Turd assocation - Page 3

limey · 07-07-2004, 06:17 PM

Turdulence - that windy feeling you get just before you're due to drop one ...

Crimson Ghost · 07-07-2004, 10:04 PM

Green Apple Splatters

limey · 07-08-2004, 02:08 AM

Turdulence - lumpy flatulence.

Cyber Wolf · 07-08-2004, 06:51 AM

Tijuana Two-Step Turd - turd in liquid form that has a tendency to force its way out like kids from class on the last day of school, only YOU'RE the one yelling and screaming

Griff · 12-29-2004, 09:58 AM

Examination Emanation. That sinking feeling you get wearing light colored kakis while standing for your masters orals.

Roosta · 12-29-2004, 04:47 PM

Shotgun shit. Leaves the bogpan looking like the side of a mud-splattered Range Rover.

Elspode · 12-29-2004, 04:54 PM

Quantum Shitics...the scientific attempt to determine whether you're about to pass a liquid, gas or solid.

dar512 · 12-30-2004, 06:48 PM

The Trotsky. Don't dawdle on the way.

limey · 12-31-2004, 03:28 AM

Turdally comfortable - how you feel after a good one.

limey · 12-31-2004, 12:49 PM

Okay, okay, someone has to do this, even if I get BANNED ....
Underturd - supreme being in a virtual environment who cannot take a joke .... [ducks to avoid missiles] ... (it's been nice knowing ya!)

Nightsong · 01-05-2005, 10:47 AM

The Soft Serve turd= The soft and squishy type that makes you feel like a soft serve Icecream machine. The little spiral mounds should only be attempted by pro-shitters. Often comes in different colors.

Nightsong · 01-05-2005, 10:52 AM

The last post was for Sixfeet, she dictated. Heres mine.

The extinction turd= A turd so foul and evil smelling that on exiting the loo you find that not only have the humans dissappeared but also the dogs, cats and assorted household animals have also fled. THis leave the house seemingly empty and desolate. The bodies are often found huddled together against the closed outside door where they sucumbed to the fumes.

Beestie · 01-05-2005, 11:25 AM

The dreaded and openly-feared LMUBW (Left My Underbritches in the Bathroom Wastebucket) turd. A particularly menacing turd that disguises itself as a fart to escape its confines prior to its scheduled release. This particular variety causes one to walk awkwardly to the restroom, seek out the handicap stall, whip out the trusty pocketknife, saw one's underbritches off (since sliding them down and over one's shoes is a risky proposition at best), clean up, listen carefully to make sure no one else is in the restroom and deftly smuggle said underbritches out of the stall and deposit them in the restroom waste bucket and cover them with a multitude of paper towells.

There is one ray of sunshine to this otherwise nefarious turd and that is the cool breeze in unexpected places that ensues for the rest of the day.

One word of caution, however, when experiencing the merciless onslaught of an LMUBW turd is that when you come home and change britches you need to be alone lest you might have some serious 'splainin to do.

Undertoad · 01-05-2005, 11:39 AM

couple of things you left out

- spitting on toilet paper trying to get it moist enough to wipe your ass totally clean. You could walk pantsless to the sink, which would be ruinous if walked in on; or you could use the toilet water. Either alternative is unacceptable.

- doing a complete stink test of your remaining trousers to determine 100% whether they came out of this OK.

- the worry for the rest of the time that every little intestinal pain might be a return event "aftershock" which, sans drawers, would be absolutely 100% devastating.

404Error · 01-05-2005, 12:09 PM

Ooookay. I was sitting here trying to decide what to have for lunch while reading this thread. Beestie and UT's posts made me realize I'm not really that hungry anyway. Thanks guys.

