Momdar 1926-2009 - Page 3

Flint · 10-29-2009, 12:27 PM

All I can offer you is a digital hug. But...
If you truly believe--it becomes a real hug.

Juniper · 10-29-2009, 02:25 PM

Been there done that, about two years ago. It really sucks. I'm so sorry for your loss, dar. Take care of yourself.

Queen of the Ryche · 10-29-2009, 03:32 PM

Well said Wolf. So sorry Dar - sounded like you were pretty close. Hugs to you and yours.

dar512 · 10-31-2009, 12:09 PM

Mom, maybe more than most, was hodge-podge of things – difficult if not impossible to summarize. If this all sounds a bit disjointed, I'm going to blame it on Mom.

Mom was born in July of 1926. A little over 3 years later the stock market took a nose dive and the great depression began. Mom said they never went hungry. Her dad sold fruit and vegetables from a truck in those years and everything not sold got eaten at home. I don't know how much effect that had – growing up in the depression. But I can tell you that Mom saved everything. Cindy's been sorting through Mom's paperwork – which we really appreciate. I think she's up to 1989 now.

Just out of high school, Mom was looking for work and submitted her application to Southwestern Bell. They were so impressed with the precision of her handwriting, that they offered her a job as a draftsperson. The very first woman draftsperson at Southwestern Bell, as it turns out. ::: We got to hear this story more than once as kids. It was our family's version of an Aesop's fable – pointing out the virtues of doing a good job on even the smallest task.

Later Mom did bookkeeping and general office work for Mr. Unland's construction company.

But Mom spent most of her working years as an artist and small business owner. The boxes and thing you see here are her work. For 30-something years, Mom painted and sold decorative objects, taught painting classes and created designs and projects to sell.

She was a talented artist, I think -- not that she would have used that word. Crafts – she might have said. Mom was never one to put herself forward.

Likes:
Crafts and artwork
Kids especially babies. (Baby in the commercial story. Baby had Mom's entire attention until the commercial was over)
chocolate – most desserts
Apple computers (more on that later)
Mom liked games. Cards, board games, computer games.
Apeiron – shoot em up
Most days played solitaire on the computer before going to bed

Dislikes:
Chinese restaurants – she said it was because you couldn't get a salad or bread.
Pretentious people – she didn't count herself better than others and she didn't like it when other people did.
Anything of a personal nature being aired in public. She was quite crotchety when ads for pads and so forth started appearing on TV. What's next, she would say, jock straps? I never heard her say anything about ads for viagra. Maybe she'd given up by then.

+++++

Your parents influence you in a zillion ways in the many tiny moments that make up your time together. And you never know which moments will affect your kids.

When I was in 7th or 8th grade, Mom got me a bunch of science-fiction paperbacks. She'd managed to find a salesperson knowledgeable in the area and had them pick out some of the best stuff. I still have those paperbacks. Which, I guess shows that I don't throw things out either. I still enjoy science fiction and I guess Mom had something to do with that.

When I was a teen, channel 11 used to run short reel mysteries on Saturday afternoon. I particularly liked the Charlie Chan movies. Mom and I would often watch these together and we'd compete to see who could guess the bad guy first. “You watch. The butler will turn out to be the ingenue's father”. “No, no. I think the laundry guy is actually the vengeful ex-partner in disguise.” I still can't watch a movie without trying to guess ahead as to how it's going to come out.

Today I program computers for a living (is that the Science Fiction influence?) and finding bugs or problems in the code is a more interesting mystery than most CSI shows.

Mom ended up with the computer bug, too. In 1988, Mom was able to get a Macintosh computer at a discount through Cindy's work at General Dynamics. I'm not sure what Mom thought she was going to do with it, but it started a fascination that continued right up to the end.

Mom has had 3 or 4 more Macs since the first one. Mom would hang on to a computer as long as possible. But when she would upgrade, she'd always get top-of-the-line. Her current computer is better than what we've got in the server room at work.

Lynn and I moved away many years ago. But each time we'd be in town, Mom would think of something for me to upgrade or fix on her computer. I think it was one of her ways to make sure we spent some time together.

