King of America

[wolf]

How's about reinstating the constitution.

For real.

No bullshit this time.

Oh, and about people in the nuthouse voting? They can. We have, in fact, transported patients to their polling place on election day.

It's one of the rights that they don't use.

Requests for this are infrequent, but we do it.

[be-bop]

As an outsider looking in maybe I can offer a different prospective.
I have 3 suggestions which should take us nicely up to March

1.Pass a law that states that the very ambition to run for office to be any kind of politician automatically bars you from taking any office.(how wonderful the world would be without politicians).

2.This might cause a stir?..That the right to bear arms be changed to the right to bear soft fruit.
I have never heard of anyone being killed or maimed by a ripe banana.

3.Close down Macdonalds and defrock Ronald Macdonald as a US icon he used to scare my kids (too creepy).
Their food is tasteless,falls to bits.and the coffee is awful.
What the US people decide to change them to, I bow to your better judgement.

[lumberjim]

Originally posted by be-bop

2.This might cause a stir?..That the right to bear arms be changed to the right to bear soft fruit.
I have never heard of anyone being killed or maimed by a ripe banana.

been watching python?

wha' aboot a pointed stick?

no no , come at me with the banana

right

**5000lbs falls from above***

see? that's how you defend yourslef when someone attacks you with fruit

[Happy Monkey]

Ah, but in Python, it was fresh fruit, which is much sharper than soft fruit.

[lumberjim]

frivolous law suits

I've been away from the throne. sorry. here's June's law:

If you sue someone and lose, and the judge determines that the suit was unfounded and frivolous, you and your attorney must pay the amount that you were suing for. this amount will be divided between the state and the defendant. the state will use the money for public benefit only...ie..parks projects, tax credits, etc... If the defendant is a corporation with more than 50 employees, the money must be spent on improving work environment and safety in their place of business.


May's law:

Doctors found guilty of negligence or malpractice that results in the death of a patient, and said deaths can be proven to be so, wil be criminally prosecuted without exception. If doctors want to reap the rewards of their power, they should also be subject to the penalties of misuse of that power.

[Beestie]

regarding frivolous lawsuits...

I think the way to fix the problem is to not give the punative damages to the plaintiff. The punative damages should go into some type of charatible fund. Out of the punative damages, the attorneys should only be paid the rate they charge their non-lawsuit clients for only the hours they worked + reasonable expenses.

Punative damages are the gasoline that feeds the fire of lawsuits. If your brakes fail and the auto company knew that they would, how does that make you the recipient of a punative damage award sufficient to discourage and penalize the company for the mistake? I agree that the company owes the money - that's justice. But I violently disagree that the company owes the money to the plaintiff.

The plaintiff is only entitled to just compensation for his/her loss. The attorneys are only entitled to compensation for the work that they did. Anything over and above that should go to a charity or a charitable fund for uncompensated victims.

But, I'm not the king so lawyers can continue to drive up health care costs and drive good doctors into retirement while the politicians continue to blame the health insurance companies for it.

[Happy Monkey]

Originally posted by lumberjim
If you sue someone and lose, and the judge determines that the suit was unfounded and frivolous, you and your attorney must pay the amount that you were suing for.

I had a similar idea, but more general. Loser pays attorney's fees in a civil suit. But, so a massive corporation can't just throw money at a case to scare away lawsuits, the loser pays an amount equal to their own legal fees to the winner, in addition to whatever judgement there was, if any.

[Radar]

All laws restricting or prohibiting any consensual activity are hereby abolished. This includes but is not limited to prostitution, gay marriage, any kind of consensual sex, suicide, gambling, any kind of gun ownership, any kind of drug manufacture..sales...and use, traveling anonymously, etc. And all non-violent criminals being held in jails for these charges are to be released immediately.

[jdbutler]

Two years mandatory (and paid) military service starting at 18 years of age.
Those not physically capable may opt for some type of social service work.

[Troubleshooter]

Originally posted by jdbutler
Two years mandatory (and paid) military service starting at 18 years of age.
Those not physically capable may opt for some type of social service work.

There may need to be some flexibility to the age bracket. Imagine if every 18 year old today was instantly in gov't service.

[smoothmoniker]

I'm a little late, so here's my catch-up

January - flat tax of 20% on every person, every corporation. No loopholes. No exemptions. No more social engineering by means of the tax code.

February - Institute a new $2 per gallon tax on non-commercial gasoline. Taxes to go into a fund that is split between mass transit funding and grants for new transportation technology development. I know this is pretty contrary to most of my political leanings, but I earnestly believe that we need to move our economy off of an oil basis in order to remain competitive. The thought that a cartel of countries that hate us can fundamentally alter our economic strength keeps me awake at night.

March - School vouchers. Education is now a public obligation fulfilled through private innovation. Vouchers extend all the way up through 2 years of community college.

April - accidentally "forget" to renew the UN's lease in NYC. I don't mind if the petty despots and tyrants of the world gather to foment their tirades against the US. I mind that they do it on our soil.

May – Institue a new term limits policy. You may serve in an elected public office for one term. That’s not one term per office, that’s one term period. If you spend a term as mayor, you’re done. You have to go back to the private sector and make a real living after that. You may not run for state Senate, for Governor, President. You’re done. Go get a real job.

June – That all the children of the world would join together, holding hands, and sing for peace. Also, I want a million dollars.

[lumberjim]

Originally posted by smoothmoniker

Also, I want a million dollars.

psst, dr evilmoniker.....it's 2004...you might want to up the anty.

[wolf]

Smooth, consider yourself retroactively assassinated on 2/2.

$2 a fucking gallon?

[lumberjim]

i like the gas tax. he's right. we'd be burning methynol in short order. and maybe we wouldnt throw away most of our corn. and fuck saudi arabia, btw

[glatt]

Originally posted by lumberjim
i like the gas tax. he's right. we'd be burning methynol in short order. and maybe we wouldnt throw away most of our corn. and fuck saudi arabia, btw

Not to mention global warming.

Wait. I just mentioned it. Damn.