepped in as coach - no one wanted to be responsible for him getting hurt. Even now people who don't know him say he's too small because he easily gives up 15 lbs to his peers. Now: People complain he should move up an age group even though he still has a year and a half eligibility in this league.

B: Then: No one wanted him because he is hyperactive and ADD. Now: they comment about how he is a tireless fighter with a lust for goals.

They are both on my team now.

C1: Then: He was never picked by the same coach twice in a row because they didn't know what to do with him. Now: He is a 1st choice defender or midfielder and a 2nd choice keeper.

C2: Then: No one wanted him because he's just happy go lucky and not competitive. Now: he's an excellent midfielder who is willing to play any position you ask him to.

K: Then: No one wanted him because he is even smaller (a year younger) than Lil Lookout and doesn't have the nose for goal that he does. Now: He's an awesome natural left footer who leads the league in assists.

L: Then: Too slow. Too quiet. Not a fighter. Now: Knows he isn't fast but has developed awesome positional awareness and is an excellent defensive midfielder and a decent keeper.

M: Then: Good player but uninterested. Now: The total package. Big, can shoot, pass, dribble, and is unbeatable as a defesnsive midfielder. Just don't yell or he shuts off and is done. Don't make him tie his shoes either, he is uncomfortable with anything tight on his feet. weird, but true.

G: Then: Big and good positional sense but doesn't shoot well. Now: The single most powerful striker in the league. I don't like blocking his shots because they HURT. The key is he may be left handed and do everything else as a dominant left... but not shoot a soccer ball. His right foot is deadly anywhere from center field in.

All of these boys has been moved from my team for one reason or another. Two of them moved when their dad/dad's friend started coaching, two moved to the next age group, one only plays club now, one was taken to another team this session.

I suggested that instead of assuming I had stacked teams, consider that I saw kids whose talent wasn't being tapped and then gave them some encouragement as they became confident in their skills. I suggested that in the developmental league MAYBE we shouldn't be so concerned with the final score as we are with giving kids confidence to step out of their comfort zone by giving them permission to make mistakes without worrying about the consequences. I pointed out that my current team has less skill per child than the other teams in the league but can still hold it's own in games. Why? Because they are having fun they play hard and work as a team, this leads to them winning. It works in that order. They don't work hard, play as a team, and have fun because they win. Get the priorities straight.

It didn't take long for the replies to come flying back in that it is easy to have an attitude like that when my team is unbeatable. OK, seriously? Did you not even read what I wrote? I invited them to come to the tournament on saturday and watch what happens. It is a club tournament that Lil Lookout would have played in anyway, but some kids were getting left out because the rosters are locked at 7 players. So I took (with the director's blessing) Lil Lookout and formed a second team to put in the tournament.

Lil Lookout and D (the keeper) are the only two regular club players. K, J, C1, C2, and B all just tried out for the team but haven't played for a club yet. So I am effectively taking a team of rec kids to a club tournament. The tournament is for all players 8 years and under. I'm taking one 8 year old, two 7 year olds, three 6 year olds, and a 5 year old(almost 6). They've never played or practiced as a unit, but each one has played at least a couple games with at least one other person on the team. We won't win the tournament but we should win at least two games out of the five we are guaranteed. I think we will at least be competitive in the others. I guarantee they'll walk away smiling regardless of the point total.

Anyway, I threw down the challenge that if I can take this group into this tournament and win at least two games the haters have to drop the issue until the end of the session. Then we will discuss what changes we can make to our coaching program instead of trying to fix the problem by moving kids all over the place and separating them from their friends. We will work on coaching personalities and kids instead of jamming skills and drills down their throats like they're all little clones.

Keep your fingers crossed.

[lookout123]

Ha! All that planning and nothing to show for it. The tournament was cancelled. A few weeks ago I spoke with the people in charge of the tournament and was told that they already had six teams for that bracket, but they would make room for my teams. I put together two complete, equally balanced teams for the 8 and under age bracket, and one team for the 10 and under bracket. Trust me when I say it wasn't easy to get parent buy in for the middle of a holiday weekend. Two days before the tournament I heard a rumor which I explored and found to be fact. The only three teams in those two age groups were the ones that I assembled and registered. The other teams fell away for one reason or another. Anyway, no tournament.

