Dear cellar,

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

I still don't think I should be the only Dwellar called to account for irresponsibility - it occurs in many forms.

You aren't...

But I need to grow a thicker skin, stand up for myself more without collapsing into tears. And IF I have to justify what I spend, I will do - after a while, other Dwellars will be bored by it and ask questions as to why it's necessary.

Ignore that bit...

Mostly I've been hurting because I've been away.

You's an addiction.

I'm glad you are bad too.

Now where are those cool pictures?

[BigV]

ditto

[monster]

I'm glad you're back too. And I promise not to care publicly again.

[DanaC]

Y'know, my local friends (as opposed to my Dwellar friends) regularly see me munching down sweets, crisps, heavily sugared and coloured and flavoured goodies...and almost as regularly some of them comment. They know, because I have told them, that such food makes controlling/dealing with eczema much harder. I am an extremely hedonistic person. I am not good at denying myself something once I have latched onto wanting it. I end up eating far too much junk and after a while my system says 'No!' and I face the consequences...and then I am good for a while, until the junk starts to creep back in.

They know this. They know what I am like. Sometimes they can be a pain, keep bringing a downer onto my smarties and dairy milk. But from time to time it's kind of nice to know they're watching out for me. They know who I am, they know my little areas of weakness and danger zones. As indeed, I know theirs. They don't make the same comments to other friends whne they are munching a bag of crisps in the pub. But they may well comment on other stuff with them. That's just a thing of mine. And my friends know me enough, and care enough, to be watching for those pitfalls with me.

Sometimes, good friends nag.

*smiles*

I'm glad you're back m'dear. We want you here as you are. However that is at any one time.

[Aliantha]

I'm pretty sure no one wants to rehash it all now.

How bout we all just move on?

There's nothing to see here.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

There's nothing to see here.

That problem's easily fixed by you ladies providing pictures.

[Aliantha]

Being a smart arse isn't always helpful.

[Aliantha]

When someone shares something which is a struggle to them, they are open and vulnerable. People can either be aware of that or be arses about it.

Maybe it's different in the US, but I can tell you that over here, unless you're a very close confidant you have no right to tell someone else what to do unless they ask for your opinion. It's considered bad form and is generally unwelcome.

[Aliantha]

I agree it's pointless.

eta: What I'm telling you is not bullshit. It is simply different to the standards you live by.

Yes we have tough love, but it comes from those who actually do love us. Otherwise it's just criticism.

I'm not lecturing you. This is an open forum as you say. I happen to disagree with your stance in this case and I'm telling you why. I do realize you're not the only one who has the same opinion so these words are not just for you. If they were I'd put them in a PM which is where I think it would have been aproppriate for the issue which started this particular shitstorm to have been discussed. Not on an open forum.

If I thought one of my friends IRL was doing something stupid and felt I couldn't just sit by and watch any longer, I wouldn't go and sprout off my opinion in front of a crowd of people. I'd take them aside and say it quietly to them. My opinion in someone else's personal matters is not anyone else's business but that of the person involved unless they turn around and ask in front of everyone.

What right people have to criticize your actions is exactly why I personally do not share the shitty stuff with people online on an open forum. When you feel shitty already, you don't need someone dumping another load on in front of the masses.

That's all I have to say in this thread.

[Flint]

This is a public forum. It is, by definition, something that happens in front of the masses. That is it's purpose for existence.

[Pico and ME]

When you feel shitty already, you don't need someone dumping another load on in front of the masses.

Its gonna happen, there are just those kind of people who will do it. And they are the kind that you just shut off when they do it. It matters not. It all has to be taken in stride here on the open interwebs.