What would you do?

[BigV]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

That is utter BS. The responsibility of having kids is to make them contributing members of society who can stand on their own 2 feet without support and hopefully do something more than work at Starbucks. It is not to make them happy or become their best friends. In the end if you can do that it is a bonus. Hopefully they will become happy adults because of how you raised them. There are no promises that can or should happen.

Also outstanding.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by BigV

Outstanding.

Originally Posted by BigV

Also outstanding.

Do you mean to say that you think parents have more than one responsibility to their children???

What a thoughts!

[BigV]

I mean to say that as I read the thread, I came across xoB's post and I applauded it. Later, I read mercy's post, and I applaud that one too. Both men express the same idea, that the highest duty a parent owes his children is to prepare them well to live independently, a belief I share. Because I had posted my enthusiastic agreement to xoB's post before I'd read mercy's post, I felt it, too, deserved to be acknowledged.

It is most important to raise them well, happiness is *relatively* incidental.

[lumberjim]

being self sufficient, by my definition, is a prerequisite to happiness. If your goal is for your kids to grow up to be healthy, happy adults.....one must assume the basics like those bruce and merc mention. aim high!

[glatt]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

being self sufficient, by my definition, is a prerequisite to happiness. If your goal is for your kids to grow up to be healthy, happy adults.....one must assume the basics like those bruce and merc mention. aim high!

ditto.

I think we're arguing about the definition of happy. To me, a happy kid and a spoiled kid are two very different things.

[Aliantha]

I agree glatt, and I'll add that of course we all know that a new toy or whatever will bring momentary happiness based on a reaction to someone else's input ie the parent giving the child a gift. We all know that true happiness, that sense of contentment and faith in oneself is something else entirely, and is in my opinion as a parent, one of the big challenges of raising kids. Helping them understand that their happiness comes from themselves, not from what others do for them. Receiving a gift sort of happiness is more akin to gratitude and appreciation, which are also good traits in any adult and must be learned as a child.

And V, my intention with my previous post was to point out that there's more than one requirement in being a parent. That to bring up your kids well you need to consider both points Merc and Bruce made, just as you said. I was agreeing with your perspective.