Sexual history doesn't matter? Who would marry a porn star?

[mrnoodle]

jinx: lies, damn lies, and statistics
Rape is about power and control. Much of porn is, too. With or without official academic backing, I think common sense shows that hardcore porn reinforces a negative view of women, encourages unhealthy impulses in men (the power and control thing), and reduces the act of sex to simply "getting off". If viewing porn reduces the urge to act on sexual impulses, why don't we let pedos have all the kiddie porn they want? We could grandfather in all the porn that's already been produced and use it to rehabilitate molesters.

I realize that most people these days don't see sex as anything major. I also know that kids are becoming sexually active at younger and younger ages, having babies that their own parents must raise, getting abortions and getting diseased. The divorce rate is skyrocketing, with more marriages failing than succeeding. It's become chic to applaud any and all forms of sexuality (there are a few taboos left, but they'll be gone in 20 years) and deride people who cling to the hilarious notion that sex is better between 2 people who are committed to each other for life.

I just don't see that it's making us any happier. We keep searching for something that satisfies us, and it's never enough. We want to see more sex on TV, more sex on the internet, more sex more sex more sex. We have more sex in more places, in more orifices, with as many colors and flavors of partner as we can manage, yet we wonder privately why we never find real love.

Yes, some of you have managed it. Congrats.

[Trilby]

We don't let pedo's have kiddie porn because children are not adults, cannot give consent and no one is saying they are not damaged by this exploitation. I don't think we are talking about children or child porn here. As far as kids having sex younger and younger 'these days', every generation thinks the ones before were somehow "better"--I don't think so. Like the Good Old Days That Never Were--yeah, like before Penicillin and ibuprophen and child car seats and Child Labor Laws?

I think everyone should make peace with their own lives and sexuality. Have I made mistakes? Oh, my, yes! Am I sorry for them? Not in the way you'd think--I learned from each.

Obviously I'm not talking about people who use and abuse children or people who hurt (emotionally, physically or spiritually) others. I'm talking about two informed consenting adults.

I know there are factions out there that wish to legislate human sexuality. I also know it will never work. Human beings are human beings and act pretty much the same all throughout history. Not much new under the sun.

Oh, BTW, I, too, believe hard core porn degrades women.

I agree with Bri that there is nothing new under the sun except for better birth control. In the old days, there was stil porn, there were still serial killers with a sexually twisted motivation - think Jack the Ripper or the predator who lured and killed young women during the Chicago Worlds Fair at the turn of the last century (I think the book about him was called The White Death - I'll look it up if anyone cares). People were still coveting their neighbor's wives and husbands and acting out on those desires. Little girls could end up as prostitutes in the big cities or be married off at the age of 12. Lesbians and Gays have been with us since at least Greek and Roman times, and I'm sure they were around for longer than that. I could go on, but you get the idea.

My parents HAD to get married because I was conceived in the age before the pill or easy abortions. They stayed married because divorce was practically a sin up until the late 60's. A more unhappy couple you have never seen.

I think things are better now when people can experiment a little until they find the one who is "right" for them.

And Noodle, if you don't like all the sex on TV, you can always turn to PBS or the History Channel or read Proust and turn off the TV completely.

[Happy Monkey]

Originally Posted by marichiko

or the predator who lured and killed young women during the Chicago Worlds Fair at the turn of the last century (I think the book about him was called The White Death - I'll look it up if anyone cares).

H. H. Holmes, in "Devil in the White City". Good book.

It could make an interesting two movies; one about the fair, and the other about him, with odd little cameos connecting them.

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

H. H. Holmes, in "Devil in the White City". Good book.

It could make an interesting two movies; one about the fair, and the other about him, with odd little cameos connecting them.

Thanks, HM. I knew it had "White" somewhere in the title. It WAS a good book, and it would make a true crime movie that would keep you looking over your shoulder for weeks!

[Flint]

Originally Posted by Flint

My theory is that when the attempt to regulate morality comes into conflict with biological instincts, the inevitable drive of nature will find one way or another to assert it's dominance, in one possible scenario through the development of undesiarable deviant behavior.

I believe that pornography is just another symptom of our instincts over-compensating for the artificial behavioral barriers we've constructed.

[mrnoodle]

I don't long for the "good old days" or have a hissy fit if there's a butt on TV. The argument isn't that simplistic. Wondering if the hypersexualization of our society is a bad thing is not the same thing as saying "sex is dirty". I slightly resent having to waste my time explaining that, to be honest.

Lots of things were wrong in society in the 50s. Also the 40s, the 60s, the 90s, and so forth. But one of the things we seem to have lost is respect for our own bodies and those of others. What's wrong with a little mystery? What's wrong with modesty? What about salacious material is so worthy that we feel we must defend it from any criticism? For that matter, what is so unworthy about virginity that we mock it like some kind of mental illness?

