Well that's that - Page 3

Trilby · 07-08-2012, 09:37 PM

Your relationship with J lasted longer than BOTH my marriages together.

You're not a fucked up, shit-not-together person.

To dig up a really old but really true cliche: whenever I'm pointing the finger of blame at someone, I've got three fingers pointing back at me. I LOVE to externalize my problems on to other people. Food for thought.

monster · 07-08-2012, 10:41 PM

Another cliche, it's probably more about her than you.

Some people -when they realise they are unhappy with themselves/their lives- go for the jugular as a quick answer -get rid of everything and all will get better.

Maybe she realised you noticed the 100lb. Probably easier to get rid of you than that.... Maybe you don't care about the 100lb, but if she did (deep inside), doesn't matter what you thought.....

classicman · 07-09-2012, 12:19 AM

Damn Tony. Hopin it gets a little better for you every day.
At least now you've got no excuse to miss bowling with Jim & I.

jimhelm · 07-09-2012, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

Damn Tony. Hopin it gets a little better for you every day.
At least now you've got no excuse to miss bowling with Jim & I.

word.

AND!

Let's go to Victory Brewing again sometime. Not only will I not judge you for having a 3rd beer, I'll chug you for who buys the 4th!

ZenGum · 07-09-2012, 06:46 AM

Well, crap.

infinite monkey · 07-09-2012, 09:07 AM

I'm so sorry to read this.

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jimhelm · 07-09-2012, 09:39 AM

someone find that post Tony made where he was playing Bass in his old band, and there were some chicks hitting on him.

Spexxvet · 07-09-2012, 09:58 AM

Sorry to hear this, Tony

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

but goddammit this woman gained 100 pounds during our time together and i was nothing but supportive about whatever decisions she made about it. somehow she still got mad at me and needed me to change. i don't know what a relationship is any more. it's not showing love. whatever that is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

whenever I'm pointing the finger of blame at someone, I've got three fingers pointing back at me. I LOVE to externalize my problems on to other people. Food for thought.

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

it's probably more about her than you.

Some people -when they realise they are unhappy with themselves/their lives- go for the jugular as a quick answer -get rid of everything and all will get better.

Maybe she realised you noticed the 100lb. Probably easier to get rid of you than that.... Maybe you don't care about the 100lb, but if she did (deep inside), doesn't matter what you thought.....

I agree with Bri and Monster. It could very well be externalized self-loathing. I've been there. On both ends.

Undertoad · 07-09-2012, 10:04 AM

She never wanted to go anywhere. She was actually apologetic about her weight. A few times we would run into people I knew and she was always like, oh god oh god I'm sorry people had to see you with me. And I was like, J, christ, don't ever say that. Shit happens.

But when I suggested she was unhappy with herself she would deny it

Quote:

someone find that post Tony made where he was playing Bass in his old band, and there were some chicks hitting on him.

This never actually happened to my knowledge.

jimhelm · 07-09-2012, 10:24 AM

oh. maybe that was some other UT I know.

or maybe we talked about it in chat.

or maybe I'm seeing the FUTURE!

SamIam · 07-09-2012, 07:34 PM

Break ups suck. Sorry you have to go thru this, UT. Ftankly, it sounds like she didn't have all HER shit together, so why should she be down on you?

Undertoad · 07-09-2012, 10:41 AM

Chicks hit on the skinny guitarist, not the fat bassist, it's just a fact of life.

eta no there was that one time when this lovely dark gal shook her ass directly at me, but it wasn't hitting on me, she immediately left after that, but I took it as her way of saying that I was bringing some serious funk which for a bassist is even better than actually getting hit on.

jimhelm · 07-09-2012, 10:45 AM

Thats what I was thinking of.

And she was hitting on you...and girls like the thick string.

•spoken in to my phone

Nirvana · 07-09-2012, 11:28 AM

"feels good after it stops hurtin"

I hope that will be your future [hugs]

Glinda · 07-09-2012, 12:19 PM

Very sad. Sorry, UT.

But here's the thing - after all that time of being a part of something else, you need time to be yourself again. It sucks not having your partner there to chat with, bounce ideas off of, or just sit in silence, but you're clearly healthy in the head or you wouldn't be in mourning at the moment.

So, PLEASE don't try to fill the temporary void with anything else but yourself for at least six months, longer if possible. When my ex and I broke up after 11 years, I was just... broken, for want of a better word. I felt like one of my lungs had stopped working, or something.

But I learned to breathe again. And in that learning process, I discovered that I was actually a better, happier, healthier person on my own. I realized that I was what fulfilled me, and that whatever came along in the form of another person/relationship would be the icing on the cake that was me.

BE THE CAKE!

07-08-2012, 09:37 PM	#1
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Your relationship with J lasted longer than BOTH my marriages together. You're not a fucked up, shit-not-together person. To dig up a really old but really true cliche: whenever I'm pointing the finger of blame at someone, I've got three fingers pointing back at me. I LOVE to externalize my problems on to other people. Food for thought. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

07-08-2012, 10:41 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Another cliche, it's probably more about her than you. Some people -when they realise they are unhappy with themselves/their lives- go for the jugular as a quick answer -get rid of everything and all will get better. Maybe she realised you noticed the 100lb. Probably easier to get rid of you than that.... Maybe you don't care about the 100lb, but if she did (deep inside), doesn't matter what you thought..... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-09-2012, 12:19 AM	#3
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Damn Tony. Hopin it gets a little better for you every day. At least now you've got no excuse to miss bowling with Jim & I. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

07-09-2012, 06:46 AM	#5
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Well, crap. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

07-09-2012, 09:39 AM	#7
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	someone find that post Tony made where he was playing Bass in his old band, and there were some chicks hitting on him. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

07-09-2012, 09:07 AM	#6
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I'm so sorry to read this. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

07-09-2012, 10:24 AM	#10
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	oh. maybe that was some other UT I know. or maybe we talked about it in chat. or maybe I'm seeing the FUTURE! __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

07-09-2012, 07:34 PM	#11
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Break ups suck. Sorry you have to go thru this, UT. Ftankly, it sounds like she didn't have all HER shit together, so why should she be down on you?

07-09-2012, 10:41 AM	#12
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Chicks hit on the skinny guitarist, not the fat bassist, it's just a fact of life. eta no there was that one time when this lovely dark gal shook her ass directly at me, but it wasn't hitting on me, she immediately left after that, but I took it as her way of saying that I was bringing some serious funk which for a bassist is even better than actually getting hit on.

07-09-2012, 10:45 AM	#13
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	Thats what I was thinking of. And she was hitting on you...and girls like the thick string. •spoken in to my phone __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

07-09-2012, 11:28 AM	#14
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	"feels good after it stops hurtin" I hope that will be your future [hugs] __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

07-09-2012, 12:19 PM	#15
Glinda Fucktard Resistance League Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: 1.14 acres of heaven Posts: 1,512	Very sad. Sorry, UT. But here's the thing - after all that time of being a part of something else, you need time to be yourself again. It sucks not having your partner there to chat with, bounce ideas off of, or just sit in silence, but you're clearly healthy in the head or you wouldn't be in mourning at the moment. So, PLEASE don't try to fill the temporary void with anything else but yourself for at least six months, longer if possible. When my ex and I broke up after 11 years, I was just... broken, for want of a better word. I felt like one of my lungs had stopped working, or something. But I learned to breathe again. And in that learning process, I discovered that I was actually a better, happier, healthier person on my own. I realized that I was what fulfilled me, and that whatever came along in the form of another person/relationship would be the icing on the cake that was me. BE THE CAKE!

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