Mom was not much for giving praise. But every time she called me to come upgrade her hardware or her software I knew it was her way of saying “I love you”. And every time I spent hours getting something to work right, she knew I was saying “I love you too”.

One of the last things Mom said to me was to take care of her computer.

++++++++

Mom was not much for coming to you. Maybe it had something to do with not putting herself forward. But she loved when people came to visit her.

You could see it in the way Mom enjoyed having the Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve parties. She never wanted to be the focus of attention, even as hostess. But she loved having everyone there. You could often find her sitting back in the corner -- watching the action with a smile on her face.

So thank you all for being here tonight and allowing Mom to have her family and friends visit – one last time.

dar512 · 10-31-2009, 12:22 PM

.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-31-2009, 12:25 PM

Thanks for inviting us to the party.

Shawnee123 · 10-31-2009, 03:27 PM

dar, that's beautiful. She's beautiful. Thank you.

classicman · 10-31-2009, 06:58 PM

Absolutely beautiful, both your mother and your words.

Undertoad · 10-31-2009, 07:21 PM

Well done, sir, a fine tribute.

skysidhe · 10-31-2009, 07:36 PM

A beautiful tribute. Thanks dar

limey · 11-01-2009, 05:34 PM

A lovely tribute for a lovely lady. Fabulous photo, dar. Well done, and hugs to you and your family.

DanaC · 11-01-2009, 05:44 PM

My deepest sympathy Dar. *hug*

The eulogy is beautiful. Your mum sounds like she was a wonderful person. I'd have loved to know her. And she was beautiful too. Her picture looks like a great actress from the golden age of Hollywood.

Radar · 11-01-2009, 05:52 PM

Your mom was a very pretty lady. I'm sorry for your loss Dar. What's with everyone's mom dying lately? I'm worried about mine too. She's having health problems.

dar512 · 11-03-2009, 09:00 AM

Thanks everyone for your kind words. The response here helped me get through last week.

bbro · 11-03-2009, 10:34 AM

My condolences for you and your family. That was a lovely tribute and a great photo.

10-29-2009, 12:27 PM	#1
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	All I can offer you is a digital hug. But... If you truly believe--it becomes a real hug. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-29-2009, 03:32 PM	#3
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	Well said Wolf. So sorry Dar - sounded like you were pretty close. Hugs to you and yours. __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

