What's upsetting you today?

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by skysidhe

Cancers are beautiful souls.My niece is a Cancer.

Whether you believe in signs or not at least it gives people a reason to think nice things.

The Chinese zodiac not so much as far as some of the names.

Why thank you sky, that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me on da Cellar...

[skysidhe]

No need to take an inference.
I said an explicitly nice thing about you.

hehehe evil laugh. Good luck finding the original post though.

Originally Posted by skysidhe

,Merc's softer side,etc...etc..and a dozen other people who make this a truly special place to be.

Thank you all for being the wild conglomeration that you are but especially for the constant laughs.

[Sundae]

Not so much upsetting me personally, but a cloud in the family sky at least.

Cousin Susan called to say that Uncle Charlie died on Monday.
Now Charlie was married to Mary (deceased) who was my Mum's mother's sister (also deceased). Which is why we weren't called immediately of course.

However Mum & Susan have become closer over the years, and now talk at least once a fortnight. They are only about 10 years apart, both lost their mothers, both looking after ageing fathers and have both had cancer of one sort or another.

So although I haven't seen (Great) Uncle Charlie in years, I do feel Mum's sorrow on behalf of her cousin.

Then again, he was only in hospital (this time) from Friday, and when Susan saw him on Sunday he was eating well and saying, "I'm alright, gel." So although he'd been ill for years, on oxygen and in and out of hospital, at the end he succumbed to pneumonia quickly, quietly and peacefully.

Susan was there with 10 minutes to spare after getting a call at work to say he was on his way out. So she feels no guilt at least.

RIP Charlie S.

[Pie]

I'm sorry for your loss, Sundae.

Re. quickly, quietly and peacefully: this is why they call pneumonia "an old man's friend".

[Sundae]

Okay.
Turns out the problems we had over Christmas are not over.
My 15 year old niece is pregnant.

I'm trying to calm people down by pointing out she hasn't done anything more than we already assumed she did, but it's not going down well.

My Mum & sister are going through their end-of-the-world routine again. I'm not blaming them, I know this is genuinely how they feel. It's just they're hurting themselves more with this reaction. And it doesn't "solve" anything after all. And selfishly it makes my life hell of course.

Ah dear.
Teens and hormones and Catholicism. And men old enough to know better. Bad, bad mix.

Looks like it's going to be a quiet termination.
I honestly don't know whether to admire my sister for her about-face on abortion in the face of reality, or whether to be furious that her superior attitude all this time has simply been because her faith hasn't been tested. I think I'll just keep my mouth shut and let everyone get on with things as best they can.

[classicman]

She is 15 and he is 36? Is that right?
If so, I think he should be in jail - just my opinion.
I was curious as to the catalyst for the "relationship" to come out. This was my first thought.
Sorry to hear what you were all probably wondering in the first place.

[Sundae]

He's 32 from what I can remember.
They considered the Police, but she would have to give evidence, and they don't want her to go through that. Mum & Dad want to cut his bollocks off though.

The relationship came out because we had adverse weather. She was caught where she shouldn't have been with no viable way home. She lied through her teeth, but they were suspicious enough to check her Facebook page before she got home and it all came out from there.

From the beginning she denied any physical activity, but they found photos on her (confiscated) phone that suggested otherwise. When this all kicked off at Christmas, Mum told my sis to keep an eye on her daughter's menstural cycle just in case... and so it came to light.

[glatt]

Classic is right. This guy should be behind bars.

[DanaC]

he should. But the lass has enough of a trauma ahead of her without having to go through the nastiness of testifying.

How's thing between your niece and the family? She still the centre of a cloud of anger, or is she being emotionally supported?

[Sundae]

Emotional support isn't big in this family.
It's more about pointing the finger at the one who rocked the boat, who ruined things for everyone, who caused the problems and put everyone else through hell. And-what-will-the-neighbours-say.

I imagine she is being subjected to white hot sparks of fury, as well as looming clouds of disappointment, and is carrying the burden of destroying both the immediate and extended family.

That's what I went through when I left my husband anyway.

The only good thing is that my nephew seems to be out of the loop to some extent.
He was happy and jolly (and farting and laughing at it) while Mum & sis had their crisis meeting. We did his RE homework on the computer - a poem about creation, chaos, sin and hope if you can believe it. I was then accused of writing it. Hello? Horrible metaphor alert?! I don't think so. I did split his stream of consciousness prose into the shape of a poem though.