It was really weird and awkward not having any soccer games for the weekend. Lil Lookout, 2.0, and I just sat around staring at each other Saturday morning for awhile before we realized we had better go find something to do. Talk about creatures of routine.

There will be no updates for this thread for the next couple weeks because we leave for Hawaii early Saturday morning. That means I had to find someone willing to step in and coach in my absence. No problem. I also had to find someone to coach them the way I like. Not a huge problem. I got B's dad to cover for the next couple weeks and possibly longer.

Coaching is going to be a bit difficult for me for awhile. I've had a string of injuries for going on 9 months now. Last fall I picked up playing in an outdoor league in addition to my normal indoor leagues. It was a blast and I had a load of fun, but I should have dropped another league rather than playing more. The body just isn't as young as it used to be. It all started out with a back injury from a slide tackle I suffered. I kept playing and was ok, but then the last game of that season I suffered a horrible groin pull. I've never had that before and should have taken some time off to heal, but I'm not that smart so I kept playing. The cycle really started there. Because the pain was pretty intense I fell out of my normal exercise routine and just played my games with plenty of advil. I would be pain free just in time for the first game of the week and in real pain by the last game of the week. But I kept going. I knew I was getting slower and not playing as well but I kept going. Pulled hamstring. Kept going. Back again. Kept playing. Twisted ankle. Kept playing. About a month or so ago I pulled the groin muscle again, but it felt worse. It went up higher. Then to my horror I realized in the shower that my six pack had become a seven pack. I tore the muscle and have a hernia. I knew I was going to have to have surgery for that, but wanted to wait until June when I got back from Hawaii. So I kept playing.

Murphy and his Law have passed judgement on my stubborn stupidity. I know full well that if you don't take the time to heal from injury that you will pick up other injuries as the body compensates. I knew that is what I was doing all year. But I kept going right up until Mr Murphy said "OK dumbass, it's time for you to take a break."

It was the Championship game for my Friday night team and my knee felt a little wonky during warm ups. I was going to take it fairly easy and planned to sub out a lot. Then fate intervened and put us in a situation with no substitutes. OK, whatever I warned everyone that I wouldn't be running as much as usual because my knee was sore. 45 seconds into the game I cleared the ball from the top of the goalbox when I felt my left knee give out. And then start burning. A lot. Like someone was holding a lighter to my skin. I knew that wasn't good so I hung back on defense for the next five minutes waiting for it to subside. We had no subs so I couldn't go out. Over the course of the game I discovered that kicking forward or in towards my body caused no discomfort. Lifting my foot up towards my butt or moving my foot out to the side gave me a pain that I can only equate to someone ripping my testicles out through the back of my knee.

Normally my greatest contribution on the field is my speed. I nearly always win the 50/50 ball. That night running was pretty much out ofthe question. I could do it and felt no pain during the effort, but after I stopped my leg was on fire. Strangely, I played one of the best games I have in quite some time. I scored a hattrick ( including a goal from center circle) - which is a once a year event for me. Yes, I know that common sense should have told me to sit out and ice the knee but I figured the damage was already done and if I was going to miss some time from the game I was going to enjoy this one night. We won the game 9-7.

Now I can't even play with the kids like normal. My knee is shot. So I am now relegated to coaching from a distance in a more hands off fashion. That's where B's dad comes in. He is going to fill in for me until I can fully recover.

When I get back from Hawaii I have an appointment with the doc for the hernia and the knee. I'm probably looking at two surgeries (depending on cost) and at least a couple months with no soccer.

[kerosene]

Ooh, that sucks, Lookout! I hope you relax and get a little healing on some of these injuries over your holiday. In fact, you are probably already there. Anyway, I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain!