Cellar's Sexiest - Page 4

DucksNuts · 09-27-2006, 05:43 PM

I feel the need to ask for pics, but I think they might weird me out.

Crimson Ghost · 09-28-2006, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

:::fellates self while reading thread::: (very tricky)

RANDAL
She was pretty young, hunhh?
DANTE
Twenty-two; same as us.
RANDAL
An embolism in a pool.
DANTE
An embarrassing way to die.
RANDAL
That's nothing compared to how my cousin Walter died.
DANTE
How'd he die?
RANDAL
Broke his neck.
DANTE
That's embarrassing?
RANDAL
He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick.

Absolute silence. Then...

DANTE
Shut the hell up.
RANDAL
Bible truth.
DANTE
Stop it.
RANDAL
I swear.
DANTE
Oh, my god.
RANDAL
Come on. Haven't you ever tried to suck your own dick?
DANTE
No!
RANDAL
Yeah sure. You're so repressed.
DANTE
Because I never tried to suck my own dick?
RANDAL
No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a fucking pervert because he tries to go down on himself. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it.
DANTE
Who found him?
RANDAL
My cousin? My aunt found him. On his bed, doubled over himself with his legs on top. Dick in his mouth. My aunt freaked out. It was a mess.
DANTE
His dick was in his mouth?
RANDAL
Balls resting on his lips.
DANTE
He made it, hunhh?
RANDAL
Yeah, but at what a price.

Silence. Then...

DANTE
I could never reach.
RANDAL
Reach what?
DANTE
You know.
RANDAL
What, your dick?
DANTE
Yeah. Like you said, you know. I guess everyone tries it, sooner or later.
RANDAL
I never tried it.

DANTE glares at RANDAL.

Silence. Then...

RANDAL
Fucking pervert.

bluecuracao · 09-28-2006, 04:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

The word "fellatrix" would never be allowed in a movie screenplay. (Not because it's naughty, but because too many people would go, "a what???")

Here’s the setup: it’s Pulp Fiction II: The Prequel. Vincent and Jules are on their way to carry out some business...

VINCENT: After this job, I’m taking a break.

JULES: where you going?

VINCENT: I’m goin’ to Amsterdam

JULES: Amsterdam? I hear there’s fucked up shit going on in Amsterdam.

VINCENT: When were you in Amsterdam?

JULES: I didn’t SAY I was in Amsterdam, I said I HEARD there was some fucked up shit goin on in Amsterdam. Tony Rocky Horror went last year and barely made it outa that motherfucker ALIVE.

VINCENT: Really.

JULES: Shit yeah. Motherfucker went to the House of Fellatrix. You gotta visit that motherfucker.

VINCENT: Nah. I ain’t into all that whips and chains and shit.

JULES: No, House of Fellatrix is this storefront with bitches in the window, specializing in blow jobs.

VINCENT: So, a fellatrix is a woman who likes to give blow jobs.

JULES: Hell, yeah. They got women in Amsterdam who could suck you so hard, you’ll meet St. Peter at the goddamn pearly tonsils.

VINCENT: Alright.

xoxoxoBruce · 09-28-2006, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

The word "fellatrix" would never be allowed in a movie screenplay. (Not because it's naughty, but because too many people would go, "a what???")

Use it the title, drum up buzz and they'll know before they go.

Coming, in a theater near you....Fellatrix
Balcony seating, slightly higher.
Popcorn boxes with hole.... optional, at no extra charge.
Trench coats may be rented in the lobby.
Thursday is, Peewee Herman Singles Night Special.

This movie blows.....Screw Magazine.
Two thumbs up.......Anal News

SteveDallas · 09-28-2006, 08:54 AM

You two are obviously in the wrong business.

MaggieL · 09-28-2006, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

I'm not really down with the sexual aspect of being gay for everyone, either. It's more along the lines of excitement, like when your dog humps your leg. I don't want to get my privates involved.

Don't want to shock you, but there are no nonsexual aspects of being gay. Any such aspects are in fact aspects of "The Gay Commiunty", a well-known granfaloon.

See here: having well and properly stolen the word "gay", we certainly don't intend to allow it to be stolen back. If you want to "be gay", I'm afraid you'll actually have to *be* gay, and not simply be suffering a metrosexual moment. :-)

This isn't some status that is conferred lightly, like Ward Churchill becoming an Indian. For example, McGreevy is in danger of having his GayCard revoked.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

Maybe we could all just dry hump. or spoon.

And what sort of dryhumping/spooning is it that doesn't actually involve privates?

BigV · 09-28-2006, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieL

--snip--
And what sort of dryhumping/spooning is it that doesn't actually involve privates?

wrt *spooning*, I have enjoyed this with all our children when they were young and small enough to cuddle this way. I assure you that all privates involved remained strictly so.

Flint · 09-28-2006, 11:33 AM

"A particularly hellish boss character from Castlevania: SOTN having this name; it can best be described as a giant floating sphere of undead corpses."

Trilby · 09-28-2006, 11:53 AM

flint, lots of times I don't get you, but, honey--WTF?

Spexxvet · 09-28-2006, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

"A particularly hellish boss character from Castlevania: SOTN having this name; it can best be described as a giant floating sphere of undead corpses."

Check the Kurt Vonnegut reference

mrnoodle · 09-28-2006, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieL

Don't want to shock you, but there are no nonsexual aspects of being gay. Any such aspects are in fact aspects of "The Gay Commiunty", a well-known granfaloon.

See here: having well and properly stolen the word "gay", we certainly don't intend to allow it to be stolen back. If you want to "be gay", I'm afraid you'll actually have to *be* gay, and not simply be suffering a metrosexual moment. :-)

This isn't some status that is conferred lightly, like Ward Churchill becoming an Indian. For example, McGreevy is in danger of having his GayCard revoked.

And what sort of dryhumping/spooning is it that doesn't actually involve privates?

omg you are oppressing me. i am what i am, baby :p

if i want to be gay for the cellar without exchanging fluids, that's what i'll be.

Flint · 09-28-2006, 03:46 PM

ya, you ain't the boss of him :::snap:::

09-28-2006, 11:33 AM	#53
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	granfalloon (???) "A particularly hellish boss character from Castlevania: SOTN having this name; it can best be described as a giant floating sphere of undead corpses." __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

09-28-2006, 03:46 PM	#57
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	ya, you ain't the boss of him :::snap::: __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

09-27-2006, 05:43 PM	#46
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	I feel the need to ask for pics, but I think they might weird me out.

09-28-2006, 08:54 AM	#50
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	You two are obviously in the wrong business.

09-28-2006, 11:53 AM	#54
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	flint, lots of times I don't get you, but, honey--WTF?

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