10-31-2009, 12:09 PM	#4
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Mom's Eulogy Mom, maybe more than most, was hodge-podge of things – difficult if not impossible to summarize. If this all sounds a bit disjointed, I'm going to blame it on Mom. Mom was born in July of 1926. A little over 3 years later the stock market took a nose dive and the great depression began. Mom said they never went hungry. Her dad sold fruit and vegetables from a truck in those years and everything not sold got eaten at home. I don't know how much effect that had – growing up in the depression. But I can tell you that Mom saved everything. Cindy's been sorting through Mom's paperwork – which we really appreciate. I think she's up to 1989 now. Just out of high school, Mom was looking for work and submitted her application to Southwestern Bell. They were so impressed with the precision of her handwriting, that they offered her a job as a draftsperson. The very first woman draftsperson at Southwestern Bell, as it turns out. ::: We got to hear this story more than once as kids. It was our family's version of an Aesop's fable – pointing out the virtues of doing a good job on even the smallest task. Later Mom did bookkeeping and general office work for Mr. Unland's construction company. But Mom spent most of her working years as an artist and small business owner. The boxes and thing you see here are her work. For 30-something years, Mom painted and sold decorative objects, taught painting classes and created designs and projects to sell. She was a talented artist, I think -- not that she would have used that word. Crafts – she might have said. Mom was never one to put herself forward. Likes: Crafts and artwork Kids especially babies. (Baby in the commercial story. Baby had Mom's entire attention until the commercial was over) chocolate – most desserts Apple computers (more on that later) Mom liked games. Cards, board games, computer games. Apeiron – shoot em up Most days played solitaire on the computer before going to bed Dislikes: Chinese restaurants – she said it was because you couldn't get a salad or bread. Pretentious people – she didn't count herself better than others and she didn't like it when other people did. Anything of a personal nature being aired in public. She was quite crotchety when ads for pads and so forth started appearing on TV. What's next, she would say, jock straps? I never heard her say anything about ads for viagra. Maybe she'd given up by then. +++++ Your parents influence you in a zillion ways in the many tiny moments that make up your time together. And you never know which moments will affect your kids. When I was in 7th or 8th grade, Mom got me a bunch of science-fiction paperbacks. She'd managed to find a salesperson knowledgeable in the area and had them pick out some of the best stuff. I still have those paperbacks. Which, I guess shows that I don't throw things out either. I still enjoy science fiction and I guess Mom had something to do with that. When I was a teen, channel 11 used to run short reel mysteries on Saturday afternoon. I particularly liked the Charlie Chan movies. Mom and I would often watch these together and we'd compete to see who could guess the bad guy first. “You watch. The butler will turn out to be the ingenue's father”. “No, no. I think the laundry guy is actually the vengeful ex-partner in disguise.” I still can't watch a movie without trying to guess ahead as to how it's going to come out. Today I program computers for a living (is that the Science Fiction influence?) and finding bugs or problems in the code is a more interesting mystery than most CSI shows. Mom ended up with the computer bug, too. In 1988, Mom was able to get a Macintosh computer at a discount through Cindy's work at General Dynamics. I'm not sure what Mom thought she was going to do with it, but it started a fascination that continued right up to the end. Mom has had 3 or 4 more Macs since the first one. Mom would hang on to a computer as long as possible. But when she would upgrade, she'd always get top-of-the-line. Her current computer is better than what we've got in the server room at work. Lynn and I moved away many years ago. But each time we'd be in town, Mom would think of something for me to upgrade or fix on her computer. I think it was one of her ways to make sure we spent some time together. Mom was not much for giving praise. But every time she called me to come upgrade her hardware or her software I knew it was her way of saying “I love you”. And every time I spent hours getting something to work right, she knew I was saying “I love you too”. One of the last things Mom said to me was to take care of her computer. ++++++++ Mom was not much for coming to you. Maybe it had something to do with not putting herself forward. But she loved when people came to visit her. You could see it in the way Mom enjoyed having the Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve parties. She never wanted to be the focus of attention, even as hostess. But she loved having everyone there. You could often find her sitting back in the corner -- watching the action with a smile on her face. So thank you all for being here tonight and allowing Mom to have her family and friends visit – one last time. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

10-31-2009, 12:22 PM	#5
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Mom just after WWII . Attached Images __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

10-31-2009, 12:25 PM	#6
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Thanks for inviting us to the party. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-29-2009, 02:25 PM	#2
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	Been there done that, about two years ago. It really sucks. I'm so sorry for your loss, dar. Take care of yourself.

10-31-2009, 03:27 PM	#7
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	dar, that's beautiful. She's beautiful. Thank you. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

10-31-2009, 06:58 PM	#8
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Absolutely beautiful, both your mother and your words. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt Last edited by classicman; 10-31-2009 at 07:37 PM.

10-31-2009, 07:21 PM	#9
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Well done, sir, a fine tribute.

10-31-2009, 07:36 PM	#10
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	A beautiful tribute. Thanks dar

11-01-2009, 05:34 PM	#11
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	A lovely tribute for a lovely lady. Fabulous photo, dar. Well done, and hugs to you and your family. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

11-01-2009, 05:52 PM	#13
Radar Constitutional Scholar Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Ocala, FL Posts: 4,006	Your mom was a very pretty lady. I'm sorry for your loss Dar. What's with everyone's mom dying lately? I'm worried about mine too. She's having health problems. __________________ "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin

11-03-2009, 09:00 AM	#14
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Thanks everyone for your kind words. The response here helped me get through last week. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

11-03-2009, 10:34 AM	#15
bbro Insert witty comment here Join Date: May 2004 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 2,182	My condolences for you and your family. That was a lovely tribute and a great photo.

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