My friend with breast cancer - Page 3

monster · 06-08-2009, 11:36 AM

yeah, she suspects that was it, but why couldn't he just have said "hey, would you mind if I examine your lump to help me know what it feels like". All that "routine exam oh and while I'm here i should just check it...." BS. people with cancer don't need that BS. None of us do.

(This was not the doctor who initially referred her for tests -that was her OBGYN)

she also said that it was a medically-driven desire to grop -she could tell her midwife also was desperate for a feel when she was discussing "lumps in other people"

Queen of the Ryche · 06-09-2009, 09:46 AM

I would soooo want you there if I had cancer Mon. As many times as I've been in your position, I finally realized that THAT is exactly why she wants you around, and why you're such a special friend. I tend to use humor to deal with discomfort as well - was told by more than one firend/family member with cancer that it was such a relief after ALL of the "OMG! Are you okay? You can cry on my shoulder, here's a tissue" types.

DanaC · 06-10-2009, 05:04 PM

Well said Queenie.

monster · 06-10-2009, 06:05 PM

Thanks. And thank goodness it's OK because I just can't do the gushy thing. I took her for her day after shot today. It hurt. She's very tired and wobbly, but the drugs are keeping the nausea at bay. Neither of us wear make-up much but she asked me to take her to a hair/make-up for chemo people thing next week. I'm going, of course, but I half suspect she's doing it just to see exactly what awful things I'll do when she plays the C card

. (No, really she wants me to keep the gushing sharers at bay and stop them making her look like Barbie on Crack when she's too weak to say Stop! I think she's going because the workshop is there and sometimes you can't predict what help you're going to need to feel good.

limey · 06-10-2009, 06:07 PM

Monster - keep up the good work. I'm not a make-up person either, but it can be fun to experiment (even under these awful circumstances). I know you'll help your friend to have fun with the possibilities.
Hugs to you!

TheMercenary · 06-11-2009, 10:12 AM

Monsta = a good friend to have.

Queen of the Ryche · 06-11-2009, 10:41 AM

perhaps start the search for cool scarves or hats - a friend of mine did the whole scarf thing, and they looked great on her, but were hard to find. don' tknow if she'd want a wig - might want to start looking for that too, cuz they're doubly hard to find.
Ooh! She could join you and Cherry in the crazy color crowd! How fun!

monster · 06-11-2009, 12:14 PM

She already has hats and is knitting caps. no scarves and definitely no Cranial Prosthetics (srsly, it's the pc way to say w-i-g, i saw it on a cancer website). I suggested she should knit a hat that looks like a huge boob....

limey · 06-13-2009, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

She already has hats and is knitting caps. no scarves and definitely no Cranial Prosthetics (srsly, it's the pc way to say w-i-g, i saw it on a cancer website). I suggested she should knit a hat that looks like a huge boob....

Monster, if your friend is a member of Ravelry (knitting online community) there are patterns there that could be adapted to boob hats. If not, I'm happy to adapt something for her, if you let me know what level of [knitting] skills she has.
All the best to you and her!

Queen of the Ryche · 06-11-2009, 12:15 PM

nice.....I always said if it happened to me I'd wear a red bandana and an eye patch........

monster · 06-11-2009, 12:21 PM

ooh, i must suggest that. In fact maybe I will get her those very items. And a gold earring. She already poo-pooed my idea of loaning her the kids' dress-up hat collection. Court Jester one day, British bobby the next....

Trilby · 06-11-2009, 01:03 PM

I got great, awesome scarves from TLC. They were the big kind that you could tie like a gypsy. Beautiful, hand-printed designs, too. TLC is a catalogue for ca pts. bet her dr's office has it.

Look Good Feel Better - is a place where they show you how to not look so...cancer-y. I was so sick, though, i didn't really much care how I looked...but after loosing eyebrows AND lashes, you do tend to look like a melon. Featureless. it's depressing. at least it was for me.

Best to her, god love her.

monster · 06-11-2009, 01:08 PM

Thanks for the advice, Bri. She's getting ACT, by the way.

