Cherry's Shopping

[sugarpop]

Originally Posted by Brianna

"Once the clothes fit the rest follows..." is actually a brilliant re-stating of an AA principle: Fake it till you make it.

ACT like it's true and it soon WILL be true! example: New AA person, thinking to herself while at stupid AA meeting: "I fooking HATE AA meetings! Why can't I be like other people and just have three drinks and call it a night? WHY do I always end up in jail/squad car/hospital/at ex's/on phone to Fiji...whatever. These people make me sick. I despise them. I"m nothing like them! See? THAT stupid one just said he'd accidentally killed his best friend! Well, I"ve never killed anybody! There was that bunny rabbit I ran over Easter morning when I was coming home from Julie's party, but I had to drink that night! I"d done waaaay too much coke and needed a few good drinks in me to - hey, that woman just said the absolute dumbest thing I think I've ever heard; she said to pretend like I'm sober and happy and it will soon be true that I AM sober and happy...what a MORON! I"m gonna get outta here and call Julie; see if she wants to have a little night cap or whatever...but nothing big because I can't have people all up in my business thinking I can't have just a couple drinks every now and then; I wonder if Julie has any coke left...but I'm definitely just going to do a little, just a bit of coke and rum and more coke, ha ha , I'm so funny..."

If this poor newbie could just turn this inner dialogue around and say to herself, "I AM sober, I AM sober, I WANT sobriety, I WILL remain sober...ok, I don't really want to be in this AA meeting but I will pretend that I do want to be here; and I don't want a salad for lunch, I want Skyline chili with extra cheese and sour cream, but i will pretend to be a healthy person and have the salad..." it would come true or at least come partly true; maybe she would have a salad which might lead to her thinking she IS a healthier person and she won't drink or overeat just that day because she is pretending to be a healthy person.

Instead, she's probably going to go do coke and get drunk with Julie according to her inner monologue. At least this is my experience.

"fake it till you make it" is a proven way to get happier and become healthier. ACT AS IF you are a size 18 or whatever, act as IF you were serene and sober and pleased and your mind might follow your lead.

Love you, Cherry. Best.

When I first got sober back in 1989, I didn't intend to stay sober. I just wanted to get some control over my life. Once I had my 30 Day Chip, I fully intended to go out and celebrate. But, a funny thing happened. I got that first chip, and I found I wanted another one. After I got all my 30 day chips, I really wanted a 60 day chip, and so on and so on, until before I knew it, I had a year sober. That really kept me coming back.

That, and all the really cute guys.

Seriously though, I loved hearing all the stories people would tell. I did get sober in Los Angeles though. I don't think I could have done it anywhere else. I tried to when I lived in Savannah, and I just couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried. I also attended meetings when I went to San Francisco, and they weren't the same. They were much more somber. I needed the festive attitude so many LAliens had.

[sugarpop]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Oh honey. That's horrid. Night time sobbing is so exhausting. Makes you feel so out of control whilst it's happening. Probably did you good though. My guess is it wasnt really the thing with your Dad that you were crying over. Or, rather, it was probably not just about that. You've had a very stressful and unsettling week, since your support system changed. Add that to a couple of reminders from your mum and Dad about various upsetting things, and I suspect it all built up. Your Dad getting at you last night was likely just the breaking of the dam. Pretty understandable really, given the last couple of weeks. I realise there've been good things come out of the last week or so, including a new friend. But sometimes even good new things are unsettling *smiles* when added to a raft of other changes.

Glad you're feeling a little brighter this morning. Hold onto that next time the dam bursts at night. The dawn brings relief and and mornings can offer new perspectives.

You're doing brilliantly Cherry. I hope you're surprising yourself with your strength every time you blow away the storm clouds. You don't surprise us with it, of course....we know already know you're a warrior :

Good luck with the meds and acupuncture. And get that photo taken :P

I think Dana has said it very well. SG, I wrote a prayer back when I had about a year sober. I would like to share it with you. It's very personal, but I have actually given copies to a few select people.

Dear Creator,

Thank you for my sobriety.
My disease took me to the depths of hell. I was falling ever farther into the abyss. Deeper and deeper I plunged. I thought I would never make it out alive. I was engulfed in total darkenss. I had no hope, and I was totally alone. And just when I thought it was over, a tiny little speck of light appeared. Just a little speck. But as I looked, I could see that it wasn't a speck at all - but a ray; and as I reached out the ray grew brighter and brighter and I could see that I wasn't alone after all. And as I looked around I could see there were steps, and the people were taking these steps - and the steps led out of the darkness of the abyss and into the shining light of life, love, peace and joy. But most of all of hope. And this what Sobriety and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is to me. It's like the miracle of the sun - whose rays reach out and nourish those of us who are fortunate enough to have accepted it. And sometimes some of us fall down. But the light is always there; waiting, waiting, patiently - for us to get back up and start over, on our journey home.

[capnhowdy]

So then, you CAN actually shop sober?

I'll have to try that soon.