I'm not in 6th grade, and I'm not Amish. I can say with some degree of certainty that I've almost seen it all. I'm just not all that impressed. Why is that viewpoint less enlightened somehow?

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

... I slightly resent having to waste my time explaining that, to be honest.

What's wrong with a little mystery? What's wrong with modesty? What about salacious material is so worthy that we feel we must defend it from any criticism?

No offense intended, I assure you. I apologize if I have offended you.

There is NOTHING wrong with a little mystery--I, myself, ADORE mystery and glances and handshakes and little notes. Nothing wrong with modesty, either. I wish more girls at my University would practice a bit of it. Nipples and dicks are all I see. Salacious material is an accepted form of entertainment for adults who know better but still like it. I did say earlier that hardcore porn DOES degrade women. I guess you were too busy being pissed off to notice.

PS-you've not seen it all unless you've been intimate and tried to actually rehabilitate the lowest of the low. Child molesters, addicts of every stripe who sell their babies to
white slavers so they can get another hit. Child abusers...

I, personally, respect Christian attitude...right up till they tell me I'm a bad person 'coz I'm not exactly like them.

[Trilby]

This is so easily solved. Look. Make sure she's a virgin so she won't laugh at your willy and will avert her pretty face instead of brazenly LOOKING at you while you're doing the nasty, vile 'deed' and you'll know she's ONLY doing it because it's her 'duty'; I'm sure she's thinking of England--that's how you know you've got a really good specimen and a worthy vessel for your sperm.

[mrnoodle]

Originally Posted by Brianna

This is so easily solved. Look. Make sure she's a virgin so she won't laugh at your willy and will avert her pretty face instead of brazenly LOOKING at you while you're doing the nasty, vile 'deed' and you'll know she's ONLY doing it because it's her 'duty'; I'm sure she's thinking of England--that's how you know you've got a really good specimen and a worthy vessel for your sperm.

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[Trilby]

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

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Of all the posts I've ever read...THAT is the most eloquent.

And, BTW--WTF? Too hot in the kitchen for ya, Noodle?

S'ok. You can always run to Mama.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Brianna

vessel for your sperm.

let us consider this phrase on it's own merit.

[KinkyVixen]

My point of view is that it doesn't really matter to me what anyone thinks about my sexual history...it all depends on how I feel about it. Of course, I wouldn't want my husband or future husband or whatever to look down on me because of it, but i'm willing to bet unless he's perfect that he has mistakes, sexually or otherwise in his past that he wouldn't want me to judge either. For me, the past is the past, and unless he has a disease or a kid that i need to deal with because of it, it will remain his past and mine will remain my past...
there's nothing you can do to change the past, so why spend all your time worrying about it?

Freedom means you are going to be around what others like... sometimes you may not like that. If you don't like freedom, and many cannot handle it, they should move to a dictatorship or theocracy.

Rape is about hatred of the opposite sex and self hate, porn can be a symptom of that because those with these illnesses can use it for that purpose. Just like alcohol can be misused, that does not mean it should be illegal any more than anything else that can be potentially be misused should be made to be illegal (see the owning of the antis in the gun threads and past tobacco threads) anti is anti freedom.

The analogy of cigarettes and heroin and alcoholism with porn and deviant behavior is accurate.

My wife and I have been together for over sixteen years, monogamous, porn is fun and exciting and spicy, nothing more. How you use it is up to the individual.... that is what freedom is about.

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

I never implied that sex was immoral unless people where married. However, sex for sex sake is intemperate. It’s irresponsible. It cheapens the intimacy that is supposedly the purpose of sex.
It isn't about adult choice its about honesty. Would you engage in sexual intercourse if it was stated right up front that the episode was pure recreational and the pairing will dissolve immediately afterwards?

I think nobody would honestly say yes given those terms because you cannot abstract sex. The risk of pregnancy and the responsibility that comes with it, no matter how slight, plays in the background of your thoughts. I never met a person that engaged in sex without SOME emotional component, unless they where buying a hooker.

Its that emotional component that seeds the moral question.

In a way I see what you mean. But, since the thread is about sexual "history" then your point is rather irrelevant.

A person may be all about the intimacy and love that makes sex wonderful; but you're saying that their history, which may have included some impetuous fancies of youth, should come into play in current relationships. Following up with that, that person who may have had some (delicious) youthful indiscretion, cannot be honest about it because this new person (who may be fulfilling in every other way) can't handle that truth.

We grow. We grow. We grow. The point isn't "where have you been?" The point is "where are you now?"