Trilby · 06-11-2009, 01:12 PM

Adriamycin and Cytoxan and Taxol?

I had Taxol (or Taxotere) first then the AC. It was a reverse order. They usually do AC first and THEN the Taxol.

monster · 06-11-2009, 01:17 PM

AC then T, yes

06-08-2009, 11:36 AM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	yeah, she suspects that was it, but why couldn't he just have said "hey, would you mind if I examine your lump to help me know what it feels like". All that "routine exam oh and while I'm here i should just check it...." BS. people with cancer don't need that BS. None of us do. (This was not the doctor who initially referred her for tests -that was her OBGYN) she also said that it was a medically-driven desire to grop -she could tell her midwife also was desperate for a feel when she was discussing "lumps in other people" __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

06-09-2009, 09:46 AM	#2
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	I would soooo want you there if I had cancer Mon. As many times as I've been in your position, I finally realized that THAT is exactly why she wants you around, and why you're such a special friend. I tend to use humor to deal with discomfort as well - was told by more than one firend/family member with cancer that it was such a relief after ALL of the "OMG! Are you okay? You can cry on my shoulder, here's a tissue" types. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

06-10-2009, 06:05 PM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Thanks. And thank goodness it's OK because I just can't do the gushy thing. I took her for her day after shot today. It hurt. She's very tired and wobbly, but the drugs are keeping the nausea at bay. Neither of us wear make-up much but she asked me to take her to a hair/make-up for chemo people thing next week. I'm going, of course, but I half suspect she's doing it just to see exactly what awful things I'll do when she plays the C card . (No, really she wants me to keep the gushing sharers at bay and stop them making her look like Barbie on Crack when she's too weak to say Stop! I think she's going because the workshop is there and sometimes you can't predict what help you're going to need to feel good. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

06-10-2009, 06:07 PM	#5
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Monster - keep up the good work. I'm not a make-up person either, but it can be fun to experiment (even under these awful circumstances). I know you'll help your friend to have fun with the possibilities. Hugs to you! __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

06-11-2009, 10:12 AM	#6
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Monsta = a good friend to have. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

06-11-2009, 10:41 AM	#7
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	perhaps start the search for cool scarves or hats - a friend of mine did the whole scarf thing, and they looked great on her, but were hard to find. don' tknow if she'd want a wig - might want to start looking for that too, cuz they're doubly hard to find. Ooh! She could join you and Cherry in the crazy color crowd! How fun! __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

06-11-2009, 12:14 PM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	She already has hats and is knitting caps. no scarves and definitely no Cranial Prosthetics (srsly, it's the pc way to say w-i-g, i saw it on a cancer website). I suggested she should knit a hat that looks like a huge boob.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

06-11-2009, 12:15 PM	#10
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	nice.....I always said if it happened to me I'd wear a red bandana and an eye patch........ __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

06-11-2009, 12:21 PM	#11
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	ooh, i must suggest that. In fact maybe I will get her those very items. And a gold earring. She already poo-pooed my idea of loaning her the kids' dress-up hat collection. Court Jester one day, British bobby the next.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

06-11-2009, 01:03 PM	#12
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I got great, awesome scarves from TLC. They were the big kind that you could tie like a gypsy. Beautiful, hand-printed designs, too. TLC is a catalogue for ca pts. bet her dr's office has it. Look Good Feel Better - is a place where they show you how to not look so...cancer-y. I was so sick, though, i didn't really much care how I looked...but after loosing eyebrows AND lashes, you do tend to look like a melon. Featureless. it's depressing. at least it was for me. Best to her, god love her. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

06-11-2009, 01:08 PM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Thanks for the advice, Bri. She's getting ACT, by the way. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

06-11-2009, 01:12 PM	#14
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Adriamycin and Cytoxan and Taxol? I had Taxol (or Taxotere) first then the AC. It was a reverse order. They usually do AC first and THEN the Taxol. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

06-11-2009, 01:17 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	AC then T, yes __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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