[Undertoad]

They considered the Police, but she would have to give evidence, and they don't want her to go through that.

The next 15-year-old he preys on will really wish she did.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

My niece has been caught lying, dating a 32 year old (a troublesome ex-neighbour with whom her parents already have a history) and self harming.

found it - I still think . . .

Originally Posted by Undertoad

They considered the Police, but she would have to give evidence, and they don't want her to go through that.

The next 15-year-old he preys on will really wish she did.

that Tony is 100% correct. Accountability

Who knows if she is even the first he has done this to. Boy, it would have been nice if the last one had called the police, eh?

[Clodfobble]

I suspect the problem is not that the parents "don't want to put her through it," so much as it is they don't want to face the idea that she doesn't want to press charges. They don't want to rock the boat until she gets the abortion, otherwise they risk convincing her that he really is the only one who understands her after all...

[Sundae]

It's all part of the family ethos.
Don't show yourself up. Brush it under the carpet.
Shhhhhhhhhhh.

I think that they are blaming her for this. Because of what she's done to them, how she's hurt them. Mum said it over dinner, "I hope one day she [15 yo] realises just what she's put them [parents] through!"

I know that isn't healthy.
I grew up being fed the same lines - you're to blame, you're breaking up this family, you always have to be in the spotlight, you're just showing off because you're tired, why can't you be more like your sister.

Not saying she had any of that growing up. But she's getting it now, poor cow.

Thy can't get past the fact she lied, that she knew they [parents] hated him, so it must have been deliberate. She's not being considered as a victim, their attitude is to assume they've simply been too good to her, and this is how she repays them.

I don't even know what I think any more, after being downstairs and listening to it all again over dinner. I just know I'm glad I decided not to have children.

[DanaC]

Poor kid. My heart goes out to her. Being at the centre of a storm feels shitty.

What was upsetting me last night: a poorly Pilau. Seemed off-colour most of the day, then was sick; brought up a load of yellow bile. It happens from time to time, so I wasn;t that worried. Then he wasn't so interested in his meal come evening, and I was stoopid and tried to encourage him to eat. Why i do this I don't know. So, he ate about a third of it and left the rest. Then about two hours later, he brought the lot up. What was really sad was it took three lots of retching to bring it up and on the third retch he did a little cry, like it really hurt.

So then he was sadsack for the rest of the evening. By about 10 o'clock he seemed to be showing an interest in the food cupboard, so I got the tiniest bit of kibble and put it in front of him, jst to see if he'd eat it. he didn't. He was clearly asking for something, but it wasnt food. So, I refilled his water; no response. Then i took him on the back street in case he wanted to do something. Nada. But when we came back in he put his front paws on the bottom step of the stairs and looked up them then at me then back upstairs. I said "Do you want to go to bed?" He looked upstairs and then back at me again. "Go on then" I said. off he went upstairs.

Followed him up and he was on my bed looking sorry for himself. I figured maybe I should just close up for the night and go to bed, so he could relax and sleep. So I made a drink of hot chocolate and went to bed. And he lay on my bed with a slight whine under his breath. Every few minutes he'd change position. Move from one part of the bed to another. Get off the bed and lie by its side. Get back on the bed. Get off again. Go to the top of the stairs and lie there. Go to a different part of the landing and lie there. Come back to the bed. Lie at the bottom of the bed, then come and flump onto the spare pillow next to my head.

Every so often he'd cry a little, and every so often I'd hear a gurgling sound. Must have had such a bad stomach ache. Poor lamb must have felt like shit.

This went on for about two and a half hours. He eventually seemed to settle to sleep, so i went to sleep myself. He was still not himself this morning.

However; this evening, having had a nice leisurely walk and a ride in mum's car, followed by a good wholesome nap, he seemed a little better. He had perked up no end by the time I was presenting him with a bowl of chicken and boiled rice. Ate the lot and was eager for more. Only gave him a small portion. I'll give him another tiny portion before he goes to bed. Hopefully whaever it was has passed now. But it was really horrid having him so distressed and unable to settle. Poor fellah didn't know what to do with himself.