Lover and/or Best Friend?

[Elspode]

I think that lovers certainly need to have elements of best friendship in their relationship in order for that relationship to prosper. Best friendship entails so many things - common interests, trust, innate understanding about how the other person works - things that are so indispensable in a satisfying and successful love relationship. But in my world, best friendship often entails acceptance and pursuit of any number of things that just wouldn't fly in my love relationships.

So...no, I don't think you *have* to be best friends to be successful lovers/partners. I think it might be awesome, though.

[Tree Fae]

My first husband had been my best friend/blood brother since we were 15 years old. It came as quite the shock to me to have him cheat on me multiple times. We didn't date till I was in collage, but I think overall he wanted to make the friendship more than it was, but still didn't have the dating experience he should have. It has taken a lot of years and life changes to see that.
My problem is that I tend to give everything to my partner wanting them to be my best friend, and this came back at me. I ended up with a highly dependent and heavily troubled husband. Thankfully I had other friends to turn too. Just a benefit for me that the main one became a main and important factor in my life. He is a friend as well as a lover.
I do wish I had a woman friend in town to have as a best friend, but that really has never been my way for some reason. I do have a long distance one but its not the same as having someone to do stuff with. I would like to have that.

[Ruminator]

Thanks Bruce.

In rereading my post #29, I just saw how it can be read in more than the way I meant it. The timing for the two actions I mentioned is problematic when read one way.
I guess I oversimplified the statement of my thought.

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quoted from Elspode-

So...no, I don't think you *have* to be best friends to be successful lovers/partners. I think it might be awesome, though.

- I have to say from my life experience that it is awesome for me. I get home from work first typically and often can't wait for my wife to get home so we can begin sharing the rest of our day together.

[Pooka]

I have very close female friends some might consider Best friends It is so important to have a good circle of friends your own gender. I didn't know just how important until my ex and I split. I also have a friend Flint and I consider our "Best Friend" ... I love him as much as it is possible to love a man and yet have no sexual interest in him... he is totally like a brother to us both... we even named our daughter after him, but I would have to say without a doubt that my absolute best friend is Flint. I wouldn't want it any other way. It makes life so much easier. We have no secrets from eachother... none intentially anyway. He is always the first person I want to share anything with and the first person I go to when I need comforting. He is consistantly there for me... either for fun, loving or just an ear. Flint is my favorite person... next to our kids of course. I'd rather hang out with him than do just about anything else regardless what we end up doing... or not doing. That I get to end my day with him and have amazing sex just makes it all that much more amazing.

I don't think you HAVE to be best friends to have a good romantic relationship, but if it is going to be a long term situation it I think you at least need to be friends. Sex is wonderful, but there is so much more to share.