07-07-2004, 06:17 PM	#31
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Turdulence - that windy feeling you get just before you're due to drop one ... __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

07-07-2004, 10:04 PM	#32
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	Green Apple Splatters __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

07-08-2004, 02:08 AM	#33
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Turdulence - lumpy flatulence. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

07-08-2004, 06:51 AM	#34
Cyber Wolf As stable as a ring of PU-239 Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: On a huge rock covered in water, highly advanced moss and 7 billion parasites Posts: 1,264	Tijuana Two-Step Turd - turd in liquid form that has a tendency to force its way out like kids from class on the last day of school, only YOU'RE the one yelling and screaming __________________ "I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then getting' upset 'cos they act like people." ~Adam Young, Good Omens "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out." ~Adam Young, Good Omens

12-29-2004, 09:58 AM	#35
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Examination Emanation. That sinking feeling you get wearing light colored kakis while standing for your masters orals. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-29-2004, 04:47 PM	#36
Roosta Nutter. Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: England Posts: 221	Shotgun shit. Leaves the bogpan looking like the side of a mud-splattered Range Rover. __________________ Back from the brink...

12-29-2004, 04:54 PM	#37
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Quantum Shitics...the scientific attempt to determine whether you're about to pass a liquid, gas or solid. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

12-30-2004, 06:48 PM	#38
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	The Trotsky. Don't dawdle on the way.

12-31-2004, 03:28 AM	#39
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Turdally comfortable - how you feel after a good one. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

12-31-2004, 12:49 PM	#40
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Okay, okay, someone has to do this, even if I get BANNED .... Underturd - supreme being in a virtual environment who cannot take a joke .... [ducks to avoid missiles] ... (it's been nice knowing ya!) __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of Last edited by limey; 12-31-2004 at 12:52 PM. Reason: to correct typos

01-05-2005, 10:47 AM	#41
Nightsong Wang Dude Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: South Carolina Posts: 177	The Soft Serve turd= The soft and squishy type that makes you feel like a soft serve Icecream machine. The little spiral mounds should only be attempted by pro-shitters. Often comes in different colors.

01-05-2005, 10:52 AM	#42
Nightsong Wang Dude Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: South Carolina Posts: 177	The last post was for Sixfeet, she dictated. Heres mine. The extinction turd= A turd so foul and evil smelling that on exiting the loo you find that not only have the humans dissappeared but also the dogs, cats and assorted household animals have also fled. THis leave the house seemingly empty and desolate. The bodies are often found huddled together against the closed outside door where they sucumbed to the fumes.

01-05-2005, 11:25 AM	#43
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	The dreaded and openly-feared LMUBW (Left My Underbritches in the Bathroom Wastebucket) turd. A particularly menacing turd that disguises itself as a fart to escape its confines prior to its scheduled release. This particular variety causes one to walk awkwardly to the restroom, seek out the handicap stall, whip out the trusty pocketknife, saw one's underbritches off (since sliding them down and over one's shoes is a risky proposition at best), clean up, listen carefully to make sure no one else is in the restroom and deftly smuggle said underbritches out of the stall and deposit them in the restroom waste bucket and cover them with a multitude of paper towells. There is one ray of sunshine to this otherwise nefarious turd and that is the cool breeze in unexpected places that ensues for the rest of the day. One word of caution, however, when experiencing the merciless onslaught of an LMUBW turd is that when you come home and change britches you need to be alone lest you might have some serious 'splainin to do. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

01-05-2005, 11:39 AM	#44
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	couple of things you left out - spitting on toilet paper trying to get it moist enough to wipe your ass totally clean. You could walk pantsless to the sink, which would be ruinous if walked in on; or you could use the toilet water. Either alternative is unacceptable. - doing a complete stink test of your remaining trousers to determine 100% whether they came out of this OK. - the worry for the rest of the time that every little intestinal pain might be a return event "aftershock" which, sans drawers, would be absolutely 100% devastating.

01-05-2005, 12:09 PM	#45
404Error Lecturer Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: CT USA Posts: 826	Ooookay. I was sitting here trying to decide what to have for lunch while reading this thread. Beestie and UT's posts made me realize I'm not really that hungry anyway. Thanks guys. __________________ "To disarm the people is the most effectual way to enslave them." ~George Mason~

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